FanPost

Yes Mick, Just What the Doctor Ordered

Doubters Dumbstruck

Worried about that shaky Blair Walsh now???

So, tell me again: Exactly how many PAT's did Blackmon block??? You can draft for whatever team hires you. The Big Zyg and I will stand pat with Spielman.

So Aromashodu can't catch, huh? I didn't quite make those words out in the Jag's locker room.



That's What I'm Talking About!

So they think the Minnesota Vikings are going to be just another run-of-the-mill club fighter this season, eh? Well, Rocky, Mickey Goldmill has other ideas. It's about combinations. You set them up with one thing, then you hurt them with something different.

"Going in one more round when you don't think you can - that's what makes all the difference in your life." -Mickey

Since they fought a good fight, let's bask a second in highlights from ringside and my corner. Just never linger there too long.

The fight starts off badly. Don't stand around with the ball Ponder! You have no time to solve quadratic equations out there. If there's nothing you see worthwhile, heave the darnthing over the yardstick guy's head. You lost the football, a cardinal sin. Ouch! The Jags have just clobbered us with a touchdown.

It seems like we got nothin'. What can a rookie offensive tackle do for you now, our opponent may be thinking. How about he smacks your extra point try back at you?

Nine is fine. A double witches' number. We can work with that. Nice curse. Now we have put a spell on them!!!

Let's get it going. Jab them with Harvin. Now use an uppercut from Peterson. Touchdown Vikings!

We get that football back. Peterson. Harvin. Peterson, Peterson again! Touchdown Vikings!

You're hurting him, Rocky, you're hurting him!

But our opponent thinks he still as the fight in him. Have Robison knock his third down pass in the dirt. Make them settle for less. Now they know they're in a fight.

Second half now. Keep them on the ropes. Hit them with the deadpan Borg stare. "Resistence is futile."

Okay. It's time to knock them out. Defense. It's the fourth quarter and we're up by 5! Five more minutes! Five, alive. We've been shuttling people in and out. Whatever the EPA says about your engine, the more gas you can deliver to it, the more miles you should go. We can do this!

Oh no, Mr Cook! We're going to show you this on film. You and your friends must never do that again. I have no idea what coverage was supposed to be in there, but I'm looking in ammunition catalogs right now. Now our back is against the wall with just a handful of seconds remaining on the clock.

That's it, Ponder! Do the zombie thing. Keep coming, even though they think you're already dead.

Two passes with some good yards each and kill the clock. Now bring in that kid from Bulldog country. It's only a 55 yard shot; that is merely the second longest thing made in Viking history. It is all we're asking here. Let's not focus on fives being a curse. Remember, Wild Bill's hand was aces and eights. This is doable. Show them what fans like seeing in the pinch Between the Hedges down in Athens.

No Problemo, into OT, Day One!!!

When you are tired, it never hurts to have those gods on Olympus give you a pat on the back. (Who cares if they call it illegal touching?) I'm still mad at the replacement refs for that call on Letroy Guion. Give me a break!

... The Vistors call the coin. The gods spin the coin. Those fools want heads? Make it tails. Tails never fails!!!

How does it go now??? Under the new OT rules, you need either six to win or a 3 and a stop. Something like that. Take the three. (Don't go all Brett Favre on me.) Defense wins football games. OK, kittie kats, four oopsies and you're out. D+Fence! Make that fourth down ball drop incomplete. Great!!! Now fire off those cannons. GAME OVER!

Yes. Tight ends, the multipurpose tool. They're still good for running. Throw a pair in your recipe, and we hear them snap, crackle, and pop. Who really wants to get in an "injured, old" Adrian Peterson's way? Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right this way! Yeah, he's still worried about that collar bone, isn't he???---NOT!

Stop all those oh-the-humanity pleas for time and patience. This man in not a foster child. He's called All Day. He came here to play football, not for hop scotch. You wimpy guys stop trying to psych us out of using the death ray on you!!!

No, I must admit,we all make mistakes. Even yours truly: I confess, some days Kyle Rudolph does not catch every ball, but when he does...

"Counterpunch, Rock, counter!!!"

Ugh. We need some more work in the gym. Sisyphus told me to never let your Rock get away from you.

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a <em>community</em>, that view is no less important.

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