Dear Chris,
I've been a fan of yours for several years. The Vikings are really the only professional sports team I care about, and I thought you always did a decent job as a punter for my team. But honestly I've much more enjoyed your "non-football" activities. Your game nerd/rock musician/punter persona was cool to me, even though I'm none of those things. And you clearly have a good sense of humor, as I first really noticed with that Downfall parody short you did during the NFL lockout. I'd joke with some other non-Viking fan friends of mine about how you were clearly the coolest punter in the NFL.
But that was before you upped your game, big time, by speaking out for LGBTQ rights, first of all against that heinous ballot initiative in my home state of Minnesota. That was terrific and very meaningful, as has been your ongoing activism since then. I think it's important when professional athletes take a stand against sexism and homophobia, particularly in a sport as macho as American football where that sort of thinking is all too common. I liked how you continued to use humor to parry your detractors, and your obvious dedication to the cause. This time, even friends of mine who knew nothing about football talked about how cool you were.
Then came your Deadspin story at the beginning of this year about your experience with the Vikings and particularly with special teams coach Mike Priefer. I can't say I was surprised, unfortunately, both because of what I'd heard of Priefer, and because of the culture of NFL teams. My inclination then, and still now, was to believe your accusations that Priefer made grossly inappropriate remarks for which he should be fired, and that negative feelings within the Vikings organization about your activism at least partially contributed to your release from the team. I felt--and still feel--that you were well within your rights to seek some sort of redress, and more importantly to make a point about discrimination faced by LGBTQ folks--or even straight allies who do advocacy--in workplaces. That's way, way more important than football, so if my team takes a fall in the process, so be it.
The most recent news about a short suspension for Priefer, a partially released report from the Vikings, and your decision to sue the organization doesn't change much for me. Of course more info will come out, but overall I'm still in your corner, suspicious of the Vikings, and of the mind that Priefer should be fired given that he admitted he suggested "nuking" an island full of gay people (in most professional workplaces where I work in New York City, whether or not you should be fired for that sort of thing wouldn't even be a question).
Now the criticism part. Some of your responses on Twitter were very disappointing--I hope they were a spur-of-the-moment thing, and that you're not too proud to admit that you went off the rails. Like all red-blooded Americans I love a good jab at the NSA, but then you immediately go into your willingness to "play dirty," which to me came off as macho and childish (I was reading these in real-time). Then you copped to the fact that you made some sort of off-color joke about Jerry Sandusky. Believe me, I've made god-knows how many horrible off-color jokes, and I ain't the cast-the-first-stone type. But instead of just admitting that child abuse and rape jokes are inappropriate in any workplace, and that you were wrong, you downplayed it and said "over half the team did it for over a month," as if that makes it okay. Again, an immature response in my view, with an oddly "boys will be boys" tone to it that we see from so many defenders of homophobia in the NFL.
Perhaps most perturbing to me, you tweeted "Oooh, shall we talk about the time two very well known Vikings players were caught in a compromising situation with an underage girl..." First of all, the gossipy "oooh" seems inappropriate if we are really talking about a case of sexual abuse. Second, if a serious crime was committed, why did you stay silent at the time? To suddenly bring it up now makes it seem like you are doing so out of pique.
So, you're mad at the Vikings, and I think you have very good reason to be. But the problem I'm having here is that your tone sounds exactly like that of those whom you have rightfully criticized--a macho, shit-talking, immature jock who doesn't take full responsibility for his behavior. We live in a patriarchal society, and from that we get sexism and homophobia and all manner of other problems stemming from the dominance of heterosexual men. I know that you know this. Among the other problems include a tendency for dudes to get in pissing contests where things are said like "want to play dirty, we can talk about ALL sorts of stuff" and "We can do this all day, Vikings. Special teams hears everything" and "But we'll save all that for the trial. It'll be more fun that way."
Except, Chris, that none of this is "fun," remember? When you talk like that, you sound like a 12-year-old, or an NFL idiot, and you can't afford to do that right now. Why? Because you specifically said this case isn't about you, it's about homophobia in the workplace. That's a noble mission to be on, as is your commitment to sending any money from a lawsuit to LGBTQ causes. But that means it can't be about you, it can't be about trying to get the Vikings, and you can't reproduce the same macho, shit-talking, my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours patter than is so often part and parcel of homophobia. You need to be better than that.
I hope you make your case well and that this whole affair is seen as a win for LGBTQ rights in the workplace in the end, even if it causes mad drama for my team in the meantime, but I don't think you're doing yourself--and more importantly the larger cause--favors at the moment.
In solidarity,
A Viking Fan in New Jersey Called "dandyfop"