The world, the NFL and the Minnesota Vikings have done everything possible to try and crush BRETT'S SUPER HUMAN will to play.
It was I who boldly predicted that the 2010 Vikings would provide more drama per week than any other Viking team throughout history. Except for maybe the VIKING PARTY BOAT CRUISE-era team. Now *that* was juicy stuff. Other NFC teams can only hope to attain the level of drama that the 2010 Vikings have attained. Seriously. When was the last time you saw a story about someone from an NFC North team on OMG!.com, smokingnews.com, etc.?
Things that are breaking BRETT this season -
Jenn Sterger - doesn't know the meaning of the word "discretion". Then again, apparently BRETT does not either. I mean what sort of grown-a$$ man texts a picture of his junk to a woman he doesn't know? I mean seriously....is BRETT *that* desperate?
Deanna Favre - bless her for winning a fight vs. CANCER. But.......that woman looks like she has a mean side. A vicious mean side. A side you definitely don't want to be on. And what better to bring out that MEAN SIDE than having your husband text pictures of his junk to a chick that looks like a younger, hotter version of yourself? One can only imagine what things are like for BRETT when he goes home at night. Instead of being treated like the GREATEST GUNSLINGER QB of all time, he's probably forced to fix himself something to eat, pick up after himself and the ghost of BUD GRANT will testify that BRETT surely is not getting any of that TASTY.
Randy Moss - why you gotta go and act like that? Didn't your mama teach you any sense? I have seen young children (several times) and even a dog (once) show more social awareness than MR. RANDY MOSS has shown this season.
Brad Childress - You heard it hear first - Childress *hates* BRETT with a passion. With a fury. Many of you don't understand this, I know. Why would Childress *hate* the man who QB'ed his team to the NFC championship last season? Because Childress is a MAN-CHILD. He looks at BRETT and sees what he can never be. What he can never achieve on his own. The greatness of BRETT magnifies Chilly's weaknesses ten-fold, one hundred-fold. He is NOTHING without BRETT and he knows it. From that wellspring flows the essence of Chilly's pure HATRED for BRETT. And Brett knows all about it. He abides by it and goes about his business but the burden is a heavy one, even for BRETT.
The NFL - couldn't they have had Jenn Sterger quietly deported by now? Just throw her on a plane to someplace sunny and tropical. Someplace with a nice beach-side resort, all expenses paid and a couple of burly NFL security specialists to make sure she stays at the resort? I'm thinking maybe the French Riviera. And some down on his luck uber-handsome FRENCH guy with long flowing locks and a sexy accent could be paid off to seduce MS. STERGER and propose marriage to her. She would of course accept the proposal after she learned that the FRENCH man was descended from ROYALTY (not really, just part of the NFL's ploy). And the NFL would pay to set them up in a nice seaside villa and put a tidy little nest egg in the bank for them. And then POOF! Nobody ever hears from Jenn Sterger again and she lives a life of tranquility with her husband JACQUES.
And finally, who is breaking BRETT more than anyone else?
PACKERS! - They sit atop the NFC NORTH with their FANCY 5-3 record acting as if they are god's gift to the NFL. Who BUILT that team? BRETT BUILT THAT TEAM. Lombardi? HAH! Ancient history. Without BRETT there are no Packers. Without BRETT that team would have WITHERED and DIED by now and the franchise would have been relocated and would now be known as the L.A. FIRE.
A great man once said "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro". Well BRETT is already an ALL PRO and they just don't come any weirder than Chilly. Or Ziggy for that matter.
So. Where does that leave the 2010 Minnesota Vikings? That is the question I pose to you, (daily) NORSEMEN.