"Son, I've made a life out of reading people's faces, knowing what their cards were by the way they held their eyes." - Don Schlitz, "The Gambler"

Or, as Bullwinkle said to Rock after the show, you don't need a Stuxnet worm to make your enemies barf, but when the worm turns, the stomachs of the bamboozled do too.

If you thought the purpose of the preseason was to show you what the Vikings have, you are dead wrong. So, do you feel lucky, punk? Your inquiring mind wants to know. Is Leslie Frazier holding a royal straight flush, or isn't he? Please, don't send him an e-mail. Even if he trusts you are offering a major ton of money for the answer, he is going to stand pat with the sound of silence. He paid a price for that Super Bowl ring he has, and he wants an unmatched set.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to believe. When we open the box, is Joe Webb alive or not? Yes, Rumsfeld muttered, it's those unknown unknowns that get you if you don't watch out. In poker, and in football, we don't want the other guy to know what we're holding. You crazy fools can keep your Indian poker if you like, but don't tell me, over, and over, and over again, you don't believe we're on the eve of deception.

So, it's a slow day. Let's ask ourselves All Day how many yards this year. Oh, 64 hundred; Tell the Lions I plan to get 800 on opening day, just to have a nice cushion. Who is that laughing in the shower? It's not Alfred Hithcock. I think it's Mr. Christian. Sure, you think I'm old and have seen too many movies. That's just what I'm counting on. How much did you say you got paid yesterday?

Yes, you think Leslie is a smiling sap. You wonder why they pay a broken down guy like his old roomie, Singletary. Ever been bitten by a rabid dog? Guess you've never fully understood the good cop-bad cop thing, have you, Mr. Jones?.

Yeah, you think the guy with the Gerhart jersey is bonkers, but then you don't know two-thirds of his triplet sisters are watching the dogs for him. The joke's on you.

You see, some folks want to wait until all the facts are in. If you go down the road that far, you often discover the correct answer is you should have exited the expressway two states back, and you're out of gas to boot.

Sure, you see that Ponder is reading the wrong half of the field. What if he was told to do that for homework? Maybe the Oregon Duck is Daffy, or maybe he's crazy like a fox.

Yep, liar's poker. Now there's something for you to ponder.

I've seen things from a lot of positions. I played guard once. Coach never warned me the nose tackle would try to pants me. From whence did that technique originate? People are sneaky, not funny, Mr. Linkletter. It's the truck you never see coming that hits you.

So enjoy the real football season. I always loved the part where Emperor Palpantine announces the fully operational Death Star. The old shell game gets them every time. What part of energy guns do not need to appear perfectly round fooled you? Before D-Day, there were inflated rubber armored divisions sunbathing all over Britain. Get the picture, Adolf?

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a community, that view is no less important.

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