I'm Bored So We're Having a Caption Contest
by Skol Girl on Feb 17, 2012 6:38 PM CST
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PrintAlthough Minnesota's harsh winter weather isn't living up to the hype this year with a rash of unseasonably warm weather and a serious lack of snow, I have definitely come down with a case of the winter blahs. The Minnesota Vikings' 2011 season was done on the first day of January, the post season wrapped up almost two weeks ago, and we still have nearly a month until free agency will begin. Yes, we have hit that really boring stretch of time when very little is going on in the world of professional football.
Except the Vikings' stadium quest, but I'm so tired of reading about the stadium situation that I can't bring myself to write about it. Not that there is anything I can say that hasn't already been covered by Chris or Ted.
This soul-sucking lack of football wouldn't be so bad if I had another sport to distract myself with, but I don't. I have a tepid interest in the Minnesota Timberwolves and I'm glad they are on the rise, but I'd be lying if I said I was following them closely. Hockey overlapped so much with football that I've missed most of the Wild's season, which now seems to be flagging. Baseball doesn't interest me at all, so hearing that the Minnesota Twins are getting geared up for spring training is about as fascinating to me as a wallpaper comparison. It's a boring winter wasteland.
So it seemed like a good time to manufacture some fun with another of DN's classic contests, the caption contest. That's right, we're un-retiring our Burger King crown and we're looking for a winner. But this time, there's a twist.
What twist could we add to an otherwise straightforward competition? So glad you asked.
As you might have guessed (or I might have told you, can't remember), in the past people have submitted their clever captions in the comment section below, I then compile the captions, present them to my fellow DN writers (who regret that I have their email addresses), we choose a winner, and I post the results. We're still going to do that. But, this time, in addition to a winner chosen by the DN writers, we're also going to crown a people's choice winner.
Here's how it will work: if you're reading the submitted captions and you find one you think should be the winner, cast your vote by choosing to rec that caption. The caption with the most recs will be the DN People's Choice winner and will enjoy the adulation of his/her peers. Hopefully, that's enough because cash and prizes aren't in our 2012 budget.
So, just to recap, we have another caption contest. Study the picture of Christian Ponder and Donovan McNabb at the top of the page, then compose a fitting caption and post it in the comments section below. Make us laugh and wow us with your cleverness. All entries will be presented to the DN writers and we'll choose a winner, but you can also vote for the People's Choice winner by choosing to rec a caption that you think should win. I'll compile the results and we'll crown the DN Writers' Choice and the DN People's Choice.
All captions need to be submitted by Monday, February 20, 2012 at 8pm CST. I'll publish the results later next week and we'll crown our winners. Good luck!
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Uncle McNabb!
Hey Ponder, how much you wanna make a bet I can crater this football six feet into the ground?… Yeah… Coach woulda let me play this year, we would’ve been world champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
Umm, Donovan...
I know you’re happy to see me, but I sure hope that’s your hand in your pocket that’s making your shorts stick out like that!
I AM VIKING, HEAR ME ROAR!!!
Caption
Coach Frazier [off-camera]: “Christian, hustle your butt up here, you’re the starter now. And McNabb…you’re gonna be released in a few weeks.”
Ponder: “Sure thing coach!”
McNabb: “Well, at least I won’t have to give Kluwe that stupid ice cream cone.”
Ponder. Peterson. Percy. Purple Perfection.
mcnabb “hey, wheres berrian? he was the only player who made me look like a good signing in comparison”
ponder"yeeaaaah, abouut that, lets just say you guys can hang out all you want from now on"
by statue_left on Feb 17, 2012 7:37 PM CST via iPhone app reply actions
McNabb…..“I bet I can skip these rocks farther than you can.”
Ponder……“First one to short-hop one to Jenkins gets Kluwe’s number?”
McNabb…..“Cool. But if anyone gets near me in the end zone, I’m falling down.”
by FanFromtheRock on Feb 17, 2012 7:49 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Practice, we talkin' about practice....
McNabb: “We have to run the play again?!?! I threw it within 10 yards of Harvin! He should make that catch.. and look at the schedule coach just put up! We have practice again tomorrow, and the DAY after that, and the day AFTER that!!!”
