Gentlemen, Football Has Been Saved In Minnesota
by Christopher Gates on Mar 23, 2011 8:47 PM CDT
in Non-Football
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PrintNormally, I'd introduce this with "ladies and gentlemen," but. . .well. . .I don't think the ladies in the audience would be too concerned about this one.
So, you might be asking, how has football been saved in Minnesota?
Did the owners and players come to a super-secret agreement when nobody was looking or paying attention? Nah, it's nothing like that.
Has a stadium bill gotten pushed through the Minnesota legislature? No, it's not that either.
What is it?
Well, good readers of The Daily Norseman. . .I am here to announce that the LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE will be making its way to the Twin Cities.
(Insert jokes about "eight in the box" right here.)
The league has released the following:
Lingerie Football League, LLC (LFL) continues its off-season momentum with the officials announcing further expansion in 2011. The LFL's eleventh franchise has been awarded to Minneapolis, Minnesota with an agreement to play its home games at Target Center, also home to the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves and WNBA's Minnesota Lynx. Minneapolis will join Cleveland, Las Vegas, Green Bay and possibly yet another 2011 expansion market team, all of whom will premiere in Fall 2011.
Must. . .not. . .make. . .obvious. . .joke. . .about. . .women's. . .football. . .in. . .Green. . .Bay.
(Hat tip to the Land of 10,000 Takes for the press release. They're linked above.)
If you'd like, you can also vote on the team name by dropping an e-mail to LFLinMinnesota@LFLUS.com. Whichever name is submitted the most frequently will become the team name.
The new Minnesota franchise will find itself in the league's Western Conference.
I suppose if anyone comes up with a good idea for a team. . .and please, dear lord, try to keep it semi-clean, at least. . .I suppose we could mass submit it to the e-mail address above. Feel free to discuss it below.
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As you can see
The new Green Bay LFL team has already begun practice
Formerly thewild_viking_twins. Because my old profile was kidnapped by ninjas, and I was NOT a bad enough dude to rescue it...
by NorthernStar on Mar 23, 2011 8:54 PM CDT reply actions 7 recs
Hahaha
Rec’d!!
Proud contributor to Daily Norseman and SB Nation Minnesota
by Eric J. Thompson on Mar 24, 2011 12:53 AM CDT up reply actions
At least we know one team at the Target Center will sell out this year.
You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that.
by Kevin Loves McHale's Navy on Mar 23, 2011 8:55 PM CDT reply actions
When you say 'keep it clean' when talking at LFL in Minnesota
what you’re doing metaphorically is placing a Mount Everest sized pile of cocaine in front of Charlie Sheen, saying ‘nope, don’t do it Charlie’, and then leaving the room.
Or dear sweet Lord, is this thread going to be fun to read…
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
hmm this could be fun
But ill try keep clean,Vipers,Shockwave,Nightmares,Herricanes(misspelled on purpose)Delta Divas,AfterShock but really need be tongue in cheek lol,just see some wardrobe malfunctions in future.
This is cheesy double entendre gold. Let's see how many I can cram into one sentence starting with if I was the QB....
I’d take the snap from under center in a two tight-end formation, send one wide receiver in motion, split one tight-end out wide, and audible to a QB sneak. After this play presumably being a scoring one, it’s time to huddle up and play defense : ) There’s an obvious joke about getting multiple players to focus on tackling the ball carrier but I’ll leave that to someone less PG than me.
I wonder if they have a hard time holding the ball(s)
can’t…stop
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
They don't fumble much, but I hear they have a tough time punching it in at the goal-line..... and cue rimshot.
On that note, I better leave for a while because I’m bound to get in trouble with this easy of a topic : )
by CanadianViking on Mar 23, 2011 9:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah they have a pretty hard time
(like the rest of us)
especially with the new stuff they make these things out of, when they get wet, they get pretty slippery, so you’re going to see a lot of fumbling around and choking, until they can get a good grip.
Let’s just hope they can hold on during the big finish
Formerly thewild_viking_twins. Because my old profile was kidnapped by ninjas, and I was NOT a bad enough dude to rescue it...
by NorthernStar on Mar 23, 2011 10:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Hmmm
I think I have a great name because it sounds awesome and goes along with the Vikings so well.
How about the Valkyries?
If you don’t know, Valkyries were warrior maidens in ancient Norse culture. Well that’s my idea, what does DN think?
We're talking women in lingerie
and you’re worried about names???
Comes to your senses, man! This thread isn’t for serious discussion, it’s double entendre heaven!!!!!
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
Serious question here Ted : ) Do they play both ways?
by CanadianViking on Mar 23, 2011 9:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Yes, but no tackling
two hand touch…below the waist.
It’s endless, endless I tell you.
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
weird I thought it was two finger touch below the waist.
Seriously I’m going to get banned for this.
It's a lot easier to love the Vikings when they win...
I like it!
