Well, ladies and gentlemen, after one week of Blogger Deathsport, I've proven that. . .I'm sort of bad at this. Yes, as of now I'm second from the basement, and one of only two people that had a sub-.500 record in Week #1 of the NFL season. We damn sure can't continue to have that happen, can we? So, I go into this week with the mindset that things have to be better, because they sure as hell can't get much worse.
So, with that in mind, here are my picks for this week's Blogger Deathsport pool. Winners, as always, are in bold.
Miami Dolphins at Arizona Cardinals (-6.5)
--Gonzo's Take: I tried to be kind to the Dolphins last week, and they almost. . .almost. . .pulled it off for me. I don't think I can be quite as nice this week. Cardinals by at least a TD.
Chicago Bears at Carolina Panthers (-3)
--Gonzo's Take: Vegas has the line right here, in my opinion. These are two very evenly matched teams. As such, I think I'm going to have to go with the home team, even though it would give the Panthers some significant momentum going into their game at the Metrodome in Week 3.
Tennessee Titans at Cincinnati Bengals (-1.5)
--Gonzo's Take: You know what's weird? The Chad Johnson/Ocho Cinco thing isn't even the weirdest storyline involved with this game, thanks to Vince Young's escapades over the past couple of days. Still, the Bengals haven't shown that they deserve to be favored over anyone yet, so go with the Titans here.
Green Bay Packers (-3) at Detroit Lions
--Gonzo's Take: Honestly, why are the Packers only favored by three here? Because it's at Detroit? I can't think of a good reason otherwise.
Baltimore Ravens at Houston Texans (-4.5)
--Gonzo's Take: And whatcha gonna do. . .WHATCHA GONNA DO. . .when Flaccomania runs wild on YOU!? Really, I know a lot of people are high on the Texans, but after how horrendous they looked last week, I can't take them with a good conscience here.
Indianapolis Colts (-2) at Minnesota Vikings
--Gonzo's Take: That's right. . .PASS ME KOOL-AID, WENCH!! YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Buffalo Bills at Jacksonville Jaguars (-6)
--Gonzo's Take: I watched most of the Jaguars/Titans game last weekend, and the one word I can think of to describe my impression of the Jags is "underwhelmed." And that was before all of their offensive linemen got hurt. The Bills continue their fast start with another victory over a team projected to be a power during the pre-season.
Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs (-4)
--Gonzo's Take: Damn. . .do I have to? I do? Ah, crap. . .well, the Chiefs gave the Pats a run last week after Tom Brady went out, and the Raiders. . .meh. Take the Chiefs at Arrowhead.
New York Football Giants (-8.5) at St. Louis Rams
--Gonzo's Take: I'm not sure how much of the Giants' defensive performance last week was them and how much was mental flatulence on the part of Jim Zorn. . .but I do know that the Rams looked absolutely hideous last Sunday. At this point, I might not take the Rams to beat USC.
New England Patriots at New York Jets (-2)
--Gonzo's Take: Man, did the line for THIS game ever shift. You know what, though? Even with Matt Cassel at quarterback, I think that the Patriots are the better football team here.
Pittsburgh Steelers (-6) at Cleveland Browns
--Gonzo's Take: Still not buying the Browns. . .definitely buying the Steelers at this point. Pittsburgh, to me, is the clear #1 team in the AFC right now, and they're much better than the Browns at this point. Take the Steelers and the 6, even at Cleveland.
San Diego Chargers (-2.5) at Denver Broncos
--Gonzo's Take: The parade of underdogs continues, as I think the Broncos are looking to exact revenge on the Bolts from last season.
San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks (-8)
--Gonzo's Take: The Seahawks don't have to fly across three time zones this week, and the Niners really aren't very good. This has all the makings of a very, very long afternoon for the road team. Sure, Matt Hasselbeck might be throwing to Steve Largent and Brian Blades by the time the game's over, but that would probably be good enough.
Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-8)
--Gonzo's Take: Another team I was a bit underwhelmed by was Tampa Bay. Yes, they put up a good fight against New Orleans, but their defense got shredded by Drew Brees and company. I know that Matt Ryan isn't Drew Brees or anything, but I don't think he's bad enough to justify the Bucs being 8-point favorites. Tampa might win, but I think it's going to be close.
New Orleans Saints at Washington Redskins (even)
--Gonzo's Take: The Redskins looked pretty bad on opening weekend, and Jim Zorn looked nothing short of utterly lost. The Saints' offense, on the other hand, already looks to be in mid-season form. Not a particularly good combination if you're a 'Skins fan.
Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys (-6.5)
--Gonzo's Take: Over/under on gratiitous shots of Jessica Simpson - 206. Over/under on complaints from Gonzo about that - 1. Play the under on that second one. And we'll conclude underdog week by taking one more. . .the Cowboys will probably win the football game, but the Eagles should be able to stay within a touchdown.