Gen Patton Wants the Vikings to Win
by Ted Glover on Jan 20, 2010 5:53 PM CST
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I like Gen Patton. My grandfather was a company commander under Patton in North Africa and a battalion commander under Patton in Sicily during WWII. A little known fact is that Gen Patton was a big Vikings fan. What, it's TRUE. And I have the speech he will give to the Vikings on Sunday, right before they take the field. Speech is after the $#@&^^! jump. Oh, and it's PG-13, because Gen Patton was one of the five best cursers who ever lived
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won an NFC Championship by getting injured for his team. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard get injured for his team. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about the Vikings not advancing to the Super Bowl, wanting to end their season and take a head coaching job in Buffalo, is a lot of horse dung. Vikings traditionally love playing in the Super Bowl. All real Viking fans love the thought of appearance number five. When you were kids, you all admired the Purple People Eaters, Chuck Foreman, Fran Tarkenton, and Bud Grant. Vikings fans love a winner and will not tolerate a loss!! Vikings play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a Vikings player who lost and laughed. That’s why the Vikings have never lost and will never lose to the Saints in the playoffs. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to the Vikings.
Now, the Vikings are a football team. It blocks, runs, passes and tackles as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap...except for Brett Favre every once in awhile. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for ESPN don’t know anything more about real football than they do about fornicating.
We have the finest players and scheme, the best spirit and the best men in the NFL. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to block the bastards, we’re going to run them into the ground and score at will. We’re going to pound those lousy bastards for four quarters.
Now, some of you fans, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out during the game and lose faith. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. Nachos and Barbeque are the enemy. Wade into them!! Spill that cheesedip!! Take Tums for your belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's cheese quesadilla dip, you'll know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are going three and out. We’re not going three and out the whole game. Let the Fleuer do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose!!
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you how the Minnesota Vikings did in the 2009 NFC Championship, you won’t have to say, "Well, they played like shit in Louisiana."
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys down to Miami.
That’s all.
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*slow clap*
Freaking. Awesome.
The Daily Norseman - The greatest Vikings' site on the Internet!
by Christopher Gates on Jan 20, 2010 6:17 PM CST reply actions
Excellent speech SIR!
I’m saluting my laptop right now.
Top 5 swearers of all time:
1. RIchard Pryor
2. Patton
3. Gny. Sgt. Hartman
4. Eddie Murphy
5. Les Steckel
I'd add two entries
- George Carlin. The dude made practically made his career with a list of swear words.
- Bernie Mac. Best pronunciation of muthaf***a ever.
by Eric J. Thompson on Jan 20, 2010 9:57 PM CST up reply actions
George Carlin. The dude made practically made his career with a list of swear words.
I like your style, Eric. George Carlin is the most genius human being to ever walk this planet.
If you can't laugh at yourself... Who can you laugh at?
The Packers, that’s who.
-- The almighty Manimal
by TheViking83 on Jan 21, 2010 10:03 AM CST up reply actions
Isn't his real name..
Jerry F*ing Burns?
I loved KQ92’s old bedtime stories by Jerry F*ing Burns!
Classic
Still laughing.
We all know that art is not the truth, art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.--Picasso
I really meant Burns not Steckel
Steckel just made ME want to swear some weeks. Maybe thats why I confused the two.
Honestly
For some reason I am less scared of the Saints than I am the Cowboys. Call it foolish..but Chilly is just pissed off and it is translating to the team. SKOL
by Jepp The Viking on Jan 20, 2010 7:37 PM CST reply actions
That was...
awesome
especially this:
The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for ESPN don’t know anything more about real football than they do about fornicating.
Never assume skill at bouncing a ball makes you smarter than the guy who built the court.
When there's a WILL there's a WAY
Fine speech, General!
Fine speech.
Oh, and Jepp, I’m with you. I really can’t put a finger on it either as to why I’m less concerned about this game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking anything away from the Saints, they are an amazing team….. I just feel more confident in a win this week than I did last.
I just signed up for 4 years
I could picture you on the roof of a truck shooting you pistol
at the enemy planes!
A bird in the hand is worth about 10.99 at KFC and makes me lick my chops
Yummy!!!!!
An Amazing Post!
I came here from silverandblackpride to see how the fans of the championship teams are doing and I AM IMPRESSED. The opening of “Patton” is one of my favorite movie moments and reading this just makes me want to pop in the DVD and sink in for the next three hours in the story of a true (though, at times, controversial) American hero. Mostly, it makes me want to root for the Vikings a little more. I’ve been a Raiders and NFL fan for near 40 years. (Yeah, I’m that old.) I go back far enough to remember the Joe Kapp Vikings teams. (Kapp is a local legend having QB’d the Cal Bears to the Rose Bowl and later becoming their head coach, including during the greatest play (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYROBfMPCso&NR=1) in College Football history. I have to admit I’m rooting for the Saints because I think their city and their fans are more in need of a lift than Minnesota, but seeing the passion of you guys makes me feel like it doesn’t matter who wins this weekend. Either way, I can root for a great set of fans.
maybe the *city* of NO needs it more...
