The number of Minnesota Vikings players on injured reserve is piling up, the team is struggling to sell-out Sunday's game, and Minneapolis is "back" in stadium talks with the Vikings. If there was ever a fan base in need of a good laugh and a reason to smile, it's the Vikings' fans.
Lucky for you, you're reading the Daily Norseman, we have more fun with bad material than other sites have with teams who have winning records. Sadly, I don't know if that says more about our talent or the material we have to work with.
When I revealed the Track 1 winner for the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011, several readers expressed interest in both flexing their skills choosing music for another topic and for a caption contest. Since DN aims to give the people what they want, on Monday I gave you a picture sans caption so you could amuse and delight us. We received several submissions for our caption contest for the picture of Percy Harvin's 104-yard kick return. And the winner is...
C'mon, you didn't really think I'd tell you before the jump.I presented the submissions to my fellow DN writers and, while there were some universal favorites, there was enough debate to warrant awarding a few runner-up selections. Leave it to those guys to not make the task of choosing a winner any easier. And imagine them not loving the submission from Beserker, "Surely if I take this one to the house Skol Girl will follow ME around at training camp…get off me man, you’re ruining my chances here!" as much as I did. Boggles the mind.
Here are the more unanimous favorites.
In fourth place we have a tie between Grime's submission "I gotta pee!" and CCNorseman's "I’m about to take this 104 yards, bitches…wait, how far am I in the endzone? 7 yards? Ok, doing some math here…carry the 1….DAMNIT, I won’t reach the other endzone."
In third place is Landonio with, "Swiss Army knife...now comes with foldout Percy Harvin!"
Holding down second place is Purpledork's funny salute to what could have been going through Percy Harvin's mind as he raced down the field, "I’m gonna make Hester look so bad. My form is perfect—I’m like Jerry Rice. Feel that stride, so fluid and fast. I’ve got the stride of a gazelle: a beautiful, beautiful gazelle person. My body is achieving a perfect symmetry right now. Its that long, lean muscle I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I should have popped my shirt off first…god-dammit, I really should have popped that shirt off. I wonder if there are any women watching from the sidelines."
And, in first place your caption contest winner is DM_Purp with, "You mean to tell me that this doesn’t even get me a single fantasy point!?"
Congratulations DM_Purp, on behalf of the Daily Norseman I award you this Burger King crown that I reapproppriated from Alittlemore_cowbell (had it for winning Track 1 of the Ultimate Misery Mix) and this vintage 1987 Chuck-E-Cheese token. Use them wisely. And quickly because I'm planning to reuse them for the next winner.
Ah, and that brings us to our topic for Track 2 of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011. Like Percy Harvin, there have been a few other superstar players (Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen come immediately to mind) and they get a bit overshadowed in the crap fest that is the Vikings 2011 season. Well, here's your chance to select a musical ode to the players who keep amazing us and giving us a reason to watch despite the team's record.
I'm going to kick the topic off with a song that I have been waiting to use for a long time. Not only do I think it applies to players like Harvin, Peterson, and Allen (they work out), but it gives me a chance to make good on a threat I made to our own Eric J. Thompson to have more images of scantily clad men on the site--you know, just to even things up because Eric posts pics of cheerleaders.