Anyone who follows the NFL knows that the time between the Super Bowl and the draft is something we unofficially call The Silly Season. Fortunately for us, just as things start ramping up towards the ridiculous, we get to the actual draft, real players are picked by real teams, and real GM's and coaches come out to real press conferences to proclaim that really, This Guy Is Awesome.
Under normal circumstances, the draft would already be over. This time last year, we were basking in the post coital glow of three first round draft picks, to include a big trade to get back into the first round to draft Cordarrelle Patterson. We were bickering back and forth (in a congenial and happy manor, as is our lot here at DN) about whether or not The Trade was worth it or not worth it, the new stadium design, new uniforms, and discussing our three first round picks.
AND WOOOOOOOO MIKE MAUTI WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
We were also shocked to discover, after the fact, that Shariff Floyd has short arms. Tragically short arms.
That short armed post was a mock post I made about the rumor of Floyd dropping because of something really stupid. If Floyd was in the draft this year, and that rumor was hitting the street now, with 10 days to go...by draft day Shariff Floyd would be considered a double amputee that was only three feet tall.
Think I'm nuts?
Consider the case of Teddy Bridgewater. He's gone from the 'Tank For Teddy' campaign (which we here at DN never got on board with), to not being considered a first round pick. Well, at least not according to Mike Mayock, a guy Vikings fan are familiar with as the pre-season color analyst on games, and a highly respected personnel guy. As a matter of fact, Mayock's re-done his position rankings. Here's what he has for quarterbacks:
1. Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
2. Blake Bortles, Central Florida
3. Derek Carr, Fresno State
4. Jimmy Garoppolo, Eastern Illinois
T-5. Zach Mettenberger, LSU
T-5. Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville
That's correct, kids. Mike Mayock has moved Jimmy Garoppolo, he of the third or fourth round, ahead of Teddy Bridgewater, and tied with Zach Mettenberger.
I thought he was nuts. But then I read about his skinny knees:
I've actually heard from a few NFL people about Bridgewater having skinny knees. Fear it leaves him unprotected to hits there. @RobKramar— Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) April 27, 2014
And his comparison to a terrible quarterback. That doesn't even exist:
I present you with the greatest QB comparison ever. An AFC North coach compared Bridgewater to...Willie Beaman. I'm not making this up.— Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) April 14, 2014
I mean, COME ON MAN. Teddy Bridgewater went from the best quarterback in the draft in January to a skinny kneed Willie Beamon?
Floyd and the short arms deal are one thing, and actually, that can be a concern with defensive linemen, because not having long enough arms can adversely effect a guy in his ability to separate from his counterpart. Still, the 'short arms' that Floyd was suddenly afflicted with last year was stupid. And it caused him to drop out of the top 10 and into the Vikings lap. And the same thing could happen to Bridgewater next Thursday.
But skinny knees? We have jumped the shark. And I'm going to predict this:
Within two or three days, yet another scout will question that if Bridgewater does, in fact, 'get fatter in the knees, it will limit his mobility. It's a miracle this guy can walk in a straight line.'
It's gotten so bad that Bridgewater has taken out a $5 million insurance policy. Health insurance? No. Car insurance for the sweet ride he's going to get? Nope. Homeowner's Insurance for the mansion he's going to be able to afford?
A Loss Of Value policy. Basically, if he falls out of the first round, and he can prove it was due to injury or illenss, he can collect said $5 million. By the way, that's tax free, son.
Does 'Skinny Knee Syndrome' count as an injury? I don't know, but at this point, I wouldn't be surprised to see Dr. Oz come on ESPN and give us a schematic breakdown of how much fat is considered acceptable in the knee.
And this is over one player.
I shudder to think what we'll read and hear about these next ten days, although we should collect it all, and submit it as evidence as to why the NFL should not move the draft back into the month of May ever again.