Vikings Mock Draft, Ted Style

This man wants you to know what he thinks about mock drafts - Ted Glover

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it

Okay, so for whatever reason, you people seem to think that I might have some kind of insight to what the Vikings might need this off-season because of this post and this post.

Some of you have even taken those posts and interpreted what you think I said coughCCNorsemancough based on the two off season needs posts. While I am beyond flattered that you folks still want to know what my opinion is after three years writing here, and you guys want to know what my mock draft would look like, I'm still pretty reticent to do so.

Why?

Because mock drafts for me are like Justin Morneau is to staying healthy...it's not something you should associate with me. It's not that I don't care who the Vikings draft, it's just that I don't follow college football outside the Big Ten and the major programs. So to help me out, I asked two people for some advice, MarkSP18...and my father.

Mark gave me sound, logical advice, some great websites to reference, and a good, overall philosophy about mock drafts in general.

But this is pretty much the conversation I had with my father:

Me: Dad, I'm getting ready to do a mock draft post for the site. Who do you like?

Dad: A what..for the what?

Me: A mock draft for Daily Norseman.

Dad: What the hell is a mock draft?

Me: It's kind of like weekly predictions for the games, except instead of predicting the scores of games, we predict who the Vikings will draft.

Dad: For the first round?

Me: For all the rounds.

Dad: Well hell son, the Vikings can't pick half a dozen decent guys in a draft. What makes you think you can?

Exactly, Dad. Exactly.

But first, my methodology--I'm prioritizing my mock draft off of two things: 1) positions of need and best player available, and 2) names I recognize. Does that mean somebody other than a name I recognize might be the best player available? You bet it does. But do I care? No, not really, because I want to cheer for players I'm familiar with.

But because this seems like something I should probably get smart about, and it's also something I announced on Twitter that I would do, may I present to you my first...and quite possibly only...Vikings 2013 Mock Draft.

Round 1 (23 Overall): Jonathan Hankins, DT, Ohio State. So some of you might think I felt CB was a bigger need than DT based on my off-season needs post...and you'd probably be right. But the other options that are probably available are guys from the ACC and the SEC. No offense, but screw those conferences. Hankins is a guy that eats blocks and has the potential to be the next Kevin Williams. O-H-I-O, bitches.

Round 2 (52 Overall): Aaron Dobson, WR, Marshall. Randy Moss went to Marshall. Aaron Dobson went to Marshall. Randy Moss was awesome. Randy Moss got drafted by the Vikes. The Vikings need a wide receiver. Fill in the blanks.

Round 3 (83 Overall): John Simon, OLB, Ohio State. Am I maybe favoring Ohio State guys? Duh, probably. Do I care? No, I don't. Simon is a beast, and could make an outstanding OLB at the NFL level. His shoulder injuries have dropped him, and Urban Meyer loves him as much as he loves Tim Tebow. If he's available and the Vikings don't pick him up, I will RAGE. RAGERAGERAGERAGERAGE

Round 4 (99 Overall): Will Davis, CB, Utah State. I don't know anything about him other than he's a CB and the Vikings need answers long term at the position. Giddy up.

Round 4 (117 Overall): Tyrann Matthieu, CB, LSU. Honey Badger don't give a damn. Vikes need defensive backs, and I don't give a damn if you like this pick. Biggest risk/reward pick in Spielman's history.

Round 5 (148 Overall): Le'Veon Bell, RB, Michigan State. Because Toby Gerhart is going to get traded, that's why.

Round 6 (166 Overall): Denard Robinson, WR, Michigan. Here's the deal--I hate Michigan, and I can't stand Denard Robinson. And Mark even gave me an out here--he recommended Reid Fragel, and gave legitimate reasons why he might be a good pick here. His actual quote was this:

For example, Reid Fragel would be a nice sixth round pick if he lasts that long. He has good athleticism being a former tight end and could be a nice replacement for Loadholt eventually.

I agree. Fragel started out at OSU as a TE, but he had a standout year as a starting tackle in his first year at that position. But because I am a magnanimous mofo, and because I think the Vikings need WR's more than they need tackles, I'm going with Robinson. That sumbitch just has that...something...that makes you sit on the edge of your seat every time he makes it past the line of scrimmage. And if on the off chance this report is accurate, the Vikings will need playmakers. Forgive me, Buckeye fans.

Round 6 (179 Overall): Reid Fragel, T, Ohio State. Suck it, Michigan. BOOM, BITCHES!!

Round 7 (213 Overall): Travis Howard, CB, Ohio State. Could I have picked Ryan Otten, a good TE prospect out of San Jose State? Yes. Could I have picked Bruce Taylor, an ILB out of Virginia Tech that might be a long term answer at MLB? Yep. Did I pick Howard because he's an OSU guy? Partly...but look at his stats. He had four picks for a secondary that was pretty up and down, and had a knack for making a big play when it was needed.

So there. 4 OSU guys, Denard Robinson, Le'Veon Bell, and the Honey Badger. Like it? Hate it?

Teddy Badger don't give a damn, but I do hope you find this entertaining, and at least 50% believable.

SKOL!

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