"Hey y'all, I'm back with the Vikings for another shot at the Super Bowl with my boys. But enough about me--did you guys hear that Eric from Daily Norseman is getting married this weekend?!"
So Brett Favre is back at just about the same time he was last year, which is what we at Daily Norseman have been saying all along. (Except for that whole "he's not coming back" scare of course.) Ye Olde Gunslinger and The Beloved Purple are still on for year two. Say what you will about #4 holding the team hostage, being a me-first prima donna, allegedly saying his coach has "no clue"...all of it is probably true to some degree. But the bottom line is that 95% of Vikings fans are happy that the marriage is lasting longer than one year.
Speaking of marriages I hope to last longer than one year, guess what I'm doing this weekend? Yep, yours truly is gettin' hitched on Saturday right here in Minneapolis. Like I commented when the Favre story first broke, I'm just glad Favre did it a few days before my big day so he didn't steal my thunder. I would have hated to have people sneaking out of my ceremony and reception to watch chopper coverage of Favre's private jet and SUV traveling through the Twin Cities.
Since I'll be on hiatus from the site until the end of August for my wedding and honeymoon, I figured I'd go out in style by breaking down how my pending nuptials are both similar and different to the alliance between Favre and the Vikes:
How they fit together: The Gunslingin' Grandpa and the Vikings are a wonderful fit for each other, especially when you look at what the alternative would have been. Same with my fiancée and I, except Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels are still better options than my exes!
Supporting cast: Favre wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all the great talent around him in Minnesota. I wouldn't be getting married without all the great guys standing up for me on Saturday. I have my very own Adrian Petersons, Sidney Rices, Steve Hutchinsons, Ryan Longwells, and Jared Allens, even if a few of them cheer for the wrong NFC North teams. (See?! Similarities! And you thought this was a horrible idea for an article! Wait...you still do? Don't worry, I won't go on too much longer.)
Media manipulation: Brett is the all-time king of this category, hands down. He's so far ahead of everyone else on this list that I'm pretty sure he also took second through sixth place. No matter what Favre does or says, he has the media eating out of his hand every step of the way. However, you are reading a media article where I'm flimsily comparing my wedding to a situation with my favorite team...so, um, BOOM! MANIPULATION POINTS FOR ME!
Respect for those in charge: This is where Brett's situation differs from mine. It's fairly apparent that Favre doesn't hold Brad Childress in the highest regard. I couldn't respect my parents and future in-laws more. While Favre is a wishy-washy gun for hire with no real loyalties, our parents have been married for a combined total of over seventy years. (Saturday also happens to be my parents' 34th anniversary...Brett didn't steal my thunder, but I sort of stole theirs. Sorry Mom and Dad!)
Crying: Brett Favre is a crier during emotional speeches. I really hope I differ from him here too!
Well it's time for me to go pick up my tux and do 500 other last-minute wedding tasks...keep the site warm for me while I'm away, and I'll see you at the end of the month. I know I'll be keeping warm on my honeymoon in Jamaica! What part of Jamaica, you ask?
RIGHT NEAR DA BEACH...BOYYEEEEE!