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Welcome to The Daily Schism

Adam Schefter, in his rush to throw out any ol' negative piece of crap about the Vikings he can muster, has decided to report that the Vikings' acquisition of Brett Favre has caused a "schism" in the Minnesota locker room.  As Anthony has rightly pointed out, such accusations are pretty much a big, steaming pile of crap. . .but, as Anthony has also pointed out, it's also pretty much given us our catch word for the next few weeks, and I'm going to make every effort to work the word "schism" into things here as much as possible as a result.  Also, since this is the English language and words can be manipulated pretty much any way we see fit, the word "schism" will be taking on many different forms.

For example. . .

-Judd Zulgad over at Access Vikings has reported that Bernard Berrian has resumed jogging at Vikings practice today.  Berrian, the Vikings' leading receiver in 2008, suffered a schism in his hamstring during the pre-season opener against Indianapolis, and missed the Vikings' second pre-season game against Kansas City as a result.  With speed being a huge part of Berrian's game, he has to be careful not to let that schism get any worse, and as a result coaches are unsure whether or not he'll be available for Monday night's pre-season game against Houston.

-Glenn Holt's bank account suffered a major schism today, as the Vikings cut the fourth-year wide receiver loose.  Holt had been signed in the off-season to compete for punt return duties for the Beloved Purple, but the schism between himself and other candidates such as Percy Harvin and Jaymar Johnson had just become too wide after the first couple of pre-season games.

-I wonder if the Vikings' radio play-by-play team can work the word "schism" into a few plays this year. . .I can see it now. . .

PA:  First and ten, Vikings, from the thirty-two, single back formation, two receivers left, one right along with Shiancoe. . .here's the snap, toss right to Peterson, setting up his blocks, darts through a schism to the thirty-five. . .AND HE'S LOOSE!!  Adrian Peterson is streaking down the right sideline. . .twenty. . .ten. . .TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS!!

Bercich:  Man, PA, I'll tell you what. . .with a schism that wide, I could have gotten sixty-eight yards on that play.  You could have darn near driven an eighteen-wheeler through that schism!

-I know that schism is a real word and everything, but it just seems like something out of a Snoop Dogg song, doesn't it?  "All them other suckas, you won't even miss 'em, ya gotta know that Snoop Doggy Dogg is the schism. . ."

Yes, I just rapped.  The apocalypse is nigh.

Seriously, any reports of a "schism" in the Vikings' locker room appear to be nothing short of completely and thoroughly ridiculous.  The Vikings have strong enough veteran leadership in their locker room to ensure nothing like that happens, and by all accounts Brett Favre has been a great locker room guy to this point.

Defensive end Jared Allen told reporters he’s not taking any "schism questions because it’s a bunch of [expletive]."

Safety Madieu Williams said Favre has "fit in great."

"He’s one of the guys," Williams said. "Everybody has welcomed him with open arms. He’s been a great locker room guy."

Asked if players laugh about the schism report, Williams said: "We don’t pay attention to it because it’s all speculation. We know what goes on in our locker room."

Linebacker Chad Greenway, walking off the field, said: "Schism. You guys are making up words now."

Maybe folks like Schefter should spend more time looking for actual news stories and less time simply making crap up and seeing if anybody buys it.