I figured this is an appropriate post for this, so on a side note here’s the best “that’s what she said” joke I’ve ever heard, via my fiance:
After taking a jello shot and choking on it, “I sucked too hard and it hit the back of my throat!”
by Squeaker1018 on Mar 23, 2011 9:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Beer has been spit on to my computer from laughing
The finest loss of a Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat ever.
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
I hear Jay Cutler will be the quarterback
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
(s)he runs the spread formation, right?
Your fantasy football expert since Jerry Rice's rookie year.
Great Odin's Raven!
This just keeps getting better
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
Out of the shotgun
but they gotta be careful, that can get to be a mess
Formerly thewild_viking_twins. Because my old profile was kidnapped by ninjas, and I was NOT a bad enough dude to rescue it...
by NorthernStar on Mar 23, 2011 10:29 PM CDT up reply actions
Well actually Ted...
as an update, Jay Cutler was turned down for being too much of a crybaby to play in the LFL.
Ah, the failed attempt at returning Moss home. It was like '98 and '09 were about to make sweet, sweet love and give us a glorious '10 child.
www.dailynorseman.com- THE place for true Viking fanatics.
whats considered holding
are pump fakes allowed,brings new meaning goal line stance,or in the grasp or to be on the reciving end of the deep ball.
Obviously, there will be no kickoffs or field goals
as the thought of a woman taking a running start when kicking balls can’t do a lot for ratings.
Like candy from a baby.
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
Unless of course
you’re into that
Formerly thewild_viking_twins. Because my old profile was kidnapped by ninjas, and I was NOT a bad enough dude to rescue it...
by NorthernStar on Mar 23, 2011 10:42 PM CDT up reply actions
Hmmmm, in the fall huh?
Good thing they didn’t want to play in TCF, outdoors, would be a bit……nipply in the cold. They would have to install a new HD-3D bigscreen with super zoom.
New coach, new coaching staff, new starting QB. All we need now is a new stadium and all will be well in 2011.
But unlike Tennis
our team will be going……long and deep into territory
New coach, new coaching staff, new starting QB. All we need now is a new stadium and all will be well in 2011.
by VikesFaninNM on Mar 24, 2011 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Screw the NFL, the LFL is the Way of the Future!
Um.
Talk about a whole new way to love your football team!
Really ought to stop this sort of thing, but it’s just too much fun :) Is there a Fantasy LFL to play with too? Collectable cards and posters? Life-sized blow up dolls wall stickers bring the WOW into a young lad’s bedroom?
Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
SKOL!
I'm surprised
While Valkyries is pretty good, no one has brought up the Vixens?
Already taken.
Seriously. There is already a womens football team named this. See link below.
Your fantasy football expert since Jerry Rice's rookie year.
yeah this league is probably the best idea ever
not only can they play in their uniforms but they can also floss with them when they are done. Dental hygeine is always important… Wide receivers, tight ends, full backs, spread offense, taking it deep, so many things that sound so much better in this league.
Must stop typing.
It's a lot easier to love the Vikings when they win...
LOL
Ive watched some of these games on You tube and some of it was surprizing.
@}-----You've been Touched-----{@
It must be a slow football day...
Minnesota Twin Peaks???
I like the Valkyries – though guess many other states will have problems spelling that. The Vixens would be ok too.
Guessing any commentators would have to be careful not to refer to any rear tackles as ’She’s been taken from behind!’ or a sack as ‘She went down faster than a…’
Can’t wait to see an equipment malfunction!
Oh, and if any of the players want to send me photos of their privates – you know, just in harmless banter – then my number is …
Looking at the names of the other teams
The name is not going to end with an S
It’s gonna be like a strip club name or something
Formerly thewild_viking_twins. Because my old profile was kidnapped by ninjas, and I was NOT a bad enough dude to rescue it...
Hmmmm
The Minnesota Lap Dance
With the 12th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...
And whereas...
the Vikings cheer is SKOL!, the Lap Dance’s cheer is TEN DOLLARS!
Ah, the failed attempt at returning Moss home. It was like '98 and '09 were about to make sweet, sweet love and give us a glorious '10 child.
www.dailynorseman.com- THE place for true Viking fanatics.
Name the team
Why not Minnesota Viqueens?
Suites a lovely and lethal woman perfect and it also connects to Minnesota Vikings.
Big plus is that all Viking-haters who say/write Viqueens can be corrected that they are refering to the wrong team.
6' 3", 209 lbs, long blond hair, moustache and beard.
As a Viking ought to be ;-)
Minnesota Minx
I am soooooooooo looking forward to the next version of Madden LFL 2012 !
Vikings Valhalla .com
Roster Updates.
Tom Brady and Clay Matthews sought to join in order to provide income during the lockout. Unfortunately, both were told they would have to cut their hair to play, and subsequently changed their minds.
Ah, the failed attempt at returning Moss home. It was like '98 and '09 were about to make sweet, sweet love and give us a glorious '10 child.
www.dailynorseman.com- THE place for true Viking fanatics.
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