I want to use this space to write about the Vikings and how they performed coming out of the bye week. This is the 20th anniversary of the bye week in the NFL schedule, and it came at the perfect time for the Minnesota Vikings. That said, it never comes at a good time for us, the fans. Quite frankly, the bye week sucks.
I’ve been married for twenty years, or longer than the bye week has been around, and every year the bye week sucks, and every year the overall suckitude of the bye week gets worse. Well, this year was okay, because both Green Bay and Chicago lost in separate, yet equally embarrassing fashion, but did I get to see any of it? No, I did not. Why? Please refer to the ‘I’ve been married for 20 years’ comment. I have a great wife, and how she’s managed to put up with me for 20 years I’ll never know. I just gratefully accept that there’s someone on this earth who doesn’t think I’m a complete dick, and move on to ponder other things. Like where I left my damn car keys…getting old sucks.
Anyways, I play this cat and mouse game with my wife of ‘Hide the Bye Week’ every year since I got the Sunday Ticket, because it is the one weekend that my wife automatically assumes is hers from early September to early February. About Wednesday, she’ll ask who the Vikings are playing. And every year, I’m a dope, because for 16 weeks, I spit out the opponent, home or away, time the game comes on, and what station it is on. And when I say ‘spit out’ I mean it’s out within two seconds, like it’s something I’ve known since childhood. On the bye week, I say something lame, like ‘I’m not sure’, or ‘I haven’t looked it up yet’, and she has me. I’m gooned, and the plans she has been scheming for three to eleven weeks are hatched upon me, much like D-Day was launched on the continent of Europe. You know it’s coming, but you’re not sure where and with how much force.
This season? Pretty bad. I got carted off to antique shops (oooooh, what a nice armoire), the grocery store (baby, go over two aisles and get me some pomegranates), a local garden store (don’t these marigolds look pretty, honey?), and then I spent the rest of the day doing shit around the house. Shit I normally wouldn’t have to do, mind you, but for the damn bye week. The driveway has been weather sealed, the garage got cleaned, we finalized plans for finishing off the basement.
Oh, the Vikes are an all-time 16-4 coming out of the bye (there were two bye weeks in 1993, an especially painful year), and they should kick the hell out of Detroit. Sorry, I gotta go clean the gutters. See you Sunday.