Vikings Respond to Minnesota Department of Transportation Announcement, And Ted Translates

The Minnesota Vikings have released a statement on the revised road infrastructure costs for the proposed stadium at the Arden Hills site:

Eden Prairie, MN (May 18, 2011) We want to thank Governor Dayton, the Minnesota Department of Transportation and Ramsey County for working together to quickly explore in further detail the off-site transportation needs and costs for a new stadium at the TCAAP site in Arden Hills. It is important for all parties to be in agreement on the numbers so we can now focus our energy on moving this project forward. We appreciate the fact that these discussions have lowered the overall project costs, and we look forward to working with the governor and legislative leaders on resolving the stadium issue in Minnesota.

I will translate this in easy to understand verbiage after the jump.

We want to thank Governor Dayton...

We want to thank him, but we'd really like to slap him silly for not getting on board right away.  But if we did that, there's no way we'd ever get a stadium, so we'll throw plaudits out like bribes to try and get this thing across the finish line.

...the Minnesota Department of Transportation and Ramsey County for working together to quickly explore in further detail the off-site transportation needs and costs for a new stadium at the TCAAP site in Arden Hills.

Because regardless of what the numbers are, the TCAAP site is infinitely better than the Retrodome joke that Minneapolis is trying to force on us.  And let's face it, the Retrodome plan is as unworkable as the Schwarzenegger-Shriver marriage.

It is important for all parties to be in agreement on the numbers...

Dear Butthurt Minneapolis hacks who are trying to sabotage the Arden Hills plan:  SUCK IT!  YOU WERE WRONG, like we told you.

...so we can now focus our energy on moving this project forward.

So really, just get out of the way and let us get this done.  Because your incessant whining and crying is more irritating than sand in the swimsuit.

We appreciate the fact that these discussions have lowered the overall project costs...

Really, they were never that expensive, but Minneapolis got all bitchy about this plan and tried to set everyone's hair on fire with what we knew were bogus numbers all along.  We were happy that this report is the fire extinguisher.

and we look forward to working with the governor and legislative leaders on resolving the stadium issue in Minnesota.

Dear Minneapolis:  Maybe you didn't hear us at the beginning of this statement, but SUCK IT!  Whatever the hurdle, whatever the latest bitch is, it doesn't matter; you're dead to us.  We're going to Ramsey County, and you can't force us into a crappy plan on the Metrodome site.  So if you'll quit wasting everyone's time, maybe we might be able to get this thing done before the legislature adjourns.

Seriously, Minneapolis, quit being the Debbie Downer and shut up.  The only one who thinks anyone likes your plan is you.

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