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Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 Multi-Track Challenge Results

"The folks over at the Daily Norseman are doing a musical homage to me? Track 9 of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011? Weird."
"The folks over at the Daily Norseman are doing a musical homage to me? Track 9 of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011? Weird."

When I suggested a multi-track challenge to help fill out the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011, I knew it would be kind of a mess to keep everything straight and organize all the musical selections. However, the reality of dealing with all 74 song selections was more of a mess than I predicted. Fortunately, once again my fellow writers here at DN came to the rescue and helped me select winning songs for five more tracks of the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011. The season (and year) may be over, but at the Daily Norseman the music is still going strong.

The submitted songs highlighted the eclectic musical tastes of the DN readers and the general attitude of fans toward the Minnesota Vikings recording one of their worst seasons in team history. You'd think it would be a gloomy outlook, but, all things considered, it's pretty plucky.

Join me after the jump for the next five tracks in the Ultimate Misery Mix 2011. We might have to organize a time-share for the Burger King crown.


The Track 5 challenge was to come up with a song that best describes Christian Ponder's rookie season with the Minnesota Vikings. After replacing veteran quarterback Donovan McNabb as starting quarterback this season Ponder gave fans almost equal measures of hope and cringe-worthy moments. Well, it's a process.

In third place we have a tie between Usman 'Uzi' Altafullah's selection Linkin Park's "Numb" and Alittlemore_cowbell's selection Shinedown's "Save Me".

Coming in at second is our own Christopher Gates with a song that we will give him grief about for a long, long time--Katy Perry's salute to changeability "Hot N Cold". It isn't that I disagree with him, but since a lot of Chris' other musical selections have been more in the vein of angry-metal, him submitting a song by power pop diva Katy Perry is somewhat unexpected, not unlike the Spanish Inquisition. So, we gotta give him crap. It's a moral imperative.

Winner of the Track 5 challenge is JWILLIS11 with a great song by Augustana "Shot In the Dark".

I got a vision for the life that is right in front of me
I got a ride, I got a reason, got a destiny
I know exactly where I’m headed and I’m never looking back
Well, nothing’s holding me back
Well, nothing’s holding me back

Rising up slowly and getting higher
I’ve been living with a hole in my heart
Weighing down on me, man, but I’m a fighter
I know I still got a shot in the dark


The challenge topic for Track 6 was to choose a song that best described what the Vikings future would be in 2012. While most of the song choices were hopeful, the DN writers couldn't agree on any of the songs. Someplace else, that might matter, but not so much here--I just fudge it.

In fourth place we have my favorites, purplegrey's submission "Got To Get Better in a Little While" by living legend Eric Clapton, and another selection from JWILLIS11 "Comeback Kid (That's My Dog)" by Brett Dennen. Submitting a Clapton song is just not fighting fair, and I have a feeling that the tendency to cheer for an underdog could work in the Vikings favor--look at Saints fans and Lions fans.

Third place goes to Ted's choices. He was torn between Simple Minds' other hit (seems like there were only two) "Alive and Kicking" and Howard Jones' "Things Can Only Get Better", both submitted by rdcoffey5. But I'm also adding in Ted's submission "The Rising"" by Bruce Springsteen--one can only hope that the Vikings are positioning themselves to rise from the ashes of the 2011 season.

In second place Eric chose CCNorsemen's submission "Misery" by Minnesota's own, Soul Asylum. I'm going to cross my fingers and hope that the Vikings don't opt for a name change to Frustrated Incorporated.

The Track 6 challenge winner, as chosen by Mark, is Blakeyf101 with a song by Yazz whose message we can only hope is true for the Vikings in 2012, "The Only Way Is Up".


For Track 7, the challenge topic was to choose a song reflecting how fans feel about the Vikings coaching staff. Of all the topics in this multi-track challenge, this one seemed to have the most potential for scary musical choices. But that didn't really happen.

Third place goes to rdcoffey5's submission "The Heat Is On" by Glenn Frey and to Beserker's submission "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley.

Second place goes to suns_shine's submission Disturbed's version of "Land of Confusion" and to Led Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused" submitted by both Googners and Grape Drank.

The winning song for Track 7 was submitted by charlie13, "Stuck in the Middle with You" by Stealers Wheel. I'm glad to know who sang this song, I always mistakenly thought it was the Eagles.


Oh, what can you say about a team that was remarkable for all the wrong reasons during the 2011 season? Well, apparently a lot because there were several song submissions for this Track 8 challenge topic.

Third place goes to a song chosen by Kyle, a version of "They're Coming to Take Me Away" put to clips of Heath Ledger's Joker submitted by Lars in SLP.

Second place goes to suns_shine for his submission "Who'll Stop the Rain" by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

The winner of this challenge, as chosen by Ted, is Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" submitted by rdcoffey5. It's funny the things I learn about my fellow DN writers with these musical challenges. Ted likes Cher is is unashamed. This is also for Eric, because Cher's wearing as little as the ladies who grace the gratuitous picture of the week.


Of all the five Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 challenges, Track 9 garnered the biggest response. This challenge was to select a song that best sums up the un-showy, but quietly remarkable career of retiring 13-year Viking veteran Jim Kleinsasser. There were 22 song submissions for this challenge alone. Isn't it bromantic? With difficulty, we've chosen some winners, but the whole list of songs submitted is good and worth listening to as a Jim Kleinsasser playlist so I'll post the entire list of submissions later. Until then...

Fourth place goes to los vikingos for submitting G. Love & Special Sauce "Baby's Got Sauce" and to Grape Drank for submitting Jim Croce's "Don't Mess Around with Jim". I don't know why guys like Croce so much, it's as much of a mystery to me as why guys are so devoted to peanut butter cookies.

Third place goes to a song submitted by Ted, "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by Scorpions. Months ago Ted and I joked that this was the song he would use when Kleinsasser had two touchdowns in a game, kind of sad that we're using it now in his retirement homage, but the song still fits the man. Ted shares his third place honors with Jesse442 who submitted Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" for the challenge--because Kleinsasser sort of looks like he should be wielding a broadsword and dressed in animal skins.

In second place we have Landonio's submission "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters and liveforadrenaline's submission "I'm A Man" by Chicago (Terry Kath).

The winning song for this challenge absolutely had to be "My Way" by the great Frank Sinatra, submitted by Lars in SLP. In the age of nomadic football players chasing big free-agency money, Jim Kleinsasser valued playing his entire career for the team that drafted him--even though sometimes that meant making less money. According to Kleinsasser, there were times it drove his agent crazy, but Kleinsasser didn't regret it and he left the NFL the way he came into it, in Vikings purple.

Thank you all for your great song selections and congratulations to the first place winners JWILLIS11, Blakeyf101, charlie13, rdcoffey5, and Lars in SLP. The response for this multi-track challenge was great, but it was a lot of hassle for me so don't expect to see another any time soon.

However, I think the Ultimate Misery Mix should have a total of 12 tracks and, as you can see, we've only got nine. So, here's the the next Ultimate Misery Mix 2011 challenge.

TRACK #10 Should you choose to accept it, the challenge topic is to choose a song that seems a fitting tribute to Jared Allen breaking the Minnesota Vikings single-season sack record. All submissions must be in by Friday, 8pm and you can expect to see the results on Sunday or Monday.

As for the Burger King crown, we'll have to work out a time-share or a cage fight for it. It's really getting dinged up.