Ponder: thinks to self ‘I can tell we come from different families. The Superbowlwinner side of my family would not put up with this’
by Mr. Fun-Pants on Feb 17, 2012 8:06 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
“I hope you don’t really think you’re gonna take over my Campbell’s chunky soup gig too, grasshopper.”
by LetsGoTwoSmokes on Feb 17, 2012 8:28 PM CST via mobile reply actions
McNabb gets a clue
OH SHIT…….. this kid can play
by Lee Stiles on Feb 17, 2012 8:46 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Submission #2
Ponder: “Hey McNabb, McNABB!!! Check out my stretching routine.”
McNabb: “Aww man…I don’t want to see that…”
PS: Is there a limit on submissions?
Ponder. Peterson. Percy. Purple Perfection.
Ball boy starts to worry
“Hey Ponder. I think I found my missing balls.”
It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a Viking to raze a village.
Nascar...
Is that the thing where they drive around in circles for hours?
My girlfriend drove around in circles once, but that is just because her GPS is worthless.
D.M.: crap people are looking, gotta hide my wristband with the plays so I dont look dumb
C.P.: I’m ready coach put me in!
by Lunchpail on Feb 17, 2012 9:57 PM CST via mobile reply actions
The Timberwolves are relevant again
Ricky Rubio, Kevin Love and Nikola Pekovic are making it happen. I use to love going to wolves games in the KG era but since then I have gone to very few games. Starting to think its time to get tickets. Once baseball season starts then I’ll probably start watching the Twins. When football season starts I usually stop watching the others.
"none of us is a fan of the team" - Judd Zulgad (also fabricated the "schism" reports of 09')
Yeah, and good year to be good, too.
Seeing as they won’t have their first round draft choice anyway.
I’ve only ever been to one NBA game, and that was back when Sprewell was playing, before his kids got too hungry. But I have watched them on TV since then. Not this year, but I’d like to, it’s just that with 4 kids having moved in last summer, getting a chance to watch any sports is difficult, I pick my battles, and save them for the Viking games.
I did go to see a Lynx game last year in the playoffs, it was alot of fun. And I always go to a few Wild games, hockey is meant to be seen in person, it’s my favorite to see live.
Hey Kid
Get ready…they’ll have to put you in soon…I can’t keep missing them like this…I mean they’re wide open…maybe if I throw them into the dirt they’ll have to put you in then,yeah thats the ticket
Gee Mr.Mcnabb that would be swell…do they really give you soup?
A successful coach needs a patient wife, loyal dog, and great quarterback - and not necessarily in that order.
-- Bud Grant
by PurpleValhalla on Feb 17, 2012 10:13 PM CST reply actions
Ponder: Hey McNabb,let’s see you throw a pass that doesn’t land in the dirt.
McNabb: ice cream cone
Ponder: My dad played at Florida State
McNabb: (inaudible) Tripping Icarus (inaudible)
Ponder: I think my intelligence is a big advantage for me
McNabb: (inaudible) tricked me into donating $5000 (inaudible)
McNabb: (yells) Hey Kluwe will you take a personal check? (inaudible chuckle)
by dsludo on Feb 17, 2012 11:02 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
McNabb: Yo, Ponder, your hands aren’t cold?
Ponder: Not really, I’ve been throwing alot and trying to better myself. You should probably try it sometime.
McNabb: You’re a funny dude Ponder; Hey, cover for me real quick while I check out this Gatorade alright?
Ponder (underneath breath): Keep this shit up, and I’ll be starting by week 7.
If we can't laugh at ourselves, Packer fans will call us crybabies and we will be forced to kick their tooth in. I really don't want to go to jail (again).
by Alittlemore_cowbell on Feb 18, 2012 12:35 AM CST reply actions
McNabb: Ok, ha ha, funny. You really got me. This kid’s starting instead of me? That’s a pretty good.one. You can come on out now guys…
um… Guys?
by Loki Loves Purple on Feb 18, 2012 1:33 AM CST reply actions
McNabb: Hustle? Star QBs don’t hustle! We stand around and look cool. Like this…
by Loki Loves Purple on Feb 18, 2012 1:50 AM CST reply actions
Mc(Nabb) – Where IS that nickle?
Pondre – Get away from me.
Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." --Knute Rockne
Pondre means Ponder in France.
Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." --Knute Rockne
Ponder: Hey Donovan, you wanna see my new touchdown dance I’m working on? I think I want to make my thing ‘the shooting the guns’ thing that Shooter McGavin does in Happy Gilmore so that every time I throw a touchdown or run a touchdown or catch a touchdown I’ll run up the field pretending like I’m shooting up the defense. Maybe call it the Shooter McGavin? Shooter McGavin…bang bang What do you think Donovan?
Donovan: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chunky soup duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bounce pass duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." -Mark Twain
WHERE ARE ALL THE MCMUFFIN JOKES?!?!!
by statue_left on Feb 18, 2012 8:08 AM CST via iPhone app reply actions
Mechanics
[Next day of practice after the Detroit Lions game in September]
Ponder: Dude, really?
McNabb: Yeah, the coaches said I had to work on my technique this week.
Ponder: I don’t think that’s what they meant.
(In all seriousness, what kind of face is McNabb making?)
Caption
McNabb(whispers to himself): "tripping icarus sprinkles….tripping icarus sprinkles…..tripping icarus sprinkles….
Ponder: “Wow…seriously? C’mon man, I think he’d rather make sure the charity gets paid. You donated, right…….right?”
McNabb: “Yeah, dude. I got that. I’ll probably just drop it off around Christmas or whenever”
Ponder(under his breath): “Well, maybe you should practice so that you’re still here by Christmas.”
McNabb: “Now where’d Remi hide those donuts?”
White Horn Gold Pants
Caption
Ponder: So, I’m hearing you might be leaving soon?
McNabb: Huh? Naw, not me man. I’m in it for the long haul, however long it benefits me
Ponder: Um, Have you been reading the paper? Our record pretty much stinks!
McNabb: Paper, what’s that? You mean I’m gonna have to scam another team to give me money? Crap, I better call my agent and ask for a release!
Ponder: What if no one else sign’s you?
McNabb: Not sign me? How preposterous, I’m Batman! The NFL needs me! Maybe the Giants, or Pats, or or…..
Ponder: They already have Superbowl winning QB’s on those teams.
McNabb: But…..I’m Batman!……….quick Robin, to the Bat cave!……..Who’s with me?
Ponder (after staring blankly, with the team, at McNabb running away): Or a trip to the funny farm.
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is a war room!
As far as the Voting
Though viewing encompasses half of what you listed, except golf (I only play it, hate watching it), I do watch Auto racing as well, so hence, the Other vote.
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is a war room!
Non-funny Entry #3
Ponder: “Donovan, come on, let’s get going to practice!”
McNabb: “Sighhhhhhh. rolls eyes I don’t need to practice, because I’ve been doing this a LONG time.”
Ponder. Peterson. Percy. Purple Perfection.
hey Christian
Me and Tarvaris invented a new game basketfootball. TJ perfected the jump pass and I have the patented bounce pass what is going to be your signature move?
by SouthernNorseman on Feb 18, 2012 11:37 AM CST via mobile reply actions 3 recs
gotta rec this one
it was the only one that made me laugh out loud
when asked by Dan Patrick if his name alluded to not making quick decisions in the pocket, Ponder calmly replied "As crazy as it sounds, my mom's maiden name is actually Superbowlwinner. All one word"
Hilarious!
Ponder’s response?
“The completed pass”…
:)
by Loki Loves Purple on Feb 18, 2012 3:29 PM CST up reply actions
Hey Donovan... you were looking for a job, and the you found a job
Yes Christian… and Heaven knows I’m miserable now!
by blowfishes on Feb 18, 2012 1:26 PM CST via mobile reply actions
CP "So does it get to you when fans and the media complain about your low passes?"
DM “I tell you Christian, if I’m not around throwing those passes and causing everyone to protect themselves, players like Adrian Peterson and Toby Gerheart are gonna injure a knee one of these days!”
by blowfishes on Feb 18, 2012 1:39 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Ponder: Some-bodee! Somebody that I used to know.
by Bodysuit Man on Feb 18, 2012 4:50 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Lets dance
Ponder: Mcnabb wanna dance?Mcnabb: ( looks over) ok caoch not looking,Lets get our freak on.
