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Around SBN: The Worst Team Ever Projected?

The Mythical MSFC Stadium

Yes, on December 17, 2009 AD, the last day before the month of Muharram of 1431 anno Hegirae, the Minnesota Sports Facilities Commission announced their pipe dream for a new stadium.  (Happy new year!   Can world peace now be far behind?)

Yes, read on, my children, to the spine-tingling battle and a the tale of two stadia: one with a governor who may have actually talked with Zygi Wilf (Shazam!), and the other one with custom environmental exemptions already signed by the Guvernator and backed by Ed Roski, the Daddy Warbucks of LA.

Which stadium to you think has the bright future, people?  (Hint: "The sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar....")

(Oh, the Vikings?   Do the words "I'll be back" or "Hasta la vista, baby" ring any bells for you?)

Star-divide

Sorry , Annie and Arnold.  Oh yeah, now where was I?

Forget about fantasy football stadiums... 

Back In the real world, Majestic Realty is working on a real NFL stadium.  They not only have a design, they have real money, as well as already enacted legislation exempting the project from California environmental hurdles.   They've bought off the complaints from the neighboring city of Walnut.

"Major Tom to ground control.  Starting countdown.  Engines on."

They have the land for it in City of Industry, a twenty-mile, hour's drive north of Anaheim.

Funny, it could be a coincidence that the seats in drawings of the new stadium look purple, couldn't it?.

If could also be a coincidence that the L. A. Lakers (formerly of Minnesota) wear purple and gold.

If could be the billionaire behind Ed Roski, who helped build the Staples Center a decade ago, just likes the color purple.

(Okay, it probably is a coincidence that Oprah is leaving her TV show and once appeared in "The Color Purple", but enough about Chicago.)  

The times, they are a changin'.

Back in Minnesota, the "imaginary" stadium might somehow have 65000 seats, 7500 club seats, and 148 luxury seats, although Zygi Wilf is the only guy even hinting he has any money for a new stadium anywhere for the Vikings. 

Sure, Minnesota has Prince and Dylan, but California is not lacking in celebrities.  Out west, the new stadium will have 75,000 seats, 12,550 club seats, and 176 luxury suites.

(Roof, we don't need to show you no stinking retractible roof!   Get  real!  This is Southern California.  As for the wives' tales about there being no football fans out here, the truth is that over 100,000 people have written in trying to get season's tickets for an NFL team that is yet to be named.  In case you have not heard, the median family income in Orange County, California, is over 70 grand per year, and its population is over two and a half million people.)

A team by any other name would smell as sweet.  How about the California Terminators?

Californians can count.   The NFL is in no position to expand.  The Buffalo Bills have some thing going with Toronto.   The Saints have holy protection and seem to be working it out.   That leaves the Vikings left as the one with the most real stadium problem.   You do the math:   Let me see, as a Californian, do I want to move teams around my own state, like deck chairs on the Titanic, or do I want to steal teams from somewhere else, since NFL is not in the mood for expansion?  Yep, I want more jobs out here, and I'm looking for unsuspecting suckers to pony up.  Do I want the Rams back?  Hell no.  Give me a show with some real firepower.

Yes, Zygi doesn't need to attend meetings about some imaginary stadium built in some undetermined future century.  He needs to attend meetings with any people capable of building a real stadium in short order, so his investors can start profiting from all the talent the Vikings have invested in the team.  It is called "professional" football for a reason.  The idea of being professional is to make money.

Now is the cheapest time to build a stadium, while construction workers and companies are dying for work.   You cannot wait for the recession to end to build one.   At best, the price of poker will go up on you.   At worst, you won't have a horse left anymore to put in the new barn you build.

Minnesota didn't build a stadium when the state had so much money that Jesse decided to give it back.   What makes anyone believe Minnesota is going to build a stadium?

So who is Zygi talking to these days?   Is there some team of financially secure superheroes capable of saving Minnesota?   Maybe they'll build one near the Mayo Clinic, so you can have surgery and watch touchdowns in recovery.   Maybe they'll build the Laura Ingalls Wilder Stadium out of pipestone, somewhere out on US 14.   Maybe there will be a sky city stadium, orbiting in the neutral zone above the Boundary Waters.

Nope.  I don't think so.

Something tells me if no one invests in the future, there won't be one.

It's the golden rule:  If you've got the gold, dude, you rule.  

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a community, that view is no less important.

