VCB: Skip Bayless Gets Owned By Chris Kluwe. Unknown If He Will French Kiss A Flamethrower.
WRITTEN BY: HOLYSCHNIKES
Apparently, Skip Bayless doesn’t like kicking. In fact, he dislikes kicking so much that he thinks it should be banned. Well as you may know our punter Chris Kluwe is incredibley vocal and opinionated. He is also not happy that Skip Bayless thinks that kicking should be banned. Now usually I don’t follow Twitter wars, but this one was so awesome that I felt it needed to be posted on this blog. Here is Bayless’s tweet
Honestly, I felt sorry for Suggs/Ray/EReed. Fought guts out, lost b/c a nonplayer missed easy kick. WHY I HATE FG KICKING. Ban it!about 17 hours ago via webRetweetFavorite
@RealSkipBayless Skip Bayless
Now that’s a bit extreme don’t you think? Calling them non-athletes when they clearly possess an athletic ability that few others have. I mean without FG kicking the 49ers-Giants game would still be going on most likely. It’s not like it was an easy kick either as Bayless claims. The play clock was winding down, the snap was bad, the hold wasn’t good, and the conditions weren’t exactly ideal. Now does that mean he souldn’t have made it? No. I mean he is a pro kicker and he does this for a living, but it’s not like he missed an extra point or something like that. Well apparently Chris thougt the same way. The following three tweets are all by Kluwe....
@RealSkipBayless Hey fuckwit. Let's not forget you haven't done a single athletic thing in your life. Go french kiss a flamethrower.about 17 hours ago via webRetweetFavorite
@ChrisWarcraft Chris Kluwe
@RealSkipBayless I know what we should ban! Uninformed opinions from shit-spewing e-thugs who tear people down to try to generate ratings!about 17 hours ago via webRetweetFavorite
@ChrisWarcraft Chris Kluwe
Hey @RealSkipBayless. PUNT RETURNING IS STUPID AND SHOULD NEVER BE IN TEH GAME OMG HEADDESKSMASHRAGEQUIT.#howdoesthatsoundyoufuckingtoolabout 13 hours ago via webRetweetFavorite
@ChrisWarcraft Chris Kluwe
Wow. This man is the epitome of awesomeness. He is the god of Twitter. Seriously, I defy you to find anybody who comes up with more creative responses. Not to mention he makes a valid point. That’s why Kluwe definitely wins this war. I mean Skip has never kicked in his life and now he thinks we should ban kicking because other guys fought their guts out and it was decided by a kick? Does that mean we should ban returning because Kyle Williams fumbled the ball? I mean the 49ers fought like hell and they get set up to lose on an equally gut-wrenching play. No we shouldn’t. These things happen and are part of the game. They happen to the best of them. It’s these things that make the NFL so great. Its the heartbreak and the drama (we Vikings fans have experienced plenty of both) that make the NFL what it is. Like Kluwe said, Bayless is just spewing shit here and the suggestion that we should ban kicking is absolutely ludacris. I also feel absolutley terrible for both Williams and Billy Kundiff. I wish nothing but the best for both of these guys and hope they bounce back with a vengeance.
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Terrell Suggs got in on the action today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44HQGlTUyh8&feature=youtu.be
Jack Morris ________
Good stuff.
About time somebody says something to that jackass..Suggs is always entertaining to listen to.
Where the hell did Skip Bayless come from anyway?!
ESPN definitely has their share of semi-informed opinionated morons, but Bayless has always amazed me. They introduce him like he is a well-recognized respected knowledgeable sports journalist, but I have no clue what rock the idiot crawled out from underneath, or why his opinion should carry any more weight than a fart.
He is truly an arrogant argumentative mindless tool.
Skip Bayless is not an idiot.
Idiots are by definition ignorant, and Bayless knows exactly what he is doing.
Bayless is a professional contrarian; that is, he makes a good living arguing against the consensus, or at least the most popular opinion, on nearly any sports-related issue.
I suspect Bayless’ daily preparation goes a lot like this: Skip sits down, thoroughly researches whatever story he will be discussing, considers the strongest arguments most supported by evidence, and then forms an opinion directly in opposition to the strongest arguments.
