With many rumors swirling on what it took to win Greg Jennings, this is the inside story from a very reliable source who was able to capture the play-by-play events leading up to the signing of the star wide receiver.
Setting: Greg Jennings, Jared Allen, Rick Spielman, Leslie Frazier, and Bill Musgrave eating at an undisclosed restaurant somewhere in Minneapolis. After enjoying a full course meal, the men and Billy get down to business.
Greg: Thanks guys for this meal. That steak was out of control. We have nothing like this in Green Bay.
Jared shakes in anger at the words Green Bay
Leslie: We have great food like this all over the city. You'll love it.
Greg: And they bring out a live lobster like that.
Billy: Yeah, it's so cool. Mr. Spielman said if I'm good I can play with it, if I ask nicely.
Rick: That's right buddy, and what did we learn last time Billy?
Billy: Don't remove the rubber bands to shoot at people. Mr. Jennings, those lobsters can pinch really hard.
Greg: Um, yeah, I guess that's why they put bands on the pinchers.
Billy: I know now. Want to see a picture of my puppy?!
Greg: Yo Jared, what's wrong with him?
Jared: Just ignore it bro, he's been a little funny since they told him that Joe Webb would be starting the playoff game.
Rick: Greg, I would like to talk a little more about the opportunities we can offer you here in lovely Minnesota.
Leslie: Absolutely, I think our offense is really tailored to your skills.
Billy: Yeah! So I've been working on this new play, it's a winner, look!
Billy pulls out a crumpled piece of paper with crayon drawings all over it.
Leslie: Hey Billy, bud, you can show Mr. Jennings that later. Okay?
Billy starts to pout
Greg: It's all good buddy. We can look at it tomorrow, alright?
Billy smiles and gives a reassuring nod
Rick: Here Billy, play some Angry Birds. Just remember not to scream at the pigs, they can't hear you.
Billy: YES! Die piggies!
Rick: Sorry about that Greg. It's past his bedtime. Where were we?
Greg: You were talking about opportunities.
Greg's phone buzzes. He looks at the text and puts the phone back down
Jared: Yeah, you like to hunt? Holy smokes, we can hunt anything here. Seriously, want to come wolf hunting this winter. Yeah, wolves, the damn things almost hunt you back. My boat is like sick fast too. Last year I caught a Muskie longer than Christian's passes, haha, na just kidding. It was way longer.
Greg: What? Why would I hunt wolves? Muskie? Na, I'll pass. Thanks Jared. So what's the deal with Ponder? I heard all that stuff in the news with Ponder and Percy. And did Percy really throw a weight at you?
Rick: Well, it was great to have Percy with the team. He's a special player with such passion for the game. He's held with such great respect here, but both parties felt it better to part ways. Christian is our quarterback of the future. We are a team looking at many ways to continue building a team for...
Greg: Leslie, what is he saying?
Leslie: Using the words Percy and Ponder in the same sentence sets off some kind of trigger for him. He thinks he's in a press conference. Hey Rick, bud, remember where you are?
Rick looks around and suddenly turns red from embarrassment
Rick: Sorry about that, you know how it is with a developing quarterback.
Greg: Not really.
Leslie: And no, Percy didn't intentionally throw the weight at me. It slipped.
Greg's phone buzzes again, he gives a short chuckle and puts the phone back down
Rick: Um, so yeah. Let's talk some business, so this is what we are thinking about money...
Greg: I think we should wait till tomorrow Rick, you know, so my agent can be here and all.
Greg's phone buzzes again
Leslie: Sure, we can just enjoy some good dessert, the cheese cake here is...
Greg: Man, if there's something I'm sick of it's cheese and of course that stupid discount double check.
Jared turns red and shakes with anger at the thought of Aaron Rodgers
Greg: Guys, thanks for the dinner, but I think we are going to have to continue this tomorrow.
Greg's phone starts to ring to the tone of Ke$ha's Tik Tok
Greg: Yo, you here bro. Awesome.
Rick: I'm sorry Greg, I didn't know you had other plans.
Greg: It's just Adrian. He's outside, we're going to go hang.
Jared: AD's outside? Can I come?
Billy: MVP! MVP! MVP!
Greg: Hey, can Jared come with? Okay cool, yeah, we're coming.
Greg nods to Jared.
Rick: Why doesn't AD come in and have some dessert?
Greg: I think he's still a little upset over the Percy and Winfield thing.
Leslie: That's alright. You guys go have fun. Jared, make sure you're home on time tonight. I don't need another phone call from your wife.
Jared nods and Greg and Jared get up from the table
Greg: Check you guys tomorrow. Billy, high five buddy!
Billy high fives Greg and starts giggling in excitement
Rick and Leslie: Bye!
Greg and Jared leave. Rick turns to Leslie
Rick: How did Adrian know Greg would be here? I thought he said he was locking himself in the lab to continue work on his bionics whatevers.
Leslie: I called him yesterday on the "red-line". He wasn't happy about being interrupted mid experiment and all, but he agreed he was needed.
Rick: Jeez, he'll never give me the number to the "red-line."
Billy: HOW YOU NOT DIE PIG?!
Leslie and Rick: BILLY!
Later that evening at AD's place. AD just beat Greg in Madden
Greg: Dude, that wasn't fair. You just ran the entire time.
AD: To the tune of 347 yards and 5 TD's. I beat the Pack every time on here. Just like in real life.
Jared: Sick burn AD.
Jared goes back to his fishing magazine
Greg: Doesn't he have like a wife and his own home?
AD: He's scared of his wife. I had to talk to her about him staying late.
Greg: Oh, that's tough. Is that why he cut the mullet?
AD: Shhh... We don't talk about that, but yeah. It was a tough day for him.
Jared: I could have kept the mullet if I wanted too. She doesn't tell me what to do!
AD: I know bud, you wear the pants JA.
Jared goes back to the magazine
AD: Let's play again, this time we'll play on the same team.
Greg: Dude, you gonna pass the ball this time? I ain't gonna play if it's a hand off to you every time.
AD: Greg, with you on the team, there will be someone to actually throw too.
Greg: You're right AD. It's way better to play with you. That was a sick game. Can Ponder really throw like that in real life?
AD: Yeah, well, most of the time.
Greg: What happens if he craps out again? I want passes out there.
AD: Don't worry, we have Matt Cassel now.
Both guys bust out laughing
Greg: Oh boy, the Razzle Dazzle Matt Cassel.
AD: I know bro, but seriously. We have Ponder's wife. Sam's a beast. She can jump in at anytime, we'll be alright.
Greg: Hmm... Alright man. I've been dying to come play with you. If you believe Ponder will get me the ball, I'm sold. Plus, I seriously hate that discount double check thing. Will be so glad not to see that day in and day out.
And that's how the Minnesota Vikings landed Greg Jennings.