Daily Norseman readers, I need your help.
I'm slated to write my Week 5 preview on Friday, but it's tough to find an entertaining theme when your team is going nowhere at 0-4. Every time I thought I had a decent angle I just ended up making a stupid joke to myself about it. For instance, I wanted to go in depth on ways the Vikings could improve their passing attack. But before I even finished the thought I was already mumbling to myself about how "attack" is way too strong of a word for whatever we've done so far. Then I thought I could search for some positive statistics that might indicate a turnaround on the horizon for Minnesota; my next thought was how I'd probably have a better chance at finding Bigfoot. So I decided that rather than fight the urge of making fun of my favorite team's horrendous start, I should embrace it.
This is where you guys come in.
In the comments section below, leave any and all jokes about the Vikings you can think of. I'll include the best of them in my preview article on Friday. The more relevant to this season's woes, the better chance you'll have of making the cut. The old go-to jokes like "When I die, I want the Vikings to be my pall bearers so they can let me down one last time" will be appreciated, but probably avoided. Be original. Be ruthless. But most importantly, be funny.
I'd also like you guys to give us the best Viking nicknames you can think of, like Donovan McNightmare or Donovan McNeverShouldSeeTheFieldAgain or Donovan McNailedTheTurfWithAnotherPass. Got an idea of what Bernard Berrian's initials should really stand for, like "Bawling Bobbler"? Let us know. Do you think Phil Loadholt's last name comes from the Latin phrase meaning "to illegally hold"? Drop us a line. Heard a particularly good zinger from a Packer fan you know (that unlike most Green Bay fans, can actually form a full sentence)? Tell us the story here.
Is this an incredibly lazy way to write an article? You bet your ass it is. Will this be a fun temporary distraction from wallowing in our own misery about a horribly disappointing first quarter of the season? Let's hope so!