Keeping Spirits Bright: Caption Contest Winners, Track 2 Topic
by Skol Girl on Nov 30, 2011 3:23 PM CST
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The number of Minnesota Vikings players on injured reserve is piling up, the team is struggling to sell-out Sunday's game, and Minneapolis is "back" in stadium talks with the Vikings. If there was ever a fan base in need of a good laugh and a reason to smile, it's the Vikings' fans.
Lucky for you, you're reading the Daily Norseman, we have more fun with bad material than other sites have with teams who have winning records. Sadly, I don't know if that says more about our talent or the material we have to work with.
When I revealed the Track 1 winner for the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011, several readers expressed interest in both flexing their skills choosing music for another topic and for a caption contest. Since DN aims to give the people what they want, on Monday I gave you a picture sans caption so you could amuse and delight us. We received several submissions for our caption contest for the picture of Percy Harvin's 104-yard kick return. And the winner is...
C'mon, you didn't really think I'd tell you before the jump.
I presented the submissions to my fellow DN writers and, while there were some universal favorites, there was enough debate to warrant awarding a few runner-up selections. Leave it to those guys to not make the task of choosing a winner any easier. And imagine them not loving the submission from Beserker, "Surely if I take this one to the house Skol Girl will follow ME around at training camp…get off me man, you’re ruining my chances here!" as much as I did. Boggles the mind.
Here are the more unanimous favorites.
In fourth place we have a tie between Grime's submission "I gotta pee!" and CCNorseman's "I’m about to take this 104 yards, bitches…wait, how far am I in the endzone? 7 yards? Ok, doing some math here…carry the 1….DAMNIT, I won’t reach the other endzone."
In third place is Landonio with, "Swiss Army knife...now comes with foldout Percy Harvin!"
Holding down second place is Purpledork's funny salute to what could have been going through Percy Harvin's mind as he raced down the field, "I’m gonna make Hester look so bad. My form is perfect—I’m like Jerry Rice. Feel that stride, so fluid and fast. I’ve got the stride of a gazelle: a beautiful, beautiful gazelle person. My body is achieving a perfect symmetry right now. Its that long, lean muscle I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I should have popped my shirt off first…god-dammit, I really should have popped that shirt off. I wonder if there are any women watching from the sidelines."
And, in first place your caption contest winner is DM_Purp with, "You mean to tell me that this doesn’t even get me a single fantasy point!?"
Congratulations DM_Purp, on behalf of the Daily Norseman I award you this Burger King crown that I reapproppriated from Alittlemore_cowbell (had it for winning Track 1 of the Ultimate Misery Mix) and this vintage 1987 Chuck-E-Cheese token. Use them wisely. And quickly because I'm planning to reuse them for the next winner.
Ah, and that brings us to our topic for Track 2 of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011. Like Percy Harvin, there have been a few other superstar players (Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen come immediately to mind) and they get a bit overshadowed in the crap fest that is the Vikings 2011 season. Well, here's your chance to select a musical ode to the players who keep amazing us and giving us a reason to watch despite the team's record.
I'm going to kick the topic off with a song that I have been waiting to use for a long time. Not only do I think it applies to players like Harvin, Peterson, and Allen (they work out), but it gives me a chance to make good on a threat I made to our own Eric J. Thompson to have more images of scantily clad men on the site--you know, just to even things up because Eric posts pics of cheerleaders.
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Wigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle yeah
Well done SG. My wife will appreciate your effort—she’s about as big of a fan of my Gratuitous Picture of the Week as you are. :)
Proud contributor to Daily Norseman and SB Nation Minnesota.
Follow @eric_j_thompson
by Eric J. Thompson on Nov 30, 2011 3:32 PM CST reply actions
Anyone who gets your subject heading...
Has clearly listened to the song to the end. And still, gross. Images that I can’t unsee…etched for eternity. Thanks Skol Girl…thanks. :P
SKOL Vikings!
Oh, you're welcome guys, you're welcome ;-)
Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Still
can’t watch the entire video. At least Eric justs post a picture. This is a music video.
by PurplePrideforLife! on Nov 30, 2011 3:34 PM CST reply actions
I'm not sure it's music or a video...
My eyes left and haven’t come back.
By the way it’s nice to know pee and poop jokes still have a place in today’s fast paced humor.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
Eric has posted pictures just about every week...
