FanPost

All that, and a bottle of Jagermeister

Found this on the Pioneer Press this morning and it made me laugh so I thought I would share it with you guys.  I couldn't figure out how to link to the article so I just copied and pasted it. (No intention of plagerism just lack of knowledge sorry guys)

SKOAL and ENJOY

Vikings' Brett Favre: All that, and a bottle of Jagermeister Pioneer Press
Updated: 09/09/2010 10:44:27 AM CDT


Lauren Anderson, left and Katy McEwen of the Brave New Workshop Comedy Theater were photographed at the theater in Minneapolis on Tuesday September 7, 2010. (Pioneer Press: Richard Marshall)

 

 

Lauren Anderson, top and Katy McEwen of the Brave New Workshop Comedy Theater were photographed at the theater in Minneapolis on Tuesday September 7, 2010. (Pioneer Press: Richard Marshall) Relate)

Editor's note: Katy McEwen is the associate artistic director and Lauren Anderson a resident actor/writer for the Brave New Workshop Comedy Theatre. For more than 50 years, the little storefront theater in Minneapolis has been performing satirical sketch comedy that is original, topical — and, yes, freakin' funny. The Brave New Workshop will perform 'Brett Favre's Christmas Spectacular II: The Second Coming' from Nov. 12 through Jan. 30. For information on that show or the current one ('Spilling Me Softly; or Once the Gulf Goes Black, It Never Goes Back'), call 612-332-6620 or go to bravenewworkshop.org.

 

By Katy McEwen

 

 

and Lauren Anderson

Special to the Pioneer Press

As two ladies who find themselves on the outskirts looking into the Vikings' preseason Brett Favre feeding frenzy, we have had occasion to ask ourselves, "Hey, what's the deal?" Now, we are fully in support of the whole crazed Minnesota fan thing — Go Vikes! Go Twins! Go ... Wolves? (Sigh.) So we get the appeal of Favre the quarterback. We're gonna ride his rotting corpse like a luge sled all the way to the Super Bowl. But Favre the man? Well, he seems to have risen in Minnesota status beyond sports great to near Lady Gaga level. (You should see him rock a pair of 11-inch stilettos and a leotard made of fishing tackle.)

Think we're overstating? Let's just remember hours of news coverage devoted to a bucket. "What's in the bucket?" "Did you see the bucket?" "Oh,sweet Purple Jesus, I would sell my first-born

 

child to be a fly on the rim of that freakin' bucket!" Personally, we think it's where

 

he keeps his spare parts — you know, stuff that was left over after the surgery; things that just randomly fall out of his jersey and need to be reattached with sports tape; tendons.

This is the kind of insanity previously reserved for a 13-year-old girls' pajama party, but instead of your best friend from home ec, it's your dad; and instead of a Go-Gos video, he's watching an SUV drive slowly from St. Cloud to Vikings headquarters. "OMG, Stan! Are you watching this? They're passing the outlet mall! I was just there with my wife buying slipcovers! Stars ARE just like us! I love him so much! Let's go buy some Wrangler jeans after this, 'kay? 'Kay." Giggle. Fart. Giggle.

Favre is kind of like that super-hot girl you invite to your party even though you're pretty sure she won't come, but the possibility that she'll be there will make more people come, and also she's old enough to buy beer. Only she shows up late and she doesn't have any beer, and then she throws five interceptions and her arm falls off. This we understand. This is basic high school girl drama. We've all had crushes on the quarterback who didn't know we existed, even though we changed our schedule to be in all his classes and had a locker right next to his and hid naked in the trunk of his Monte Carlo that one time. Wait, what were we talking about?

 

 

The point is, why should a man-crush be any different? I'm sure it has all the same ups and downs, tears and joy, ice cream and restraining orders. So maybe we should take it easy on our dads, our husbands, our boyfriends, anyone who is in the throes of full-blown Favre-steria right now. Instead of telling him to just get over it already, have some compassion. Show up at his house with a six-pack of Premiums and watch that old video of Super Bowl XXXI. Get out the Ouija board and ask it, "Who's cuter, Favre or Tom Brady?" If all else fails — MAKEOVERS!!!!

As with all crushes, Minnesota's obsession with Favre will eventually fade — probably around the holidays when we'll all greet each other with happy refrains of "Merry Choke-mas" and "Chokey New Year!" And you'll get your loved ones back for a month or so until their fancy turns once again to thoughts of sideburns and shin guards. And good for you, Brett Favre; you know the ancient, well-guarded secret to being desired by everyone. It's just like your mom always said, "Boys only want you if you play hard to get. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk without having to go to training camp?" But a word of warning, Brett, now that you showed up to the party, you better bring that Jägermeister you promised. Oh, and you have to show us your boobs.

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a community, that view is no less important.

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