Bayless does not do this out of ignorance; he does it because being a contrarian/professional troll is good entertainment, gets good ratings, and therefore pays him well.
Remember: ESPN is not hard news, it is sports entertainment, and that is what Bayless does. He is the sports “journalism” equivalent of the “heel” in a WWF match.
by Midnight Rambler on Jan 23, 2012 4:00 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
In other words douchebag.
Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." --Knute Rockne
Not sure I agree with that definition of an idiot,
but I agree on other stuff. He’s paid to be a devil’s advocate, but still, he’s kind of a douche.
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." -Mark Twain
So he is well-paid to play the idiot..?
I don’t know Midnight, he sure seems to believe what he spews, as well as take himself way too seriously. Maybe it is all an act,still, he always acts like an idiot.
Picture This:
One or two former jocks-turned-TV personalities, and one or two journalism school graduates, sitting around a table for twenty-minutes agreeing that Walter Payton should be remembered as a great back and a great person.
Now picture that same table, but with Skip Bayless arguing that Walter Payton was the most over-rated RB in NFL history, and that Payton probably liked kicking puppies and spitting on orphans in his spare time.
Which one of those shows is going to hold your interest through commercial breaks for a half hour?
by Midnight Rambler on Jan 24, 2012 1:58 PM CST up reply actions
Conflict may help ratings...
and maybe maybe Bayless did start out just playing the role, but I think he has completely taken on the identity of the douche-pickle. Life imitating art, if you will, and now he actually has become the real life idiot douche-pickle that he plays. If you know him personally and know that he’s just playing the bit then I stand corrected. Otherwise, I sure as hell don’t see anything from the guy that would lead me to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I am not defending Bayless, or saying he is a good person.
I am explaining what evidence suggests Bayless really is: a shrewd self-promoter who found a niche and plays it for all it is worth.
You seem to be buying in to ESPN and Bayless’ shtick, which is that he is some sort of incurably stubborn pundit with the inability to accept what evidence tells everyone else on any given issue.
Again, the “N” in ESPN does not stand for news. In buying the idea that Bayless is a clueless douche-pickle you are buying exactly the image he and ESPN want you buy. Bayless’ act is no more real than was the Iron Shiek’s persona as an Iranian or Arab tribal leader.
ESPN is, after all, the network that openly admitted they hired the unlikable Stephen A. Smith precisely because viewers hated him so much.
by Midnight Rambler on Jan 24, 2012 7:11 PM CST up reply actions
The sports equivalent of Howard Stern
more or less.
Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." --Knute Rockne
There is a difference between being a contrarian/entertainer
And being someone who says stupid things to garner ratings. Since he says stuff like the Walter Payton example all the time, then there is as much chance I watch him as I would watch one of the Kardashians take the Octomom shopping for diapers at the Jersey Shore.
Not EVER gonna happen.
by liveforadrenaline on Jan 24, 2012 7:30 PM CST up reply actions
Interesting is he actaully has a bunch of journalism awards.
So I don’t think he’s a hack, just representing himself to the media.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
I think I'm totally selling the schtick,
not buying into it. Unless that means that I either mute the TV or change the channel when he opens his mouth. For me, he’s like that Pizza Hut commercial with the dude playing his guitar singing a monotone diddy about their pizza deals… I can’t find the mute button fast enough when either comes on. I’m almost at the same point with Trent Dilfer too.
If you want complete torture...
watch a segment where Skippy goes head-to-head with Stephen A. Smith while that fat chick, who looks like John Elway, tries to chime in and mediate. Oh, the pain.
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask of the Spiderman
And you don't trash talk about him
by REVENGE4WEBB on Jan 25, 2012 3:41 PM CST up reply actions
I thought it WAS John Elway!
Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." --Knute Rockne
He thinks the NBA is better than the NHL
You can’t get more idiotic than that.
I think it's worth pointing out
That Bayless mainly got his job because he started out as a journalist following the Cowboys. While following them he wrote a book speculating that Troy Aikman was gay.
