Two Good to be True

What a glorious day it is, fellow Vikings fans.

I know that most of you are anxiously anticipating next Saturday's NFL Draft like a little kid waiting for a trip to Disney World. (WE'RE TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP!) I'm right there with you, but the draft is sort of like getting a birthday present that you can't open until your next birthday. Sure, we all get these shiny new packages in 11 days, but most of the time we have no idea what we're actually getting for at least a year. In many cases we have to wait even longer.

Now I don't know about you, but I absolutely despise waiting for stuff. Saying that I'm impatient is like saying Gary Busey is just a little crazy. I think microwave popcorn takes too long. If a web site doesn't immediately load, I psychotically click the Refresh button and scream at my computer like a Mike Ditka/Bobby Knight lovechild. If you ever heard me in my car while I'm stuck in gridlock traffic, you'd think I had Tourette's.

So I love days like today, when the NFL gives us real, tangible goodies to look forward to. As Gonzo mentioned earlier, the entire NFL schedule will be released tonight at 6:00 PM local time. And although all signs point to a Vikings Week 3 home opener, at least we'll have dates to circle on our calendars. After the constant stream of speculation we've had here for the past couple of months with free agency and mock drafts, we finally get something certain!

But as the ShamWow guy might say, "That hooker bit my tongue!" "But wait, there's more!"

I'm sure this won't come as too much of a surprise to you, but my two of my favorite things to do in the whole wide world are as follows:

  1. Maniacally root for the Minnesota Vikings.
  2. Maniacally hate the Green Bay Packers.

Imagine my glee when I stumbled upon this headline: "Paulus has Packers tryout."

No. F---ing. Way.

Paulus as in Greg Paulus? The prize douche in Coach K's always fully-stocked stable of douches at Duke? The one guy whose very name makes 99% of all college basketball fans scrunch up their faces up like someone just farted, even many Duke fans? The crybaby whose flopping made Vlade Divac look like an amateur? Yes, that Greg Paulus!

As an adamant Duke hater, the very thought of Paulus in a Packers uniform makes me giddy. Since Paulus was relegated to benchwarmer for the majority of his disappointing senior season at Duke and has absolutely no shot of going to the NBA, I figured my days of vehemently rooting against him were over.

But apparently the guy was also a stud quarterback in high school and all five of his brothers played or currently play D-I football. So maybe he should have just chosen football over hoops in the first place...but that's another story.

Of course, I'm sure it's a long shot that Paulus latches on to any NFL team, much less the Packers. At only 6'1" and 180 pounds, he's far from the prototypical NFL quarterback. Plus there's that whole thing that he didn't play football in college. Still, the idea that one day I could potentially have the Perfect Storm of Sports Hatred makes me smile.

The NFL schedule getting released AND the possibility of being able to kick up my hatred for the Packers another notch...Ice Cube was right. Today was a good day.

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