I am almost at a loss for words. Almost. I mean, if I was at a true loss of words, I wouldn't be writing this right now, would I? Unless you lost power during the storm and you're just finding out, the Metrodome collapsed early Sunday morning, postponing the Vikings game until tonight, and moving it to Detroit.
This is a disaster or it is fortuitous, depending upon your point of view. Well, no one was hurt, thank God, so it's not really a disaster. And if you're a season ticket holder, or someone who had bought a ticket to the game and had flown in to watch it, you probably wouldn't call it fortuitous, either. It just is what it is. As always, we move on.
But wIth the way this season has gone, at some point you just have to shrug your shoulders and laugh. Because when this old world starts getting me down...ah hell, James Taylor can do it much better than I can:
On the roof, it's as peaceful as can be. SMR, Metrodome Deflation Special Edition, after the jump.
Blue Chip Stocks:
Metrodome Roof Snow Removal Crew: I'm thinking other than being the live bait for a no weapons lion hunt, that had to be the worst job in America Saturday night and Sunday. Oh, and how about having a grand total of five guys on the roof Sunday morning with driveway shovels just as the Fox pre-game show went live? Nice visuals.
"Hey Ted, grab four guys, get a shovel, and get to the top of the collapsed Metrodome and get that 8 tons of snow off of it, okay? When you're done with that, the Titanic called and asked for a bucket. Can you help them out, too?"
Those guys worked Saturday night under conditions that the Coast Guard wouldn't even operate in to try and stave off the collapse, but they had to be called off the roof because it got too bad. The fact that they were up there in the first place...in the fifth worst blizzard in Minnesota history...gets my applause and respect.
Zygi Wilf, Vikings Owner: The smartest play Wilf can make right now is to just shut up and let the visuals speak for themselves. The Vikings are playing a home game...not in Minneapolis. The stadium is vacant and in shambles. Behind the scenes, he better be lobbying state politicians like Whitney lobbies her dealer for free crack, but the best public play is to do nothing, and let the state of Minnesota get a taste of what Vikings football would be like if they don't get a new stadium.
The Guy In the Metrodome Driving The Golf Cart When The Roof Collapsed: I don't know who you are, sir, but I'm glad you're safe. And I didn't know golf carts could haul ass like that.
Fate: We've been able to largely laugh about this because this happened at 5:00 in the morning, when the dome was vacant. Had this happened during a game, it could've been a national tragedy. We've all been to the dome, and we know how narrow the seat rows and concourses are. Put that in with 60,000 panicky fans, and it could've been the Who in Cincinnati all over again, only much worse.
Solid Investments:
Whoever the Genius Was That Had The Camera Rolling: You, sir or ma'am, should get a nice Christmas bonus from Fox. Video footage of the year, if you ask me.
TCF Bank Stadium: There's a good chance the Vikings will play a home game, outside in December, for the first time since 1981. Please wear the throwback uniforms, for old times sake. Please?
Junk Bonds:
The Metrodome Roof: Does this really need an explanation?
The Minnesota Legislature and Governor: Can you guys and gals FINALLY get off your dead asses and pass a stadium bill? If you need someone to burn the place down, I'll help.
Buy/Sell:
Sell: Playing the Game in Detroit. Detroit is the second most dangerous city in America.
Buy: Playing the game in St. Louis. St. Louis, however, is the MOST dangerous city in America, and I live 20 minutes from the Edward Jones Dome. I could've seen a Vikings game for free. Live. BOOOO NFL decision makers!!
Okay, that's about it for now. I'll have the regular SMR tomorrow. See you then, and SKOL Vikes!