I see Skip's point on this one
And I know that kicking isn’t easy. But I question Harbaugh’s clock management more than anything on this one. Cundiff clearly wasn’t ready to kick that ball. He was running onto the field with the playclock under 10 seconds. I would have used a timeout to let him get his damn steps.
Wow. This man is the epitome of awesomeness. He is the god of Twitter.
Too bad he’s not the god of punting.
"At this point, what we got to lose, right? So we might as well throw caution to the wind and hit people in the face."
--Vikings DE Jared Allen
And incase anyone was wondering why I see Skip's point
Kickers don’t have to go through tackling drills, or blocking drills, or apparently (by the looks of Steve Weatherford’s forehead) wear helmets in practice.
Anyone else beginning to think that Kluwe has a bit of an anger problem?
"At this point, what we got to lose, right? So we might as well throw caution to the wind and hit people in the face."
--Vikings DE Jared Allen
anger problem? No at least I don't think so
and I kind of see skip’s point as well. But I can also see we Kluwe is pissed off. Skip Bayless sorta has that effect on people. he is like a parasite that gets under people’s skin that digs into people brain and drives them crazy. you can see it with the people he works with as well, they just want to strangle him.
"Never take your eyes off of your opponent…even when you bow."
Re: anger issue
“French kiss a flame thrower.” “Put your head underwater and take a deep breath.” Kluwe quotes.
It’s best to ignore people like Bayless. At least I do. And when I catch myself watching, I don’t take him serious.
"At this point, what we got to lose, right? So we might as well throw caution to the wind and hit people in the face."
--Vikings DE Jared Allen
There is no point here, NONE!
Taking FGs out of games would be a terrible thing. It adds a great element to the game and sets up a cool scoring system where two FGs don’t equal a TD and extra point.
\m/
by Edgecrusher71 on Jan 27, 2012 2:08 PM CST up reply actions
Eh
Woulda been better if he called him a douche pickle.
I Talk Louder Than Anyone Else, call me Skip Bayless
This guy does nothing but run his mouth and talk over other people, trying desperately to fulfill his void of being unable to be in the shoes of an athlete. You find that the most vocal reporters are those have never been in a position of an athlete before. Their only recourse is to try and humiliate and downgrade those that he could never be. Sad and pathetic !!
the only reason Bayless should open his mouth is to switch feet
you see through his act, yet at the same time he still makes you go, “…really…??”
the only time he’s worth listening to is when someone puts together something like this.
"Th_r_'s n_ h_p_ f_r _ssh_l_ f_ckw_ts."
Can I buy a vowel...?? +1, Kluwe.
or this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbL9YneYW1U&feature=relmfu
"Never take your eyes off of your opponent…even when you bow."
Kluwe has worn out his welcome
More than long ago. Definite anger issue. Telling someone to kill themselves is a problem. I wish the Vikings would get a punter that actually cared about the sport.
It’s awful that players have interests outside their jobs. I know I personally have no interests outside my career.
have to agree with birdman here….ya, kluwe was obviously pissed off about bayless’ comments, but i do not think he has an anger issue. in fact, i didn’t see anything wrong with his tweets….besides being ridiculously hilarious that is (which isn’t wrong lol)
lol now that's kinda funny
plus he did want him to fall into a bed so he’s not totally a hater. :)
Kluwe is ranting a bit much, but hey no ones perfect.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
Bayless is a self promoting F*ckstick...
He will probably die from inhaling parts of his own body in a sad case of self love…
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
I think he was calling himself completely uniformed
by viking_#28 on Jan 26, 2012 4:12 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
aww too bad
then something you said would of made sense
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
He rarely makes mention of anything football related
With the exception of these last few playoff games. He is annoying.
Do you only talk about your career on Twitter? If he’s annoying, ignore him.
Look, I don’t care for Kluwe’s hyperbole regarding Bayless. But that has little to do with his performance on the field, where he has been a very good punter. Kluwe is passionate about his craft but he recognizes that there’s more to life than football. I like that sense of perspective.
Kluwe is our field goal holder
therefore, taking away kicking would take away part of his job and a little income. If I told you your job needs to be taken away, you’d probably be pretty pissed too.
Unless your 16 and have no job, then that would explain the constant troll like posts.
