Blogger Deathsport: Week 5

It's that time of the week again, folks.  After two consecutive weeks of being over the .500 mark, yours truly regressed a little bit in Week 4 with a 6-7 mark for the week.  However, I'm still over .500 for the season, albeit just barely at 30-29-1.  No weekly victories for me yet, either, which is something else that has to change.  Let's try to get that changed this week, as we fire up another edition of my Blogger Deathsport picks.  Numbers supplied again, as always, by the Blogger Deathsport head office in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.

Buffalo at Arizona (-1)
--Gonzo's Take:  The Bills have an outstanding defense and just enough offense to be dangerous.  The Cardinals have. . .wait, Kurt Warner just turned the ball over again.  (Is anyone else laughing about the fact that Warner turned it over six times last week, and there isn't even a whisper about the Cards going to Matt Leinart?)
 
Kansas City at Carolina (-9.5)
--Gonzo's Take:  Wow. . .I know Kansas City is awful and everything, but that's a lot of points.  Carolina's a better team at home, and the Chiefs are pretty bad on the road.  Ah, hell, let's go with the Panthers to cover.
 
Chicago (-3.5) at Detroit
--Gonzo's Take:  The good news for the Lions?  They fired Matt Millen.  The bad news for the Lions?  Oklahoma would probably put up 35 against their defense.  Which means the Bears have gotta be good for what. . .24, at least?
 
Cincinnati at Dallas (pick 'em)
--Gonzo's Take:  Because when I think of 0-4 Cincinnati going on the road to 3-1 Dallas, the first thought that enters my mind is "Yep, that's a toss-up!"  Cowboys by roughly eleventy billion.
 
Tampa Bay at Denver (-3)
--Gonzo's Take:  Man. . .this might be my game to watch on Sunday.  (Have I mentioned recently that I hate waiting for Monday night games?  I have?  Well, I do.)  Tampa's defense has been pretty good the past few weeks, but Denver's offense was on a serious roll before getting off track at Arrowhead last week.  I think the Broncos have enough to get the job done here.
 
Atlanta at Green Bay (pick 'em)
--Gonzo's Take:  Aaron Rodgers' consecutive starts streak (probably) ends at 2, just 256 short of Brett Favre's record.  Well, he'll start over eventually. . .maybe. . .as soon as his strained uterus heals.
 
Indianapolis (-3) at Houston
--Gonzo's Take:  Indy's only a three-point favorite here?  Damn. . .after their bye week and a chance to get their stuff together, I think we're going to see a much better Colts team than we've seen over the first month of the season.  Steve Slaton might get his yards, but the Texans will be playing from behind in a hurry in this one, I think.
 
Pittsburgh at Jacksonville (-4)
--Gonzo's Take:  Going with the road upset here, provided that Ben Roethlisberger's arm doesn't come flying off at some point.  With the injuries to their running backs, the Steelers re-signed Najeh Davenport this week.  Expect him to play the role of a scatback, catching many dump passes.

(No, poop jokes never get old.  Thank you for asking.)
 
New England (-3) at San Francisco
--Gonzo's Take:  Is Randy Moss already mailing it in?  Would you be surprised if he was?  I know I wouldn't be.  He's just saving himself for when Tom Brady gets back, I guess.  Still, the Patriots should be able to take this one.
 
Seattle at New York Giants (-7)
--Gonzo's Take:  Koren Robinson, #1 wide receiver?  Yeah, I've heard enough.  Throw in the fact that the Giants might be the best team in the league right now (and definitely the best team in the NFC), and this one should be a victory for the G-Men.
 
Washington at Philadelphia (-5.5)
--Gonzo's Take:  People keep doubting the Redskins, but after looking completely lost in their season opener, they've actually looked pretty good in winning their last three.  I'm not sure why Philadelphia is favored by this much, to be honest.  Take Washington and the points, if not for the outright win.
 
San Diego (-6.5) at Miami
--Gonzo's Take:  After having so much success with the single-wing formation against New England, look for the Dolphins to pull out the A11 offense against San Diego.  I don't think it will matter or anything, but wouldn't it be interesting to watch?
 
Tennessee (-3) at Baltimore
--Gonzo's Take:  After a tough game against Pittsburgh on Monday, the Ravens get to turn around and face the Titans on short rest.  Look for Kyle Vanden Bosch and/or Albert Haynesworth to actually hit Joe Flacco with a steel chair while the referee's back is turned.

Minnesota at New Orleans (-3)
--Gonzo's Take:  I'm going to come off as a negative nelly here again, but much like I said for the Carolina game, the Vikings have given me no indicators that they can win this one.  As a final score for tiebreaker purposes, I'll go with a final score of 31-24 in favor of New Orleans, but I'm not sure that it will stay that close.  (Yes, I'm hoping for the same results as we got for the Carolina game, too.)