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An Open Letter To ESPN

To Whom It May Concern,

I just wanted to take a moment to point out that your coverage of last night's Monday Night Football contest was one of the most pathetic, disgusting displays I've ever seen.

I won't even touch on the fact that, in your pre-game "opening," the existence of the Minnesota Vikings wasn't acknowledged so much as one time. No, it was a three-minute tribute to Minnesota's opponents, who you placed on a level with America, apple pie, and the United States Marine Corps, and basically implied that anyone that wasn't totally in love with them should grab their local newspaper and see if Al-Qaeda has any openings.

There are plenty of examples that I could use to point out exactly how pathetic the coverage was last night, but let me point out the one that sticks in my craw the most.

Last night, apparently at some point during the fourth quarter, Vikings' defensive back Antoine Winfield needed help getting off of the field after an injury. Do you know why I say "apparently?" Because the three sycophants you employ in your football commentary booth didn't even bother to acknowledge it. We fans of the Minnesota Vikings. . .who, if you all missed it, were the other team on the field Monday night. . .didn't know that anything had even happened until Coach Leslie Frazier's press conference 20 to 30 minutes after the game.

Yes, I get that the [REDACTED] are a better team than the Minnesota Vikings are and that you absolutely, positively can't shut up about them. Great. Fine. Wonderful.

Antoine Winfield has been an outstanding player in the National Football League for a very long time now, in addition to being an upstanding person and someone that I've never heard anybody say a single bad thing about. It's entirely possible that the injury he suffered. . .a broken collarbone, since I'm still not sure if anyone from your network has bothered to mention it almost 12 hours later. . .could mean that he's played his last game as a Minnesota Viking, and possibly his last game in the NFL.

For your "crew" to not even acknowledge his injury is nothing short of pathetic. For your network to, basically, ignore the presence of the Minnesota Vikings for 3 1/2 hours is nothing short of pathetic. If you all want to be homers, that's just fine. . .change the name of your station to the Eternally Slurping the [REDACTED] Network and be done with it.

I guess if there's an upside to the Minnesota Vikings being bad and not getting many Monday Night Football games in the foreseeable future, it's that we won't have to worry about subjecting ourselves to the endless stream of crap that comes from your network's football commentators. I mean, seriously, when you're a Vikings fan that's pining for Joe Buck to stop in and take over the booth, that's a bad sign. Even John Madden thinks Jon Gruden took the ass-kissing a little too far.

Honestly, at last check, you guys are a national network, and you claim to be the "worldwide leader." It wouldn't kill you to at least, occasionally, act like it.

Christopher Gates
Nauseated Minnesota Vikings Fan (and, surprisingly, not totally because of my team's on-field performance)

P.S. - Yes, I stole the [REDACTED] thing from the good folks at Every Day Should Be Saturday. It just works, okay?