Bow Wow Wow, Yippee Yo, Yippee Yay

Mikey Vick in the m*** f*** HAY-OUSE!!

Yes, unless you've been living under a rock or something for the past few weeks, you've heard about the magical mystery tour that has been the off-season of one Michael Vick.  It started a few months ago when Vick allegedly tried to board a plane carrying a water bottle with a secret compartment that was reported to have some Mary Jane in it.

(This is notable, if only for the fact that it inspired the Weekend Update people on Saturday Night Live to utter the line "So you put your weed, which is not allowed on a plane, inside of another object that is NOT ALLOWED ON A PLANE!  And that's notable because it's one of the 4 or 5 funny things that Saturday Night Live has done since Chris Farley left town.)

But the biggie has come up over the past few weeks with the allegations that Vick has been involved in a dog fighting ring.  At first it was said that he wasn't directly involved, but the action was taking place on a piece of property that he owns.  However, as the story has progressed, it's shown that Vick appears to have been more deeply involved than anyone could have initially thought.  There have even been reports that Vick has wagered between $30,000 and $40,000 on the fights themselves, and that he's a "heavyweight" in the dog fighting community.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I'm a proud, happy dog owner.

Oh, sure, they LOOK cute and cuddly, but they're as vicious as the day is long.  I tried to take a Milk Bone away from Cosmo (the one on the left) one time. . .I still have the stitches in my finger to prove it.  Killer, I tell you. . .absolute killers.

(I kid, I kid.)

But quite frankly, if Mike Vick is found to have been connected in any way, shape, or form to this dog fighting operation, he's a bottom feeder.  This is the kind of thing that's engaged in by nothing more than the absolute dregs of society as we know it today.  You truly have to be a sick, useless human being to find yourself engaged in anything like this.

(And if I find out that any members of the Vikings are ever involved in anything like this, they'll be bottom feeders in my eyes, too.  I don't care if it's Tarvaris Jackson or Adrian Peterson or Pat Williams or anyone in between.  The color of the uniform has no bearing on my view of the people involved with this sort of thing.)

Now, there's been talk about Vick facing some sort of a league suspension because of this.  To this I simply say "get real."

Michael Vick could take a chainsaw to a basket full of kittens on the front steps of the league offices, and the powers that be wouldn't do a damn thing to him.  And I don't anticipate them doing anything to him here, either, connection or not.  Sure, there's precedent with Commissioner Goodell's recent actions against Pac-Man Jones and Chris Henry, as well as his pending action against Tank Johnson.  But here's the rub when it comes to that.

Pac-Man Jones?  He's a nobody.

Chris Henry?  He's a nobody.

Tank Johnson?  He's a nobody, too.

Michael Vick, on the other hand, is a guy that the NFL has been shoving down our throats as much as possible for the entirety of his NFL career.  Whether the NFL likes it or not, he's one of the faces of the league, because the NFL made him one of the faces of the league.  That's why I don't see the league doing anything to him, no matter how great the outrage might become.

If Goodell does have the cojones to do anything to Vick in this case, it would send a HUGE message to the rest of the league.  But I'm not holding my breath.