I’ve posted one scantily clad video, so far, over the course of the entire season. And you’re whining like little girls. Gee, thought you guys were tougher than that.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
See it's because we're tough that we can whine
If we were little girly men we wouldn’t have the confidence in ourselves to whine like babies. Um I mean small immature manly men. Honestly though we’d complain if Eric put that up too. Couldn’t you find a pic of the Hof or something?
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
The Hof is past it.
Would you have preferred Chuck Norris?
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Chuck Norris really?
Please the Hof was in Sponge Bob what on earth does Chuck have that can top that.. This may however be colored by the fact that I spent a lot of my formative years in Germany… By the way the Hof is an AMAZING singer too!!! I do however like the Chuck Norris WoW commercial.. Now they just need to put Kluwe on one.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
Hells yeah they need to put Kluwe on a WoW commercial.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Have fun with the crown DM_Purp
"Let's go our there, and stick our fists through their ribcages, rip our their hearts, eat them, and shit them back out on the field!!" - Blue Mountain State
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Nov 30, 2011 4:12 PM CST reply actions
Wait
She said she needed to give those back next week? I just sold both on Ebay. Oops
White Horn Gold Pants
Dang it.
What, you think DN is made of money? :D
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Shoot, you'd be lucky if DN could afford bathtub gin.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
would you like an apple pie with thaa-aat....
would you like an apple pie with thaa-aat…..
ding! fries are done
ding! fries are done
ding! fries are done
ding! fries are done
White Horn Gold Pants
Wow DM you look more intelligent than I thought...
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
I'm down for a top 3 place! Good job to DM_Purp.
Now I have to step my game up…
Track Topic 2 selection:
“99 Problems” by Jay-Z (with a little modification :P)
Doesn’t this just sum up our year?
“We got 99 problems but AD ain’t one
If you don’t have a ‘back
I feel bad for you son
We got 99 problems but AD ain’t one”
Of course, Jared Allen and Percy and a couple of other guys could fill in that blank as well, but I went with AP…we have so many problems. But it isn’t Adrian Peterson! That’s why I still watch… :P
"Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts." - Jared Allen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etl9kkIGaHo
"Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts." - Jared Allen
Nice musical choice.
I think Percy Harvin My Fav! used that one for the caption contest—good song.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Bah! I didn't see that! Should I re-submit a different song? I totally can,
I don’t want to take away from Percy Harvin My Fav! at all.
"Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts." - Jared Allen
You can if you want to.
We’re pretty laid back, but if you two want to have a cage fight over it, that’s okay.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Nah that's okay, he was there first!
I’ll think of something else… :D
"Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts." - Jared Allen
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...
But hey, thanks for the 4th place nod, and congrats to DM_Purp!
SKOL Vikings!
LOL
Oh, the collective whining makes me giggle. What would I do without you guys?
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Just played it for my wife...
and she laughed uncontrollably, so I guess there’s that.
SKOL Vikings!
I find it impossible to watch that video and not laugh :)
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Well in a slightly lighter note...
We would’ve had another to injured reserve if we still had him… Sidney Rice just went on it. I was in favor of keeping him at first but it seems the “injury prone” label might be valid for him. It’s too bad for him.
That's too bad.
I hope he recovers soon.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
I'll be honest, I'm going to probably post a Metallica song for every week
“Hero of the Day” – Metallica
White Horn Gold Pants
Nothin' wrong with playing a favorite.
Nice choice.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
^This, in regards to the JA and Percy's on the team that step it up
If I’m going to post a song that more accurately depicts the Vikings season would be Metallica – ‘My Friend of Misery" or considering these week’s visit to the IR…..“Broken, Beat, and Scarred”
White Horn Gold Pants
What dont kill ya
Make ya more strong
by PURPpplEATER on Dec 1, 2011 12:52 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
I could only pick one song for AD
I’m Awesome by Spose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYws8biwOYc
Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, it's just that your's is stupid.
And, you've done it again.
Stuck in my head.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
:D
Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, it's just that your's is stupid.
by HolySchnikes on Nov 30, 2011 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
I'll throw this one in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBAvduGopaU
“Even through the darkest days,
This fire burns. . .always.”
SBNation Minnesota - For the greatest sports fans in the world.
The Daily Norseman - The greatest Vikings' site on the Internet!
"Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts." - Henry Rollins
Follow @DailyNorsemanSB
Follow @SBNMinnesota
by Christopher Gates on Nov 30, 2011 11:22 PM CST reply actions
It's things like this...