…but the long suffering, oft-heartbroken fans of MIN definitely need it more!
"the following statement is true:
the preceding statement was false" - george carlin
by BranFavrenton on Jan 21, 2010 7:57 AM CST up reply actions
I think you’ll find that both the Vikings and Saints fans are VERY classy.
This has been one of the best weeks on the blogs all year (as long as you ignore the fans of a team recently defeated by the Vikings – I’m avoiding using the team name to keep them out of this thread).
Either of these teams are worth rooting for – both have great backstories and have had great seasons.
As a fan of the NFL, you can’t go wrong with the NFC Championship game this weekend.
But I hope the Vikings win. SKOL!
I BELIEVE...
by ArizonaVikingsFan on Jan 21, 2010 11:13 AM CST up reply actions
Patton is the Man!
He was a hero and anti-hero, and admired by many/villified by more than a few too…Although he was way before my/our time, he still is a figure that I can look up to as one that got it done when it needed to be done…
This is exactly what our Vikings need to do over the next two games….They have the talent the desire, the will, and the opportunity…They need to grab it in their hands and run/throw like hell to absolutely dominate as much as possible…
Knowing the teams we face/likely will face, this will not be an easy task…But what in life worth doing is easy? Not much from my perspective…Delay of gratification (and we have had almost 50 years of THAT) is not necessarily a bad thing, it makes attaining the goal that much sweeter and worthwhile…
Knowing what we face, knowing what we are made of, desire and will translate into excellent and inspired play on the battlefield…This Sunday it is the Dome in NO….after Miami…Focus, feed on that desire, excel, and win….They can do it, and there is a whole bunch of us right there with them supporting their effort! GO VIKINGS!
Good Post….Let’s Roll!
I would rather be IN the Arena than watching from the stands...That is my life!
* Read Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" if you need further explanation...
by vikingfanfrom afar on Jan 21, 2010 2:28 AM CST reply actions
Grime....
Note the paragraphs lol! : )
I would rather be IN the Arena than watching from the stands...That is my life!
* Read Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" if you need further explanation...
by vikingfanfrom afar on Jan 21, 2010 2:29 AM CST up reply actions
Did the General tell you to use Paragraphs?
That is a great post. Got me riled up to take no prisoners in New Orleans. No matter how much they dress up in party outfits.
Winning is not everything but it sure feels like it sometimes
by lifelongvike on Jan 21, 2010 6:26 AM CST up reply actions
Damn!
Now I’m all fired up and don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until well after the game!
27 years U.S. Army
I served for 27 years in the U.S. Army, 1968-1995!
My father served in the U.S. Army from 1936 to 1974! He served with General George S. Patton in Africa, Sicily, and Europe, during WWII. Also in the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.
My grandfather was a Dough-boy, in “The War to End all Wars”, commonly referred to as WWI.
My great grandfather was in the U.S. Infantry during the Indian War in the western United States, and in the Spanish-American war in the Philippines.
My great great grandfather served with the Minnesota 1st Infantry Regiment in the “War Between the States”, from 1st Bull Run through Gettysburg.
Sunday the Vikings will take no prisoners, we will pile it on the Saints, until the last whistle blows, and we will walk off the field with not just a victory, we will walk off the field as NFC Champions.
I truly pity the AFC Team that is going to face the Minnesota Vikings, in the Super Bowl Game.
“In Brett Favre We Trust”, he is on a mission from the" ALMIGHTY", so it is pre-ordained that the Vikings will go on to Victory!
Platoon Sergeant , U.S. Army, Retired
Everyone we meet in life give us happiness, some by their arrival, others by their departure!
salute to you and your most impressive military family tree!
…and i was just about to brag about my paltry 3 years of service in Germany…
"the following statement is true:
the preceding statement was false" - george carlin
by BranFavrenton on Jan 21, 2010 8:02 AM CST up reply actions
Ten Hut !!!
You want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. Sorry wrong movie
Patton
My Dad served in the Third Army in the last months of the war, and heard Patton speak. One of my neighbors growing up served the duration of the war, including Patton’s North African and Sicilian campaigns, and heard several Patton speeches, including his “apology” for slapping a soldier in Sicily. He also received a Silver Star from Patton; I’ve seen the photo from the local newpaper.
He and my Dad said two things regarding the real Patton as compared to George C. Scott’s performance in the film “Patton”: the real life Patton did not sound anything like George C. Scott, and the real life Patton swore a lot more frequently and pungently than did George C. Scott in the film’s awesome opening scene. They also said Patton did not spend as much time giving speeches to his men as the film suggests.
In addition, the film’s opening speech was cobbled together from snippets of various Patton speeches, interviews, and letters, and did not recreate any one speech Patton actually gave.
