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Reason #1,844 Why The NFL Labor Strife Blows

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Intrepid Strib reporter Judd Zulgad passes along some good info from coach Leslie Frazier and erstwhile NFL reporter Peter King, and in normal times, they'd have me fairly excited.

The fact that I used the words 'intrepid' and 'erstwhile' describing two different people in the same sentence means I should get some sort of award, but I digress.

In our first nugget, Zulgad tells us that were it not for the labor crapola that's really dragging our off-season down, the Vikings would be preparing for their first of two off-season minicamps.  New NFL coaches get two as opposed to the typical one, because they're like, you know, new and all, and it might take them some extra time to familiarize themselves with the players, and vice-versa.

And even if the labor dispute were settled tomorrow (really, you in the fourth row, quit laughing or I'll have you removed...and take off the purple cheesehead immediately, that ship has sailed) it doesn't seem like there would be enough time to get everyone in on time.  But why?  Well, you see boys and girls, when professional athletes are left to their own devices and aren't under the influence of their coach, and don't have access to the team's training facilities, many of them do what you and I do on a daily basis--we sit on our couch and we eat salt and vinegar potato chips until we're on the verge of getting sick.  You know the feeling, like you miiiiight be able to choke down two, maybe three more, but that fourth one will have you hugging a toilet all night.  So, they're not in good enough shape to come in and run through a week long mini-camp.


His second bit of info, this through Peter King, is that the Vikings are one of the leading teams in the Carson Palmer sweepstakes.  This would make me all warm and happy inside, like a shot of Gentleman Jack, or 10 year old Bushmills, but this actually makes me mad.  Why?

Because, if you haven't heard (and I know you have, I'm just trying to get as many words in here as possible while not really saying a whole lot, thereby triggering SB Nation to be launched to the very top of the Google search engine,giving us more hits here at DN) trades are not allowed during the lockout, so no trades can be talked about, thought about, consummated, or consecrated.  Because if they did, they would go blind and grow hair on their palms.  Wait...

Scratch that last part, that has nothing to do with trades at all.  Just trust me when I tell you that no trades can take place.  They can hold a draft, but no free agency or trades.  How stupid.

Oh, that's right, we're talking about the players and owners.  Never mind.