CP: "Coach says he wants the ball delivered right on the numbers"
DM: “Did you not just see me hit that receiver right on his size 12s?”
by blowfishes on Feb 18, 2012 6:48 PM CST via mobile reply actions
CP: Hey Donovan, how’s it going with the mentions of Tripping Icarus?
DMcN: Man, I have no idea what that film is about.
by Beserker on Feb 18, 2012 7:00 PM CST via mobile reply actions
CP: Hey, I’m really getting the hang of the deep ball, that one must have gone 50 yards in the air. How’s your drill going?
DMcN: I think I just killed the guy with the down marker. Is that a felony in this state?
by Beserker on Feb 18, 2012 7:05 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Dm: hey Christian think they’ll let me hang out with the cheer-leaders if they release me?
CP: dude I’m busy practicing.
by Lunchpail on Feb 18, 2012 11:53 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
CP: "What are you looking at dude?"
DM: “Peter King has said that if I can’t improve, then I’d better start looking over my shoulder… I understand that comment as much as I do the regular season overtime rule!”
by blowfishes on Feb 19, 2012 3:57 AM CST via mobile reply actions
CP: “Can you believe that this team once started Tarvaris Jackson? A guy who was totally inconsistent, inaccurate, who crumbled under pressure, who was never able to set his feet, couldn’t learn the offence or want to work to improve, yet who thought it was everyone else’s fault but his! Can you believe that Brad Childress said he saw many of the qualities in him that he saw in you?!”
DM: “I know… Hey, do you think I could sue over copyright infringement?”
by blowfishes on Feb 19, 2012 4:21 AM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
The student becomes the master...
CP: “So Donovan, to summarize, an object moving in uniform circular motion is moving around the perimeter of the circle with a constant speed. While the speed of the object is constant, its velocity is changing. Velocity, being a vector, has a constant magnitude but a changing direction. The direction is always directed tangent to the circle and as the object turns the circle, the tangent line is always pointing in a new direction.”
DM: “Erm Coach… is this kid for real?!”
by blowfishes on Feb 19, 2012 7:40 AM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
DM: Hey CP, I watched this movie last night called Wag the Dog and it gave me an idea. I think i know how to get the media to quit hounding me about being benched.
CP: Hows that?
DM: Im gonna walk out of the showers in the buff when all the media is assembled. I remember all the attention that Shiancoe got a few years back and im pretty sure that he aint got nothin on me——yep pretty sure.
CP: I feel dirty!
DM: whats that behind me?
CP: your best days
by Norse on Feb 20, 2012 6:24 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Donovan: “Hold on….go back to the beginning. what’s a tie again?”
by Randytheviking17 on Feb 20, 2012 10:38 AM CST via Android app reply actions
donovan caption
stand on the sidelines, protect fragile hands from cold by putting in pockets, gaze at cheerleaders, get paid a few million and WATCH football…Priceless! the ultimate fan prize brought to you by Mastercard
I know I'm too late to qualify for the contest, but it can still be fun...
CP: Oh, no, did you just… in the huddle… again? I guess TO wasn’t lying. I am so out of here.
DM: I don’t feel so good.
CP: C’mon McNabb, keep up.
DM: Did you here that?
CP: What?
DM: The boos, I hear the boos.
CP: What boos?
DM: They booed Santa Clause. The horror, the horror. I still hear them. They’re everywhere. They’ll get to you, too.
CP: You’re scaring me, man.
DM: You should be scared. And it’s not just the boos. They throw snowballs. And that huge, bloated face. He’s talking about black, but all I can see is the black of that enormous mouth, it’s like it’s going to swallow me whole, while families dressed in green are pushing me towards it, booing me, throwing snowballs at me, mocking my every move. Make them stop!
CP: Coach! McNabb is having flashbacks again!
CP (muttering): I am so glad I didn’t bunk with him in Mankato. Kyle’s glowing touchdown Jesus display and snoring sure don’t seem so bad anymore…
Disclaimer: I have no idea if Kyle Rudolph snores, or has any Notre Dame replicas, much less with neon…
Ok, those were 2 different captions
There was a line of dashes between, but the interwebz ate them. The first two lines are one, the rest is another. Merge them together at your own risk, lol.
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