If we can't laugh at ourselves, Packer fans will call us crybabies and we will be forced to kick their tooth in. I really don't want to go to jail (again).
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Jan 25, 2012 10:00 AM CST up reply actions
no need to be a hater man
Don’t go all Kluwe on him now!
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
So someone that doesn't think the way you do...
= troll. Got it. The logic here is above and beyond.
Don't know if you want to attach anything to leeleex
She’s nuts.
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
Nuts are healthy!
dont h8!
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
...Really?
I work retail but I never post anything about it on my facebook unless somebody pisses me off.
I think your missing the point of social media. People use it to get glimpses into people’s whole lives, not just what they do for a living. Kluwe’s a nerd, he’s going to talk about nerdy things.
No, that would not upset me. I would need to be narcissistic to care about that
I just disagreed with Kluwe and he obviously does this for attention. How is that wrong to state my opinion?
I think he was just joking.
☠★☪Creator of http:/vikescity.info/ and dedicated DN reader.
by UnBannedVikingholic on Jan 28, 2012 6:00 PM CST up reply actions
I was...
And his reaction to my comment shows exactly why he doesn’t get Kluwe or his antics.
In a game full of thugs, drug addicts, prima donnas and idiots; Kluwe is a refreshing dash of intelligence and humor.
BTW… isn’t Twitter designed for that purpose? To say things on the internet in order to get other people’s attention?
That IS his career. Bayless is talking about eliminating people who kick the ball, that IS his job!
The Green Bay Packers...Putting bad coaches out of their misery since 2010
I guess we could talk abotu eliminating annoying reporters.
Yellow Journalists should all be kicked out of reporting! Of course then we’d have no more reporters…
The Vikes aren't in a remodeling or reconstruction they are in a burn the place down and start praying they don't mimic the Lions rebuilding process.
It is his job as a reporter...
to get rid of Kickers and Punters?
I fail to make the connection here.
I wanna see Skip Bayless on Bill O'Rielly, and vice-versa.
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask of the Spiderman
And you don't trash talk about him
I believe when Chris is done playing football, ESPN needs to give him his own show. They are a cable channel, so different rules apply as far as cussing and such.
"Excuse me while I ride my unicorn over to the gentleman’s club my wife doesn’t mind me visiting and doing coke off a hooker’s ass." - Henry Dawg , DBN - Dec 2011
One more reason I love Kluwe....
I think those of you bashing Kluwe should be more upset only our PUNTER seems to have anger issues instead of say….the entire OLine…
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
by LeeleeX on Jan 26, 2012 1:13 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
At least he shows emotion
When Loadholt gives up a sack, he just stares silently down at the ground at the lifeless body of whichever QB is in and waits for the next play to be called.
If we can't laugh at ourselves, Packer fans will call us crybabies and we will be forced to kick their tooth in. I really don't want to go to jail (again).
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Jan 26, 2012 1:21 PM CST up reply actions
One of the better tweets wasn't even posted
https://twitter.com/#!/ChrisWarcraft/status/161573277419053056
“I mean, how much horse cock do you have to gargle to be that bad at your job @RealSkipBayless? #thatshowyoutrollsomeone, #icandothisallday”
http://sports-boards.net | Top notch sports discussion!
Wearing my Kluwe Jersey proudly!
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
Go Kluwe! Bayless is the epitome of misinformed idiots that are employed by ESPN. I don’t know how he’s still on TV. We’ve found something that APC and DN fans can all agree on!!!
The Green Bay Packers...Putting bad coaches out of their misery since 2010
by TrevorR on Jan 30, 2012 7:37 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
Both Bayless and Kluwe...
… come across as idiots in this.
But our idiot doesnt make sweeping generalization...
He just attacks the idiot that did…
We claim the lesser of two evils :P
2011 Vikings, keeping the liquor industry in the green ALL YEAR LONG!
Kluwe is moderately funny and obviously not afraid to say what he thinks, but the ad hominems are sort of childish. And for those that think he’s original and full of awesome sauce, I’m pretty sure most of his material (including the infamous “douche-pickle”) comes from the WoW/MMO community, which in turn derives from 4chan/reddit/memes in general.

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