First look at the Vikings Schedule, Part 1

After a day of waiting for the Vikings (and the rest of the NFL) to release their schedule, rubes of the prognostication variety are free to make shit up regarding the 2014 Vikings season. Without further ado, here's my take of the first eight games of the 2014 Vikings season:

Sunday, Sep. 7, at St. Louis, 1:00 p.m.: This is going to be an interesting opener for the Vikings. For the sixth time in seven years, the Vikings open their season on the road (the exception being 2012). This game should be a very good opening test for the Vikings new defense, as the biggest threats for the Rams on offense are Tavon Austin, Jared Cook, and Zac Stacy, who are a nice trio of offensive playmakers that should test the Vikings a little. It seems to me that the biggest fight in this game will be the Vikings D against an up-and-coming Rams D, which has several serious playmakers along the line, including Robert Quinn and Chris Long. I could see this game going either way, but I think the Vikings superior number of playmakers on offense wins them their opener. Score: Vikings 28, Rams 21

Sunday, Sep. 14, New England, 1:00 p.m.: An interesting season opener is followed by an even more interesting home opener. This will likely be one of the last looks Vikings fans ever get at Tom Brady, and unfortunately we see him in the waning years of his career. Not only is Brady getting older and less skillful, so is the New England offense. Despite reaching the AFC Championship game, Brady had one of the least consistent WR corps I have ever seen. He lost one of his TE's to a somewhat under-exaggerated mishap in the offseason, and Gronk was as inconsistently healthy as ever. As long as Brady is at the reigns of their offense, they are capable of beating anyone. However, if the Vikings defense wants to prove that it has turned over a new leaf with the new coach, beating the Patriots will do that. The Patriots D has been somewhat under-rated over the last few seasons, but after adding a number of talented DB's this offseason, the Patriots have a vastly improved D. It will be interesting to see what they can do with this talent. As much as I love my Vikings, I can't see them winning this game, but I think they put up a fight. Score: Vikings 28, Patriots 35

Sunday, Sep. 21, at New Orleans, 1:00 p.m.: If the Vikings want revenge for Bountygate, this is a great time and place for them to get it. Despite the appearance of having about as much cap room as a Packers fan has sense, the *Saints still managed to go out into the FA market and sign Champ Bailey and Jarius Byrd. Ugh. F*** the *Saints. Anyway, the Vikings will have yet another massive test for their defense, as Drew Brees is no slouch in the QB department. They also have a large number of weapons on offense, and when Sean Payton is at the helm, rarely struggle to score points. Over the last few years, it has been the Saints D that has been the most inconsistent point of the team. Despite being in the top half of most defensive categories last season, the Saints are not too far removed from having literally the worst scoring defense in the NFL. Facing the Saints at home will likely be too much for the Vikings, but again, the coaching of Mike Zimmer keeps them competitive. Score: Vikings 24, Saints 34

Sunday, Sep. 28, Atlanta, 4:25 p.m.: Considering the struggles of the Falcons last season, this game might just be the easiest game for the Vikings thus far in the season. Much of the Falcons struggles last year had to do with injuries to a large number of key personnel, plus the fact that they rarely had a running game to speak of. Their defense never seemed all that great either. I would imagine this game will largely hinge upon the health of Roddy White and Julio Jones. If they are healthy, the Vikings will have a harder time winning. If one or both of them are injured, the Vikings chances of winning go way up. Despite making a few big splashes in FA (signing Paul Soliai and Tyson Jackson), the Falcons D is still a mess, and it would not surprise me if they leaned heavily towards improving their D this draft cycle. All in all, I think the Vikings have the better team, and they win this game to get themselves back to .500. Score: Vikings 35, Falcons 21

Thursday, Oct. 2, at Green Bay, 8:25 p.m.: Nice. Finally a Thursday night game I actually might watch. God I hope this turns out better than the shitstorm that landed in our faces last year at the Meadowlands. Once again the Packers have done little to improve their team (and probably strengthened ours by signing Letroy Guion, but let's not make too many candy from a baby jokes here), and this combined with the improvements made by Mike Zimmer over the course of the year so far have the Vikings turning in their finest performance of the year to date. They sack Aaron Rodgers five times, cause three fumbles (returning two for touchdowns), and decapitate Eddie Lacy, who surprisingly turned out to be a zombie lost off the set of The Walking Dead. Score: Vikings 42, Packers 7

Sunday, Oct. 12, Detroit, 1:00 p.m.: NEW HEAD COACH FIGHT! ROUND 1! Ready? Set? GOOOOOOOOO! Despite Jim Caldwell overseeing an offense more anemic than Dracula himself, the Lions for some reason thought he might be able to bring their team some stability. Yes, the stability that comes with having an offensive style that is about as hit-and-miss as a dinosaur's ability to reach its face with its hands (no Sharrif, I am not making another joke about you). The Lions nearly defeat the Vikings, but the fact that their kicker suddenly keels over dead on the field after missing six straight kicking attempts caused a bit of a damper for everyone present. Score: Vikings 34, Lions 18

Sunday, Oct. 19, at Buffalo, 1:00 p.m.: You know, I would make more jokes about Buffalo, but I don't think this city cares enough anymore, and neither do I. Vikings stomp the yard and kick some ass. Score: Vikings 17, Bills 0

Sunday, Oct. 26, at Tampa Bay, 1:00 p.m.: OLD HEAD COACH VS. NEW HEAD COACH FIGHT! ROUND 1! Ready? Set? GOOOOOOOOOO!! Yes, it is already time for the infamous "ex-coach vs. new coach game," where Leslie Frazier cries five times during the game while he watches the Vikings stomp the yard (in a Broadway production of Stomp the Yard, ironically enough) against his old, shit-ass defense. Vikings beat the shit out of the Bucs. Score: Vikings 56, Bucs 2

This FanPost was created by a registered user of The Daily Norseman, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of the site. However, since this is a community, that view is no less important.

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