So, how 'bout them Vikings?
If you're new to this site, you're probably wondering who the heck I am. Well, I'm the token chick on the DN staff and you haven't heard more from me this season because...well, that's a long story. Let's just shorten it down to say I haven't had time to write because of a family emergency.
A couple days ago Eric dropped me a line saying that one of our readers expressed an interest in one of my frivolous contests. So, to Lars in SLP, thank you, I'm touched. Actually, I'm just surprised anyone remembers me considering I've been such a ghost around here.
I've considered a few different contest ideas and, much as I'd love to do some wild multi-track season soundtrack challenge, I just don't have the time to listen to all your musical choices. Yeah, I really do listen to all the songs that people submit, even the scary Scandinavian metal bands. Who knew that people who make flat-pack furniture could be so angry? Blame it on the pickled herring.
Maybe we can catch up on the season soundtrack after the New Year, sort of a retrospective. But in the meantime, we need some silliness.
Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson has had an astounding comeback from knee surgery. Not only has he come back from surgery faster than people normally return, but he's been better than anyone other than, well, Adrian, could have possibly imagined. Seriously, Eric Sugarman, Vikings head athletic trainer, has got to be wondering to himself, "Am I really that good?" Peterson went from being the guy we hoped would be a candidate for the Comeback Player of the Year to being on the Most Valuable Player shortlist and chasing down Eric Dickerson's single season rushing record, one amazing week after the next. Everybody knows Peterson is going to get the ball, defenses key on him, and he still finds a way to post numbers that are downright ridiculous.
Peterson is so incredible that the word cyborg has been used to describe him so often that it has lost it's punch. He's beyond cyborg. He's into...Chuck Norris territory.
And that brings me to our contest. Hopefully, you've seen some of the Chuck Norris jokes that abound, otherwise this won't make much sense. Basically, Chuck Norris is the toughest, baddest dude around and there are all sorts of jokes about just how tough he is. Here are a couple examples:
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it's just afraid to move.or
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to create similar jokes for Adrian Peterson because, and I think Chuck Norris would agree, that dude is tough.
Submit your Chuck Norris-esque joke about Adrian Peterson in the comments below. We'll take two entries per person until noon on Saturday, December 22, 2012. Winners will be crowned...oh, let's say on Monday. And, if someone submits a joke that you think is great, by all means vote for it by giving it a rec. If enough people vote for a joke, we may crown a People's Choice winner as well as a Judges' winner.
Get crackin' and submit your Chuck Norris-esque Adrian Peterson joke. Do it for the
cash honor glory dented-up, imaginary Burger King crown! Yeah, we really need a prize budget.