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I absolutely love your optimism

you make chicken little look like an optimist

Adrian Peterson, enough said.

by 4 AP Jerseys on Dec 18, 2009 3:22 AM CST reply actions  

No Kidding

Hell, if you were a manic depressive having a great day and actually feeling good about yourself, talk to this guy, you’ll be back to normal and contemplating taking your own life in no time!

Could you imagine being a kid in his house?

“Daddy Daddy, my teacher say’s I’m really really good and I could become the most famous person ever!”
“Well, I’m not so sure about that one. If someone who makes very little money and is over worked is telling you that, are they instilling their own beliefs on you? Is it coincidence that someone who may have failed in their own endevours be setting you up to do the same? Is going after something you love really worth it when you don’t have a voice because you aren’t rich? Hmmmm, I’m ashamed at your enthusiasm. How many times have I told you to always look at the negative of life? I think you need to go upstairs and think about this until you come to you lack of senses.”

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk."
"You men are only risking your lives, while I am risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor!"
"We have clearance Clarence. Roger Rodger, what's our vector Victor?"

by VikesFaninNM on Dec 18, 2009 7:34 AM CST up reply actions  

Composition 101

Ya know, a short and to the point analysis of the stadium situation would have gotten your doom and gloom point across better than college newspaper editorial/trying-WAY-too-hard snark and sarcasm.

by Midnight Rambler on Dec 18, 2009 7:45 AM CST reply actions  

+1

I was always taught to write to your audience. This is a football blog, when I want to see something more erudite I go to work and look up Nature, Science, or Circulation articles. Brevity is key.

by Jepp The Viking on Dec 18, 2009 10:22 AM CST up reply actions  

Erudite?

With all the governator and musical references I don’t know if I’d call this erudite. I think pessimistic college newspaper editorial or humor column is pretty accurate since it’s more pop culture reference than informative.

It also baffles me he left Jacksonville out of the picture, but I suppose he didn’t want to offer any rays of hope on his black canvas. If the goal is to rally people to the cause you can’t spell out your doom as a forgone conclusion.

It’s true the picture is grim with the state opting to give the Pohlads a stadium. So we can fatten up those trust-fund babies a little more with our tax dollars while they run a farm club for all the real teams in their league that actually pay their players to stay and play for them.

If you want erudite here’s how the Twins got their stadium:

Last year the Hennepin County Board of Commissioners passed a 30-year, 0.15% sales tax that will fund the majority of the cost of the stadium. Citizens of Hennepin County were denied a vote on this when the MN State Legislature granted a first-time-ever exemption from the state law that requires a referendum for new local sales taxes.

This should be our rallying point. If the state is willing to defraud it’s own people of millions to build a stadium for a bunch of low-class bottom feeders like the Pohlads to nickel and dime their over-achieving franchise into the ground, then they should absolutely be willing to fund a stadium for an ownership group that actually tries to put a winning team on the field. And also support the most popular sport in the state and the country.

If sports teams aren’t worth the money why is LA and Ed Roskie trying to get a team?

It’s not sexy or funny, but CALL YOUR STATE REPRESENTATIVES and tell them the Vikings are important to you and to the state of Minnesota.

A good coach makes his team better, he doesn’t wait for a better team to make him look good.

by dwarg on Dec 18, 2009 11:00 AM CST up reply actions  

I don't even live in Minnesota...

but I’ve written two letters to Pawlenty himself concerning the issue. My family owns three season tickets and between myself and my two brothers, we have spent several thousand dollars in the state.

No doubt there are others like me and it brings in millions of dollars to the Minnesota economy.

If the Vikings leave, that’s going to be a lot of lost business and tax revenue from out of state visitors for Minnesota. I hope they recognize that fact.

by EasternVike on Dec 18, 2009 11:08 AM CST up reply actions  

Dialog

Okay, I could call on Michael McDonald to sing “Taking it to the Streets” or “What a Fool Believes,” but I’ll drag a dead guy to the stand instead. (People like Stephen King and Grisham. This could be like Reese’s cups, if you are optimistic.)

There is no “what should be,” there is only what is." – Lenny Bruce

I want to testify too.

“Not everyone who smiles is your friend; not everyone who says things you dislike is your enemy.” – Elgar

(There is nothing insincere about the third person. Other people make their decisions out there all the time.)

