The Tug of War

"Ten million years from now, when the sun burns out and the earth is just a frozen snowball hurling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out."  - Tug McGraw


 Oh really?  Welcome to the other side of Zen.  As George Washington's Frenchie allies said during the revolution, "au contraire."   It's time to blow some Yankee Doodle at the enemy.

Getting this guy (or gal) out.  That's what you should be doing, Minnesota voter.   Put them on your list.  "But far beyond forever, you'll be mine."   Political waffle games?  We know a little game too, one called Now I've Got You, You SOB. (reference-Berne, Eric, Ph. D.)

" opposing end them?...'tis a cosummation devoutly to be wished" (-el Bardo).  As my guru the great Yogi once said, "It ain't over 'til it's over."

Yes, today's episode does involve drinking Irish whisky, folks.  Adjusting your mind to your circumstances is the best thing that you can have going for you.  This rant is about the proper reaction to illegitimate screwing by your unduly elected officials. 

Speaking of the good outcomes from mindless screwing, maybe like Tim McGraw, you ought to be thinking of George Washington, or, say, Thomas Jefferson...

When in the course of human events, it becomes clear to you that politicians got a good reason for taking the easy way out, now Ringo, you must start to think like some alleged villain, say Machiavelli.   Yeah!  That's the ticket!

Life involves conflict.  So how does one make the best of it?

Jefferson was a torn man, because, although he fervently believed in human freedom, he was always nearly flat broke, and his income depended on slavery.   Yes, he died a pauper on July 4, 1826, but he accomplished his ends, and so can you, even in what appears to be the twilight's last gleaming.  Remember, Francis Scott Key was talking about the war after the war in his little song.   The fight goes on until the last politician is out in the wonderful Minnesota cold.

In our case, the sea of troubles is not limited to a great recession.  (Don't ever get me started on that topic.)
Soon after I arrived to live in Minnesota, Jesse Ventura found the state had so much money lying around, he built the best damned stadium for football which was ever conceived by mankind and wrapped it up in a feather boa he wasted it by appeasing the masses.  (Maybe Machiavelli wrote somewhere that if you can't beat them, bribe them?  But hey, a Navy SEAL is known for doing, not for thinking.)  Later Jesse himself met the Minnesota state legislature, and he regrettably found jumping off the ropes just doesn't cut it against them.

If you hate what I usually write, you will take solace in knowing that I wrote e-mails to my assorted Minnesota senators in three counties from 1997 to 2009 about a new Viking stadium.  Yes, imagine (if you dare) what receiving a dozen years worth of angry e-mails from Elgar is really like.  

I do not underestimate the people who stand in our way.  They make Dicken's Jack Dawkins look like he needed the knickname Easy Target.  (...was that another Minnesota stadium reference??? - not even your hairdresser knows for sure.)

In my buddy Niccolò's book, The Prince (yeah, it's always just all about Minnesota, isn't it?), he says a successful war is the foundation upon which strong nations are built.  I mean, if George Washington had screwed up and insisted on getting his personal revenge by selfishly insisting on retaking Manhattan rather than dragging his raggedy army 400 miles home to Virginia and there checkmating the British by making amends with his former press guy, Alexander Hamilton, and letting this miffed former protégé have a crack at delivering their true foe a taste of their own medicine (the business end of the bayonets), then we might all be now disgussing building new soccer pitches over tea.  It's time to go into overtime and penalize some people with a few good kicks.

Yes, I do realize this is not a secure channel, comrades.  Virtually all politicians fervently believe in one thing: winning the next election.  They currently fear the rabid crowd they have angered by cutting education.

The problem is, that we are not in danger of losing the schools of Minnesota forever, even if we fail to motivate those kids who don't pay attention in class.

So, let us make our bonzai charge for the net.  As the King once told us that year in which the NFL's Minnesota Vikings were born, It's Now or Never.

Unemployment, a Stephen-King-like film, coming to an elected official near you.  You may kill our team, but we, the undead, will welcome you to hell, and we can't be killed.  Like rabid, zombie elephants, we don't forget.  We'll blow our gjallarhorns in your ear until well after hell freezes over, and we're not quite as gullible as old Sven and Ole.  We saw what you did.  We know where you live.  You are not off the hook.

You see, there is something worse that having stupid, angry people coming after you.  It's having cunning, relentless, ruthless people coming after you.  Welcome to unemployment.  Longer than always is a long, long time.

Remember, Minnesota has a temper.  This is the state which holds the record for the largest mass public hanging in United States history, and not even Abe Lincoln could stop it.  If you think for one second that you have waffled, flim-flammed, or bamboozled anybody by promising to get your round "two-it", remember, your excellency, that we believe in a team named after those wild bastards who came after multiple continents, with meat axes. 

Take out our team, and we, the undead, will eat your children, whether they are educated or not.

We' ll show no mercy, and you'll be the ones singing that Tim McGraw lyric:

"I don't know why you gotta be Angry All The Time"

 Think Vikings fans didn't get to vote on it?   Think again.

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a community, that view is no less important.

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