I think I just overheard aguy who knows a guy that's married to the sister of a guy wh delivers stuf to the janitorial crew at Winter Park say he heard the Vikings have created a new bounty program. Here's how it works:

The Vikings offensive players will provide cash bonuses to players on defense or special teams that score points or shows up an opponent's offensive starter to the point he's benched.

Percy Harvin has reportedly signed on to the bounty program to the point he will refuse to play offense next sunday, and will play only on special teams, returning both kickoffs and punts while promising to share his bounty booty with anyone who blocks a punt and pitches to him for the score.

The cocktail waitress here says she heard Roger Goodell caught wind of the plan and may consider appointing John Marty to investigate. (suck it, Marty).

So my prediction for the Seattle game has the Vikings squeaking out a very close game, 34- 33, with no Vikings points coming from offensive touchdowns. Statline Vikings: Offense, 287 yds, zero points, Peterson 257 rushing because he is not human, 30 yards everyone else. Ponder, 18 of 27 passing no yards because Petcy didn't line up on offense, 4 Int (because we can not pick up the blitz)

Crap. The bartender just cut me off. Now, where'd I park my car...