Who cares about my erudition or even brains? Queue ad hominem fallacy. Even the blind bird gets its worms. Seymour Cray learned the vulnerability of brains when his were impacted as the roof of his Cherokee repeatedly hit the pavement, due to the actions of a fool named Dave who inadvertently killed him using that other car which Dave failed to observe approaching from behind in his rush blow the doors off Cray as he entered the expressway near Colorado Springs. The driver of the third car to which Dave was oblivious was forced to decide whether he wanted his family to die after he had swerved off the road to avoid Dave, since the median strip ends at the overpass ahead. He chose to get back on the road, unfortunately clipping Cray and rolling his vehicle. Choices are often determined by what we have to lose. Dave is alive. Seymour is not. Bad things do happen.

Zygi and Ed are businessmen. They are going to make decisions from their point of view, not yours or mine or those of people who foolishly think they will never help a billionare. Ed is laughing all the way to the bank. He doesn’t need the low hanging fruit. The best grapes make the best wine. This is California calling. Is anyone there? Which team would you go to see from LA, the Vikings or the Rams or the Jaguars? Do you miss Troy Williamson? Well do you, punk? How many shots did I fire (or drink)?

Okay, so I’m insane. Like my first wife who had schizophrenia once correctly observed, “Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.”

The audacity of hope is a wonderful thing, but the problem here is that few are answering the wake-up call about the Vikings.

(By the way, the correct spelling is Guvernator, with a “u”. Californian’s know things from which you all may profit. Recycle the rest.)

Ed is not going to tell you which team he is really after. That’s like telling the used car salesman which car you really, really want.

You are spot on about why Ed is after football. There’s money to be made or lost.

Hit the naysayers about the impact of the economic loss of the Vikings hard: If someone is addicted to football, why won’t he or she go to Lambeau to spend his or her money rather than the Guthrie after the Vikings leave? (Would the theater crowd pack the Metrodome if the Guthrie closed?) It’s football firing football fans up, not the money burning a hole in their pockets. The people from the Dakota’s don’t come to the Cities because the water from 10,000 lakes is better. Cheese Free doesn’t come from Winnepeg every game day to see the spoon with the cherry or the Mary Richard’s statue tossing its hat around. There are no Soviet troops at the St. Croix to prevent the exodus from Minnesota. Give me Hudson or give me death! People can move. (I did.) Remenber, financial experts with ex-rocket scientists doing the math caused this recession.

The people of Cleveland in 1995 did not lack hope. They hoped the problem would go away. (Unfortunately, the team left instead.) They lacked fear. Green Bay is your Pittsburgh. I’ve seen the original movie in real life. I was born in northeast Ohio. This is another remake.

Yes, the state senators and representatives should be afraid of you. They are not. While I was a Minnesota, I wrote, called, and wanted to get more personal saliva on mine, all to no avail. Minnesota is full of people much like Dave who don’t know where the hell they are going.

You need to be scared as hell, so the legislators will be too.

Ask an old Browns fan about how things were. They saw the “Ravens” win the Super Bowl. (They saw Ahmad Rashad catch the hail Mary in 1980, too.) Optimism is not all it is cracked up to be. Civil demonstations work better,

Reprise: "There is no “what should be,” there is only what is." – Lenny Bruce

by Elgar on Dec 18, 2009 6:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Attempting first contact.

Ku Ku Kachoo Ms. Robinson. Yes that is a football in my pants and I AM glad to see you. So welcome to my parlor said the blind man to the fly as he picked up his hammer and saw.

“If you want to move a football team your going to need a plane big enough to carry them and all their concubines” – Lenny Spruce Goose

I’m too legit to quit and you can’t touch this, but please Hammer don’t hurt them, they know not what they do. Ed Roskie’s mansion has many rooms and you shall dine with me in paradise.

The workers control the means of production and remember to drink your Ovaltine — Little Orphan Annie

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might just find you get what you need.

Peace Out!

A good coach makes his team better, he doesn’t wait for a better team to make him look good.

by dwarg on Dec 18, 2009 11:27 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

OMG that was dead on!

Too funny!

"Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's guts out?" -Joe Kapp

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 19, 2009 11:06 AM CST up reply actions  

Thank you

I’d meant to work in a “Temba, his arms wide” at the end as an olive branch to anyone that could decipher the reference but I forgot about it before I got bored with the whole thing and shut it down.

A good coach makes his team better, he doesn’t wait for a better team to make him look good.

by dwarg on Dec 19, 2009 1:54 PM CST up reply actions  

Shaka, when the walls fell

+10 for the ST:TNG ref :)

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
SKOL!

by DCPurple on Dec 19, 2009 11:36 PM CST up reply actions  

I swear Elgar you give me head aches

But I did enjoy the post. I however think Jacksonville has a much better chance of relocation. They havn’t sold a game out this season. It was one of the NFL’s small market attempts and even the Goodell is stating that it looks like it failed.

