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BREAKING NEWS: Farve Plans to Stay Retired (For at Least the Next Five Minutes)

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Cue the World News Tonight music...

According to Yahoo, Brett Favre is not going to sign with the Vikings, citing a "source close to the team". The report also indicated that the Mississippi Man of Mystery will address the situation publicly "soon", which I'm sure means "any time within the next four months."

If you read my story yesterday, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm pretty excited about this news. Unfortunately, I also realize that this is simply one report from one anonymous source, and this story involves the biggest flip-flopper of all-time.

My personal conspiracy theory: since Favre is getting all of his SportsCenter thunder stolen by Manny Fertility Mania today, he's going to lay low until he can have all the headlines to himself again in a few weeks. Or maybe he's making this "not signing" statement just to stay in the headlines? Just a thought.

Go ahead and feel free to discuss in the comments section, because call me crazy, but I don't see this story going anywhere for quite a while. I better start removing all sharp objects from the area surrounding my computer.