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Simmons Hits the Nail on the Head

By Christopher Gates

If you'll recall, the last time Bill Simmons of ESPN.com's Page 2 did an NFL Power Poll back on 27 October, he had the Vikings rated as the #8 team in the NFL.  He even went so far as to label them the "Adam Sandler team," and described them like this:

You know how Sandler's movies consistently make more money than anyone else in Hollywood, but if somebody argued in a room full of people that Sandler was the biggest movie star alive, everyone would think that person was crazy? Well, the Vikings are a little like that. They hang around, don't make mistakes, force 1-2 dumb turnovers a game and control the football with a superior offensive line (their one true strength). And if that's not enough, their Ewing Theory potential with Culpepper and Moss is off the charts. But if somebody claimed they had a chance to win the Super Bowl, everyone would pull the "You're crazy!" routine. Let's see what happens on Monday night against the Pats. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

Well, folks, that was 1 win and 5 losses ago.

Now, in his most recent NFL Power Poll, he puts the Vikings in a somewhat. . .different. . .category, to say the least:

LINGERING LIKE A STALE FART

20. Minnesota

So much for the whole, "if you can run the ball and stop the run, you will win games in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!" argument. Merrill, Steve, Sean, Joe, Michael, TJ, Howie, Boomer, Dan, Cris ... you guys are no longer allowed to say this. And Shannon, you're no longer allowed to try to say this.

(Important note: Just to clear up the confusion, by definition, Brad Johnson is STILL a game manager ... it's just that he's now managing games right into the ground. Please make a note in your records. Over the past three weeks, how many times do you think Brad Childress has thought to himself, "Maybe I should do what Parcells did and roll the dice with my backup" before remembering that his backup is Brooks Bollinger and shouting an obscenity? Ten? Twenty-five? Fifty?)

Save for the quote about Brooks Bollinger, I think that's pretty accurate.  Bollinger might not be the best QB in the NFL by any stretch, but if he was healthy, he'd sure as hell be an upgrade over Sad Brad Johnson.

Speaking of the season being over. . .

Over the course of the past couple of weeks, I've been looking at a couple of draft sites.  According to the latest first-round draft order at The Great Blue North, the Vikings currently project to have the #9 pick in the 2007 NFL Draft.  There are quite a few sites out there that are projecting the Vikings to take Dwayne Jarrett, the WR out of the University of Southern California.

(Yes, there are websites that are doing 2007 NFL Mock Drafts when there's still 4 weeks left in the 2006 NFL season.  God bless the interweb.)

I can honestly say that I would not be opposed to this one bit.  Jarrett is a beast. . .6'5", 215 pounds, great hands, great speed. . .he's just the sort of player that the Vikings need, and just the sort of player for Tarvaris Jackson to build a great rapport with over the next couple of seasons.

I hate looking forward to the draft this early.

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