No I think when he starts looking for a team the NFL is going to shuck him into picking up Jacksonville because honestly I don’t see that city being able to support a team for much longer.

by Grime on Dec 18, 2009 8:28 AM CST reply actions  

Let's not forget...

Ed’s plan is for 2!, yes 2!! NFL football teams for his new stadium… so he can have football games played there EVERY SUNDAY during the season(and make even more money)…
Elgar is right (though over-eloquent, imho)… Minnesota better do something or the Vikings are LA bound.

I BELIEVE...

by ArizonaVikingsFan on Dec 18, 2009 10:26 AM CST up reply actions  

The NFL would never allow 2 teams at the same stadium.

"Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's guts out?" -Joe Kapp

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 18, 2009 10:28 AM CST up reply actions  

Good point...

…An anomaly? The Jets are just weird, Favre hated it there anyway!

"Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's guts out?" -Joe Kapp

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 18, 2009 11:12 AM CST up reply actions  

well, wrong, first...

and second. It IS what he wants…. the dark lord of the NFL…

In the Land of Hollyweird where the Roski’s lie.
One Stadium to rule them all, One Team to find them,
One Team to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

I BELIEVE...

by ArizonaVikingsFan on Dec 18, 2009 11:18 AM CST up reply actions  

Your posts, if nothing else, always remind me of The Seventh Seal


Death: Have you lost interest?
Block: Lost interest? On the contrary!
Death: You look worried. Are you hiding something?
Block: Nothing escapes you!
Death: Nothing escapes me. No one escapes me.

I think that must be why my ancestors left there. Try this instead!

"Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's guts out?" -Joe Kapp

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 18, 2009 10:27 AM CST reply actions  

+ eleventy-four!!

any Monty Python reference gets my nod!

“I’m NOT a virgin!”

I BELIEVE...

by ArizonaVikingsFan on Dec 18, 2009 10:43 AM CST up reply actions  

There was an interview with Roski

That I cam across on youtube where he was having an inlength discussion with some woman from a local TV station in L.A. I would hunt for it but at work at the moment. But he wasent saying anything on the teams, but she came out and said that she understood they are in talks with Jacksonville, Buffalo and the Rams at which point he did concede the answer. Given the present situation, if there are two teams going to L.A., I can see the Rams going back and the Jags heading there as well.

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk."
"You men are only risking your lives, while I am risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor!"
"We have clearance Clarence. Roger Rodger, what's our vector Victor?"

by VikesFaninNM on Dec 18, 2009 11:16 AM CST reply actions  

Vikings can't move until after 2011

But that is not necessarily true of other teams.

by medicineball on Dec 18, 2009 11:21 AM CST reply actions  

My understanding

though I could be wrong, is that the Jags could escape their lease if they went 3 complete seasons without a sellout. Well, lastnights game apperently reset that clock as they sold out their first home game this season at 67,000 and some change. Kinda pathetic when the college games there sellout in no time. Anyways, a new owner would have to buy out to move. But with the lack of support in Jax, that wouldnt be a problem. Also, the owners family wants nothing to do with the team and no local investors have stepped forward there so looking more and more like the Jags would be the best bet for relocation. While the present owner there said he wouldnt move them, he might get to a point with no family or fan support that he has no choice but to sell now to anyone and Roski has been licking his chops at the Jags for awhile.

That mirrors the situation in Buffalo to an extent with Wilson not giving a crap about the city that’s supported his team since the founding of the AFL. He has publicly stated his team is up for grabs, to anyone, anywhere. But with a few games in Toronto, who knows, might get a few investors locally who will pick up the team and keep the Buffalo/Toronto games going

The Rams could make a return to their second home in L.A. as well as the team has what it consideres an unfavorable lease and could be able to escape it fairly cheaply and easily at the moment.

Right now, those are the 3 teams L.A. appears to be zeroing in on. Contrary to Mr. Negativity above, the Vikings name has not come up in talks in quite sometime and Wilf appears to be trying to concentrate at home even with the MSFC bungling things as much as they can. While not out of the woods, this does give me some better feelings on the situation.

