And now, a dash of poetry to celebrate the fact that everything you know about football is wrong.
Listen my children and you shall hear how we’ll knock the enemy on their ear..
(Yes, it does have something to do with Patriots, but with a twist.).
And, here presented below are the top secret, unpublished reasons why only your 2012 Minnesota Vikings will be capable of doing it their way: .
• Youth: What they lack in experience, they will make up in endurance in the fourth quarter (you know, the quarter when being ahead afterward actually matters the most). .
• Running backs: No other team has Adrian Peterson plus Toby Gerhart, which enables them to run people into the ground and draw in the secondary so that they can launch the air attack and/or demolish defensive backs with run blocks from tight ends. Have you ever noticed what happens whenever Adrian gets to the edge? .
• The element of surprise: They’re being mentioned far and wide as "rebuilding" and as ‘’at least one of the five worst teams. " Well, you know, nothing replaces overconfidence with fear like learning the hard way that the guy you have just declared to be "just a midget" actually has a black belt and can throw stars and swing nunchucks. Don’t let the sword hit you on the way out. .
• A set of four mix-and-match tight ends, ones who can block, run routes, and catch footballs. .
• A deep threat, one known for going airborne on purpose after the catch. .
• An elusive receiver, one known for stretching an inch into a mile. .
• An experienced possession receiver, one who stands tall in the red zone. .
• An observation: Have you noticed a trend in which people it was the Vikings kept in their secondary for this year at roster cut?: ( No, not the good, the bad, and the ugly.) The tall ones and the fast ones. Think that is not important? Think again. Variations upon the Tampa 2 can still work, provided you can create enough turnovers. .
• A fact: It’s hard to make that return game shine and get a short field when the kick off instead goes past the end line, leaving you eighty yards or so to travel. .
Yes, I know one thing alone won’t let you crack that big safe readily, without damaging the contents, but having the entire proper combination available to you will simply do the trick. .
And friends, I’ll stop right here, and not reveal behind that curtain… (Figure the rest of it out for yourselves, Packers. You’re going to need that new and improved defense.) .
Yes, my fellow Americans, I am quite familiar with Achilles’ pre-existing medical condition and what it is that happens to Emperor Palentine after he introduces that "fully armed and operational battle station." I also remember the surprise door prize on Custer’s face when he went out on that party to rock and roll over a few Native Americans over at the Little Big Horn. The point to be taken here is: he who is surprised last is surprised most. So, one if by land and two if by air, they’ll give them a tomahawk in their hair. .
Yes, Kemosabe, I do know many people these days think NFL football is now all about the passing attack. Please recall from history that the run play did not dutifully leave the game because Pop Warner and his tribe started successfully tossing the pigskin forward in 1907. Yes, what is it that Michael Vick, and Tim Tebow, and Cam Newton also do?.
Yes, rules have changed over the years, and will change again, but running the football is still legal, and when you do it well, whatever your scheme you may use for toting it, the clock drains faster. The defense stays on the field, having to react to every play, getting tired in the process whenever they are foiled. When one’s every defensive guess and disguise just gets one deeper in trouble, it grates on the nerves and rattles the soul. Sixteen downs, that do you get? Getting tired is bad, because the offense gets to pick what they will do with the football. The smart offense lets the defense pick whatever they intend to do to stop things, and then it reads and executes a poisonous Plan B, for which whatever the defense is doing becomes a fatally mistaken choice. .
In the hour of darkness and peril and need, the people will waken to ponder the sight. A new kind of offense will take to the field with its jolting message of Kung Fu might..
It was a little bit frightening. Those cats were fast as lightning..
And here’s to you Mr. Robinson, run right up and take that ball away. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey! .
Goodnight to you, Mr. Longfellow, wherever you are….