Despite these issues, my Dad and his fellow vets said George C. Scott’s speech gave a pretty good idea of what the real Patton believed and said to his troops.
Oh, skol Vikings!
/gjallerhorn blowing
by Midnight Rambler on Jan 21, 2010 9:36 AM CST reply actions
True story about my Grandpa and Patton:
Told to me by Grandma after he passed away. Story was relayed to her by either a platoon leader or company commander in my Grandpa’s battalion:
In Sicily, Patton was out assessing the tactical situation among his units on the push to Messina, and he got to my Grandpa’s unit. My grandpa was the battalion commander, so he takes Patton along the front in his area of responsibility and briefs Patton on his plan to capture whatever objective they were getting ready to attack. Now Patton was a stickler for impeccable uniform appearance (unless he could stick something outlandish on his, like his pearl gripped .45 pistols). So the visit is over and Grandpa is escorting Patton to his jeep, and Patton looks at him and says "Colonel, I see you wear your sidearm on your left hip. What do Army regulations say about where you wear your revolver?"
"Army Regulations say a sidearm holster needs to be worn on the right hip, sir."
"Then explain to me why you wear your pistol on the left hip."
"Well sir, I’m left handed, and I feel that at a critical moment, it could be the difference between life or death."
Patton nodded and said "I’ll tell you what, Colonel. We’re going to have a draw. My aide will be the judge. If I outdraw you, you put the holster on the right hip, where the Army says you wear it. If you outdraw me, you can wear that pistol any goddamn-where you like. Understood?"
"Yes, sir."
So my Grandpa and Gen Patton unloaded their pistols (Grandpa his service issue .45, Patton his pearl handled pistol), re-holstered them, and stood about 10 feet apart. At the signal, they drew, and my Grandpa won. He was kind of nervous as to what would happen next. So Patton walks up to him with a smile on his face and says
"By God, Colonel, you wear that goddamn pistol anywhere you want. Now go murder those German bastards by the thousands."
And with that, Gen Patton drove off to the next unit, and the pistol remained on my Grandpa’s left hip for the rest of the war.
"We're used to Favre-a-palooza now. We're engulfed in Favre-a-palooza. It's not even Favre-a-palooza anymore. He's family now."
--Vikings TE Visanthe Shiancoe, on Brett Favre
Cool story ,, I believe it
Its experiences like that. That are not in books but spoke of from people who lived it more believable.
And in our some what peaceful generation we are going to say we saw the vikes go to the super bowl and win it.
Go Vikes
I was compelled to read more about Patton -
I found out that he competed in the 1912 Summer Olympics – here’s a great quote that works for our sports interest:
…the high spirit of sportsmanship and generosity manifested throughout speaks volumes for the character of the officers of the present day. There was not a single incident of a protest or any unsportsmanlike quibbling or fighting for points which I regret to say marred some of the other civilian competitions at the Olympic Games. Each man did his best and took what fortune sent them like a true soldier, and at the end we all felt more like good friends and comrades than rivals in a severe competition, yet this spirit of friendship in no manner detracted from the zeal with which all strove for success.
I BELIEVE...
by ArizonaVikingsFan on Jan 21, 2010 11:26 AM CST reply actions
All fired up today and no where to go haha
We’re going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re gonna go through him like crap through a goose!!
Im still laughing awesome …just saw the movie a couple weeks ago with my two teenage sons …..they said dang dad that guy is just like grandpa……gramps was a 25 year now retired Marine Core Captain …fought three wars and caught two slugs ..one in the leg and other in the arm ,,, I would be cursing too!!!
Go Vikings and run up the score ………………………
Good one!
Bronco fan here, but rooting for the Vikings (born in Willmar, MN – lots of relatives there). As a Bronco fan, I know what it’s like to be 0-4 in the SB, and would like nothing better than to see the Vikings get a win this year. That was a great post – Patton was an inspiration. There was a fair amount of sentiment among Broncos fans after the three beat downs in the SB in the 80’s -90’s that we shouldn’t try again, but you can’t win if you don’t try. Vikings remind me a lot of the Broncos 97-98 teams – great QB and RB and O line and receivers (Rod Smith and Ed McAffrey) but this year’s Vikings have a much better defense. Good luck on sunday! (Favre looks great in purple!)
War is behavior with its roots in the primal sea - eat whatever you touch, or it will eat you. John Fowles
Willmar, huh?
I grew up in Montevideo… Kandi Mall bro!
I BELIEVE...
by ArizonaVikingsFan on Jan 21, 2010 3:33 PM CST up reply actions
Willmar, yes
But we moved away when I was six (1952) so I know Kandiyohi County, but not Kandi Mall. BTW, we went from Minnesota to Arizona (Tucson) and then to Colorado, where I remain. Thinking about a return move to Arizona – tired of cold winters.
War is behavior with its roots in the primal sea - eat whatever you touch, or it will eat you. John Fowles
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