As I see it, you could very well have the Jags in L.A. with a possible Rams team there too by the start of next season. I would give the Jags a definate by the start of 2011. 50/50 with the Rams going back and the Bills, 30/70

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk."
"You men are only risking your lives, while I am risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor!"
"We have clearance Clarence. Roger Rodger, what's our vector Victor?"

by VikesFaninNM on Dec 18, 2009 3:02 PM CST up reply actions  

good post elgar

i don’t agree with it and think jacksonville will be the team to move to la but i like your posts. always creative.

by iseepurplepeople on Dec 18, 2009 3:24 PM CST reply actions  

City of Industry, CA...

Something I just remembered; one of the reasons that the Raiders didn’t work out in Anaheim was that, once the novelty wore off, no one wanted to drive out to Anaheim from LA. Yes, I know it doesn’t look like a big trip, but with traffic it’s not anyone’s idea of fun..

City of Industry is even further north…

It’s entirely possible that no matter what team goes out there, they won’t last unless LA proves they WANT an NFL team by building a stadium that’s actually IN Los Angeles. Land is scarce to non-existent in LA, so they might have to take a page from Dubai’s book.

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
SKOL!

by DCPurple on Dec 18, 2009 5:00 PM CST reply actions  

Trouble? Life is trouble! (Zorba the Greek) Traffic? LA is traffic! (Elgar).

Kindly reread the part about Orange County and the 100,000 letters. Those 100,000 people want season’s tickets, and they want them now.

Roski does not need many people to drive out from LA. There are 35 well-to-do people inside the county for every seat inside Roski’s stadium.

Roski is 71. He grew up in Southern California. He knows what he’s doing. (You don’t make the Forbes 400 each year just by accident.)

by Elgar on Dec 18, 2009 5:23 PM CST up reply actions  

This is still an old re-run.

We’ve seen it all before, Elgar. I get your point, but honestly, if I were Wilf (or any other NFL team owner being courted by the Dark Lord of LA), I’d have one simple question to ask:

What makes this time different from the last times?

1926-1926 = The Los Angeles Buccaneers
1946-1950 = The Los Angeles Dons
1946-1995 = The Los Angeles Rams
1960-1960 = The Los Angeles Chargers
1982-1994 = The Los Angeles Raiders

And of course, that’s just the NFL teams that have gone to LA and DIED. That doesn’t count the teams from the PCPFL, the XFL, the USFL, and the WFL. The UFL is also planning on sticking a team in LA next year, where they too will go the way of the Dodo.

What makes Roski think that this time will be different? That he can sell out a season or 10? Los Angeles is the dying albatross city of the NFL, best to stay away and any team which is considering going there, would do well to require an exit clause in the contract so that they have some cash to start fresh in anew city when LA finally rejects them

The Wikipedia has a more detailed series of obituaries on the topic, if one is actually that interested in LA’s Pro Football Legacy.

Finally, the only teams explicitly mentioned as being courted to move to LA to die this time around are the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jags, and the St. Louis Rams. The Bills are eyeballing Toronto and the Rams should know better than to return to the tar pit, so I’m thinking the Jags are prime meat for the West Coast Grinder. But what do I know :)

The official site for Roski’s stadium and current news is here.

As much as I enjoy watching episodes of ‘I Love Lucy’, I’ve seen them all before, in both black & white, as well as color. Lucille Ball is a lot more entertaining than Ed Roski.

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
SKOL!

by DCPurple on Dec 20, 2009 12:00 AM CST up reply actions  

It doesn't matter

DC Purple asks why it will be different this time in LA? Its the wrong question.

 It doesn’t matter
whether Roski is right or wrong about his business decision. He is moving forward with his business decision and an NFL team will exist in the LARGEST TV and POPULATION market available to the NFL.

It doesn’t matter whether a team has a faithful following in the NFL. Its what are you doing for me now. Teams in the NFL follow the money. I don’t blame them. I simply don’t trust an owner’s loyalty to a region.

It doesn’t matter whether you believe in Public financing of a stadium. The facts are that enough cities and states believe in it to support all the NFL franchises available. Minnesota has shown for years that they support publicly funding sports facilities. It will be no different this time.

I will state again for the umpteenth time. Its Simple. If the people of Minnesota want to keep the Vikes then they will build a Stadium. Sales Tax, Income tax surcharge, Hotel-Motel Surcharges , all are ways of funding the Stadium. Its not a question of why. Its a question of WANT. Minnesota. Do you want the Vikes? Then lets get out there and support the funding of a new stadium.

by lifelongvike on Dec 20, 2009 7:08 AM CST reply actions  

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