That make me a little bit scared of you.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Awwwww, come on
I’m not scary.
I don’t think, anyway.
SBNation Minnesota - For the greatest sports fans in the world.
The Daily Norseman - The greatest Vikings' site on the Internet!
"Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts." - Henry Rollins
Follow @DailyNorsemanSB
Follow @SBNMinnesota
by Christopher Gates on Dec 1, 2011 8:44 AM CST up reply actions
I know you're not :)
Just teasing. Pity you’re not going to be in Minnesota for a game this season and a DN party. The team won last time you were in town.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Yep, they sure did
Of course, the next week the roof caved in, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t have anything to do with that.
Pretty sure, anyway.
SBNation Minnesota - For the greatest sports fans in the world.
The Daily Norseman - The greatest Vikings' site on the Internet!
"Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts." - Henry Rollins
Follow @DailyNorsemanSB
Follow @SBNMinnesota
by Christopher Gates on Dec 1, 2011 11:50 AM CST up reply actions
The Dome just couldn't go on without you...
And pitched the mother of all hissy fits.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Didn't know about the contest
Mine would have been a video clip from Star Wars IV
“Almost there”.. “Stay on target” “:Almost there” “Stay on target” “Its away” “Didn’t go in”
And there's a really good chance you would have won.
I love Star Wars IV-VI. The other ones suck.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
I don't get what went wrong with Episodes I-III
Lucas had good actors, but the movies were blah. Almost like he did better work when he didn’t have the technology to do everything he wanted to do. Give me Mark Hamil, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher—they were the best.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
I liked III; outside of the some overall story details that are nice, I and II should be blown up and erased from everyone's memories.
White Horn Gold Pants
II is redeemable
Simply because Yoda threw down at the end.
SBNation Minnesota - For the greatest sports fans in the world.
The Daily Norseman - The greatest Vikings' site on the Internet!
"Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts." - Henry Rollins
Follow @DailyNorsemanSB
Follow @SBNMinnesota
by Christopher Gates on Dec 1, 2011 5:12 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah, the Yoda throw down was the only redeeming thing.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Similarly...
Episode I’s only redeemable scene is the Darth Maul vs Obi/Qui-Gon duel at the end. We might as well use that scene, and the Yoda vs Dooku scene in II as intro scenes into Episode III and forget the rest of those two movies.
SKOL Vikings!
It probably would have helped
If they didn’t write Anakin to be such a little bitch and had someone who looked older than Natalie Portman play Padme in 2 and 3
Aniken was a whiney little tosser but then his son Luke was the same dang thing
The only thing that saved the original was that Han Solo was there to provide a counter to Lukes complete wussiness. In 1-3 you didn’t have that so you just got a full does of emo in every shot with out the fun recklessness that was portrayed by Ford so well.
When Luke got his hand lopped off I was cheering…
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
What are you talking about they only made 3 Star Wars Movies?
Also, for you parents, remember it’s never to early to tell your kids about Star Wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCjMGOvMghY
And Han shot first!
by Simply_Greatness on Dec 1, 2011 8:12 PM CST up reply actions
I love it!
But where are the mothers? This is too important to be left up to just one parent.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
The Correct Order of Viewing for children is:
Episode IV – V – VI – I – II – III. And if you want to get technical, there’s another trilogy in there that nobody discusses, but the order would be: IV – V – III
SKOL Vikings!
Purpledork
Diggin’ the It’s Always Sunny reference..not sure if the DN writers caught that..but made me laugh..my form is perfect. That’s NOT Donovan McNabb bro!
by PURPpplEATER on Dec 1, 2011 12:55 AM CST via mobile reply actions
I wouldn't have caught it...
But Purpledork made sure to spell it out for us :) I’ve completely missed out on that show, is it good?
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
It's quite possibly the greatest show of all time
I got to the party late, but I’ve been working my way back through the earlier seasons. It’s on it’s 7th or 8th season right now. Any show that lasts that long is good. As long as its not ER anyways.
White Horn Gold Pants
I think my dad has the first season on dvd somewhere.
Guess I’ll check it out. Thanks for the tip :)
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
I may just post Rise Against on everyone one of these
Give it All
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1HEueR3cNo
Boom- POD
In this song replace “South” with “North” and replace “Mic” with “Football” and I think we have a winner http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufb6T-av-rU
Rise Against is Always good!
Nice choice!
"Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time."
― Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon
Probably the Best one for the Subject Matter
Heart of a Champion-Nelly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jwZBqGPgVE
Yeah hahaha
"Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts." - Jared Allen
Is that a boy scout next to him/her/himmer?
because that’s really really funny if it is…
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
that boy scout is totally checking her out.
by Odin'sDrunkenSon on Dec 1, 2011 8:08 AM CST up reply actions
The guy in the shades is like:
Danm, she’s got some lumps. She’s a bit veiny, but man, those lumps.
"Let's go our there, and stick our fists through their ribcages, rip our their hearts, eat them, and sh!t them back out on the field!!" - Blue Mountain State
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Dec 1, 2011 11:09 AM CST up reply actions
Love the Boy Scouts
The motto is to be prepared, but the scouting handbook doesn’t cover things like that.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Pretty sure no hand book covers that...
although if he had a hand bag that might be close enough.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
The kid is clearly buttoning up his shirt even though it’s 95 degrees.
"Let's go our there, and stick our fists through their ribcages, rip our their hearts, eat them, and sh!t them back out on the field!!" - Blue Mountain State
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Dec 1, 2011 12:46 PM CST up reply actions
Not just one but TWO boy scouts.
For double the hilarity. And the douchpickle with the shades totally wants that cheerleader.
Until the cheerleader turns around.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Thanks Skol Girl...
Now I’m off to look at cheerleader pics, you know, to try to wash the images from my mind.
Look up ; )
"Let's go our there, and stick our fists through their ribcages, rip our their hearts, eat them, and sh!t them back out on the field!!" - Blue Mountain State
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Dec 1, 2011 7:54 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
And this is why I'm the self-appointed morale officer on this little longship...
Sharing sunshine and speedos.
Oh, and apparently, a few years back when he was still with the Chiefs, Jared Allen dressed up as Michael Phelps for Halloween—costume consisting of a speedo and some gold medals. The Chiefs played the Colts and I guess it was a dare, but Allen wore this Halloween costume out of the locker room and past Peyton Manning in his press conference. Only Jared Allen…
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Not sure what the song competition is about as I'm to lazy to read
But thinking about the team Queen – Another One Bites the Dust pretty much sums up our team as we watch more and more people hit the injury list.
Final Cut by Floyd (always has to be mentioned) would work for earlier in the year.
Comfortably Numb hits it for the fans right about now.
and Wish They Could All Be California Girls (by the Roth) would be the caption for SG’s video…
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
I was a California girl for awhile.
The song contest for Track 2 of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 is to choose a song for the guys who are worth watching even during this crap season—the guys like Adrian Peterson, Percy Harvin, and Jared Allen. If you’re thinking Queen, “Don’t Stop Me Now” kind of works.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Actually I'm thinking- Kluwe I'm to sexy for this team...
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
Ooooh, I like it.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Hope I'm not too late, just stopped in to reclaim the BK crown
This song talks about how the vikings get no respect (from the media) and how our superstars will never give in.
“This is real, as real as it gets
I came to your town to get some f-ing respect”
“I want domination
I want your submission
I see you’re not resisting
To this temptation
I’ve got one confession
I love deprivation
I’ve got a jet black heart
It’s all f’d up and it’s falling apart”
“Whoa I’ll never give in
Whoa I’ll never give up
Whoa I’ll never give in
I just wanna be, wanna be loved”
"Let's go our there, and stick our fists through their ribcages, rip our their hearts, eat them, and sh!t them back out on the field!!" - Blue Mountain State
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Dec 1, 2011 11:00 AM CST reply actions
Good song choice.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
Song Choice
I am surprised no one has picked this yet.
Cake’s “He’s Going the Distance”
This fits perfectly with Harvin’s return last week…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg
Because he’s racing and pacing and plotting the course.
He’s fighting and biting and riding on his horse.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up.
And long ago somebody left with the cup
"Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time."
― Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon
Way to butter up the judge.
I love Cake, seen them in concert a couple times—once at the Del Mar Racetrack. There they were, playing at a racetrack, and they made us wait until the encore to play “The Distance.”
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
I'll throw this one in
It’s what I’d like to tell the legislators about the Vikings stadium situation, Radio by Alkaline Trio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUV-WqhuihM
by Simply_Greatness on Dec 1, 2011 8:07 PM CST reply actions
Boy, that one grabs you from the first line.
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
http://www.dailynorseman.com/
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