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Two Good to be True

What a glorious day it is, fellow Vikings fans.

I know that most of you are anxiously anticipating next Saturday's NFL Draft like a little kid waiting for a trip to Disney World. (WE'RE TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP!) I'm right there with you, but the draft is sort of like getting a birthday present that you can't open until your next birthday. Sure, we all get these shiny new packages in 11 days, but most of the time we have no idea what we're actually getting for at least a year. In many cases we have to wait even longer.

Now I don't know about you, but I absolutely despise waiting for stuff. Saying that I'm impatient is like saying Gary Busey is just a little crazy. I think microwave popcorn takes too long. If a web site doesn't immediately load, I psychotically click the Refresh button and scream at my computer like a Mike Ditka/Bobby Knight lovechild. If you ever heard me in my car while I'm stuck in gridlock traffic, you'd think I had Tourette's.

So I love days like today, when the NFL gives us real, tangible goodies to look forward to. As Gonzo mentioned earlier, the entire NFL schedule will be released tonight at 6:00 PM local time. And although all signs point to a Vikings Week 3 home opener, at least we'll have dates to circle on our calendars. After the constant stream of speculation we've had here for the past couple of months with free agency and mock drafts, we finally get something certain!

But as the ShamWow guy might say, "That hooker bit my tongue!" "But wait, there's more!"

Star-divide

I'm sure this won't come as too much of a surprise to you, but my two of my favorite things to do in the whole wide world are as follows:

  1. Maniacally root for the Minnesota Vikings.
  2. Maniacally hate the Green Bay Packers.

Imagine my glee when I stumbled upon this headline: "Paulus has Packers tryout."

No. F---ing. Way.

Paulus as in Greg Paulus? The prize douche in Coach K's always fully-stocked stable of douches at Duke? The one guy whose very name makes 99% of all college basketball fans scrunch up their faces up like someone just farted, even many Duke fans? The crybaby whose flopping made Vlade Divac look like an amateur? Yes, that Greg Paulus!

As an adamant Duke hater, the very thought of Paulus in a Packers uniform makes me giddy. Since Paulus was relegated to benchwarmer for the majority of his disappointing senior season at Duke and has absolutely no shot of going to the NBA, I figured my days of vehemently rooting against him were over.

But apparently the guy was also a stud quarterback in high school and all five of his brothers played or currently play D-I football. So maybe he should have just chosen football over hoops in the first place...but that's another story.

Of course, I'm sure it's a long shot that Paulus latches on to any NFL team, much less the Packers. At only 6'1" and 180 pounds, he's far from the prototypical NFL quarterback. Plus there's that whole thing that he didn't play football in college. Still, the idea that one day I could potentially have the Perfect Storm of Sports Hatred makes me smile.

The NFL schedule getting released AND the possibility of being able to kick up my hatred for the Packers another notch...Ice Cube was right. Today was a good day.

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As far as the schedule, I’m hoping for a Vikings Monday night at home while the Twins are there the Sat or Sun before. WOuld love to flky up there for a long weekend and catch both.

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk"

by VikesFaninNM on Apr 14, 2009 3:09 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

it's great to

see that the Pack has also realized Rodgers isn’t that great ;).

by skiumah06 on Apr 14, 2009 3:20 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Haha

Plus how fun would it be to see Paulus flail his arms and fall to the turf whenever a defensive end comes within 3 yards of him?

by ericj69 on Apr 14, 2009 3:24 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

My son has Tourette’s Syndrome, and I am deeply insulted and disappointed by what you just said.

I can outrun a mule deer.

by Gonzo2 on Apr 14, 2009 4:04 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

A sense of humor.

You’re doing it wrong.

by benjt82 on Apr 14, 2009 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Obviously, no offense meant to you or the condition itself

If you read most of my articles here, I’m obviously heavy on the “South Park” side of the humor spectrum. This means I’m probably going to offend just about everyone now and again, but hopefully it’s blatantly obvious that all my tasteless jokes are just that—only jokes. I made a couple diabetes jokes last week after the Cutler deal, and I’m sure that probably rubbed a couple people the wrong way too. But if I only wrote jokes that couldn’t possibly offend anyone ever, my articles would probably be really boring.

So I apologize if you were hurt by the joke, but I think it’s pretty clear it was meant to be more self-defacing than anything else. The only people I ever poke fun at and truly mean it are Packers and Bears fans.

by ericj69 on Apr 14, 2009 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

The timing of this is amazing. This guy I work with got bit on the lip by a spider, and just yesterday we all started calling him Shamwow.

In AP I trust

by FarvaForTheVikings on Apr 14, 2009 4:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Haha poor guy

And I think he’s only claiming it was a spider :)

by ericj69 on Apr 14, 2009 5:06 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Have to ask him

Have to ask him if Spider is her stage name. ha ha

by wesjt on Apr 15, 2009 12:03 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I Have To Say

Considering the professionalism I see in every sporting blog on this site, I was more than disappointed to see an entry like this, which actually dedicated an entire paragraph to calling a respectable athlete a douche. Perhaps it is my love of the Packers and Duke that’s got me riled in the first place, but as an aspiring journalist of sorts, I hope my work never sinks to that particular low. Honestly, I expect it out of the prototypical trolls that roam the ESPN boards or something, but never from one of the bloggers around here. Guess I just have another reason to not lurk around a Vikings blog.

Gravity Says: What?

by Gravity on Apr 16, 2009 2:41 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Perhaps it is my love of the Packers and Duke that’s got me riled in the first place…

Um, yes, that’s exactly why you got riled. That was pretty much the intention of that part of the article. It’s an opinion article from a fan—most sports blogs are. If I ever get hired at a place where journalistic integrity is a big issue, then I’ll lay off on poking fun like that. But until then, I’m going to enjoy giving shit to players and teams I don’t like.

Wow, who brought the PC Police this week?

by ericj69 on Apr 16, 2009 11:33 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

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