Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 Track 10, Ode to a Record Breaker

"I wonder what the folks at the Daily Norsemen have chosen for the Track 10 challenge on UMM2011? Maybe they'd let me award the Burger King crown to the winner..." Because you know that's what Jared Allen was thinking in the midst of his sack celebration.

During a season when not much went right for the Minnesota Vikings, Jared Allen and his run on the NFL single-season sack record was a much needed bright spot. Although Allen didn't beat Michael Strahan's record that was set in 2001 at 22 1/2 sacks, Allen did break the Vikings' single season sack record set by Chris Doleman 20 years ago.

Therefore, it seemed fitting that one of the tracks on our Ultimate Misery Mix 2011, the musical soundtrack for a thoroughly disappointing season, should be devoted to one of the few bright spots. Jared Allen has been a fan favorite and a solid pass rusher since he joined the team as a free-agent in 2008. Known for his big personality as well as his big plays, I was curious what kind of songs Allen would inspire for the Track 10 Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 challenge.

Join me after the jump for a look at some fun musical selections and the song that wins this challenge topic.

Sometimes the songs that aren't submitted are as interesting to me as the songs that are submitted for a particular challenge topic (more about that later). Just when I think I know what to expect from the Daily Norseman readership, I'm surprised. Of the 35 submissions for this challenge, there was an interesting eclectic mix. Fortunately, the DN writers are also an eclectic mix and helped me sift through the selections. Get ready to spend some money on iTunes, we present your Track 10 selections.

Track 10 Challenge Topic: Choose a song that is a fitting tribute to Jared Allen breaking the Minnesota Vikings single-season sack record.

Fourth place goes to songs that make me both laugh and cringe. Grape Drank submitted "Now You're A Man" the theme song to the movie Orgazmo. I don't really think there was much doubt that Jared Allen was a man, but his run on the single-season sack record cemented his place in Vikings history as the man. The other song sharing fourth place is Lonely Island's "Threw It On the Ground" submitted by Mebera.

In third place we have potential for controversy. You know how I said that sometimes the songs that aren't submitted are as intriguing to me as the songs that are? Well, as I watched the song submissions roll in and no one had submitted this song I decided to do something that would be ethically questionable if this contest professed to have any ethics--I submitted it myself. Yeah, I know, bad, wrong, rigged, blah, blah, blah. But, how perfect is LL Cool J's song "Mama Said Knock You Out"? "Don't call it a comeback/I been here for years/Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear/Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon/Listen to the bass go BOOM/Explosion, overpowerin'/Over the competition, I'm towerin'/Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the cops/Don't you dare stare, you betta move/Don't ever compare/Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced/Competition's payin the price." And, now that I think about it, "Hard to Handle"" by the Black Crowes seems like a good choice too. Was there anything on the Shake Your Money Maker album that wasn't great? I think not.

Third place also has Patty Smyth and Scandal's classic "The Warrior" submitted by rdcoffey5. The video is a little weird, but Smyth was definitely one of the great musical women of the 1980s. And, The Heavy's song "How You Like Me Now" submitted by HawkeyeVikingTwinsUnited, is just so cool it feels like we're coming up with a soundtrack to a Guy Ritchie movie. It also feels like the sort of thing that Allen might want to toss back at the Kansas City Chiefs' ownership after their acrimonious parting.

Edit: I meant to select this song and I guess I just zoned out while I was looking at the list. Another song for our third-place-by-committee is P.O.D.'s song "Boom" submitted by Admiral BigGun. My apologies Admiral BigGun, great song.

Second place is held down by Godsmack's "I Stand Alone" submitted by vikings68 because, at least in Minnesota, Jared Allen most definitely stands alone. And, as Chris succinctly put it, the song "makes you want to go out and hit somebody yourself." The other song in second place is Ozzy Osbourne's "I Don't Wanna Stop" submitted by Vikant because it seemed so right for a guy like Allen who plays at such a high motor.

If there's one thing I've noticed about Jared Allen in the time he's been with the Minnesota Vikings, it's that he's a strange bundle of seemingly unrelated surprises. He's a tough guy, but he would bring his "bankie" (nope, not making that up) to training camp. He's a guy who likes hunting and the great outdoors, but his dog, Lucy, was a cute little purse puppy, not a retriever or a spaniel. And, despite the hefty free-agent contract he got when he signed with the Vikings, Allen's truck (not an Escalade or Range Rover) was factory standard right down to the sound system with its presets on country and classic rock stations.

That's why for our first place song, winner of the Track 10 challenge on the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011, is "Boom Boom" by Big Head Todd & The Monsters submitted by michiganpat. A great cover of John Lee Hooker's song, it's a little bit old-school and a little bit unexpected, not unlike Jared Allen.

Congratulations to michiganpat on winning our Track 10 challenge! Enjoy the Burger King crown and rule wisely. My thanks to everyone who submitted songs--so many great songs to choose from, so little space on the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011.

Which brings me to two quick points of business. Firstly, for a season as ill-fated as 2011, it seems right that the Ultimate Misery Mix should boast an unlucky 13 tracks. I had thought 12 tracks seemed like a good number before, but 13 just feels right. The second point of business is to introduce the Track 11 challenge topic.

Track 11 Challenge: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to select a good song for fans who are looking to drown their sorrows after the 2011 season. Yes, we're looking for a good, brokenhearted drinking song. If you have a winning song in mind, submit it in the comments section by Wednesday 10pm CST. Winning results will be posted sometime on Friday.

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