Because you have to laugh at it all. We'll have more tomorrow, but this needs to digest. Oh, for what it's worth, the Favre family has said there has been no decision. Therefore, I have channeled my inner FDR and declared a fake war on ESPN, because although this may not be all their fault, their non-stop, wall to wall coverage over a story that hasn't been 100% confirmed just rubs me the wrong way. Oh, we'll have a training camp roundup about everything that isn't Favre later tonight, or early tomorrow. For the time being, enjoy:
Dec. 7, 1941, August 3rd, 2010 - a date which will live in infamy - the Minnesota Vikings was suddenly and deliberately blindsided by radio and television reports by the Empire of ESPN.
The Vikings were at peace with that network and, at the solicitation of ESPN, was still in conversation with Rachel Nichols and her producer looking toward the training camp piece in Mankato.
Indeed, one hour after ESPN talking heads had commenced non-stop gabbing about an unconfirmed retirement of Brett Favre, the ESPN reporter to the Minnesota Vikings and his colleagues delivered to the Head Coach a microphone to reply to the recent report. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing reporting, it contained no threat or hint of retirement by Brett Favre.
It will be recorded that the distance of Bristol from Mankato makes it obvious that the report was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, ESPN has deliberately sought to deceive the Minnesota Vikings by false statements and expressions of hope of continued peace.
The report today on the Favre situation has caused severe damage to Vikings fans and post season hopes. Very many season ticket orders have been lost. In addition, Viking stadium efforts been reported torpedoed in the Legislature between the House and Senate.
Last week, ESPN also launched an unflattering story against Adrian Peterson.
Last night, ESPN forces attacked Pat Williams. But those forces were eaten in three bites.
Last night, ESPN forces attacked Tarvaris Jackson.
Last night, ESPN forces attacked the Offensive Line.
Last night, ESPN attacked Brad Childress.
This morning, ESPN attacked the Brett Favre retirement story.
ESPN has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Vikings roster. The facts of today speak for themselves. The fans of the Minnesota Vikings have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very season of our team.
commander in chief Temporary Blogger in Charge of The Daily Norseman, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated story, Vikings fans in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe I interpret the will of the Vikings and of the fans when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our team, our season and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our football team- with the unbounding determination of our fans - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us Gods of Football.
I ask that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by ESPN today,
Sunday, Dec. 7 August 3rd, 2010, a state of war has existed between the Minnesota Vikings and the ESPN empire.