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It Would Be Awesome, But I Still Don’t Think We’re Getting Brian Urlacher

Sorry Ted.

Still nope.
Still nope.
Eric P. Mull-US PRESSWIRE

So, if you follow Twitter (or ProFootballTalk, or Pioneer Press, or really any other source of NFL news), you're probably pretty well aware that the ‘Brian Urlacher To The Vikings' rumblings came back with a bit of a vengeance today.

(That "whoooo!" you just heard in the distance? That was Ted.)

First off, I am a big fan right now of this idea. This is how I see it- Brian Urlacher would come out with a vengeance to begin the season. He'd be darn well aware that this is probably his last season in the NFL, and I do believe he'd want some Brett Favre-style vengeance on the Bears. The guy wouldn't hold anything back, in my canine-assisted prediction.

"But Kyle, Brian Urlacher is old and has bad knees and they'd probably give out if he did that somewhere around mid-season." Yes, this is likely correct. But guess what? We'd have this guy named Mike Mauti who should be ready to go right about then. Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt- MLB problem, game set match. And unlike ideas akin to getting Charles Woodson on a ‘rental contract', in this scenario Urlacher's not really taking snaps away from our future guy- he's simply keeping the seat warm until Mauti's ready to go. As a bonus, it helps take the pressure away to get him back onto the field too fast (which I still legitimately believe happened to Cedric Griffin).

That said? I just don't think it's going to happen.

First off, let's examine this now widely-spread report (widely spread in small part thanks to yours truly, of course) and its origins. All of the stories (including this one), tweets, etc. you've heard originated with exactly one source: this story here. Now I don't know much about Mr. Frattallone or BringMeTheNews, and I certainly don't mean to disparage them here- but this isn't exactly Jay Glazer (as @VikingsFanPage pointed out right away on Twitter when this all started to ferment). And that story itself says that the news is coming "out of Chicago". Unless the Vikings PR Staff has set up camps of operation in enemy territory to leak rumors and spread news*, that means "it comes from Brian Urlacher and his camp".

*Wouldn't that just be a totally Spielman move, though?

Further throwing water on the fire is the fact that the story claims that the second team in contention for the LB's services are the Denver Broncos. Well, earlier today, the Broncos have stated they have zero interest in Urlacher. So, already, we have proof that 50% of the story is false rumors. Not sure why we should choose to believe the Vikings half of the equation is any more reliable.

The Vikings will have room under the cap to make the move, sure, but will they want to? Urlacher considered Chicago's 1 year, $2 million offer an "insult". Do we necessarily want to spend the money to make the offer a "compliment" for a guy who might/ probably will only play somewhere between 50-75% of the season? Zygi Wilf sure has shown he has no qualms about cracking open the piggy bank, but c'mon: he's gotta have a limit. Granted, desperation may be drastically pushing Urlacher's price down, but after his public temper tantrum with Chicago's initial offer, I sincerely doubt he can go below $2.5 million at this point, considering he knows darn well how that would make him look. The guy's likely a future HoF'er already, so I'm sure he'd consider retirement the better option at this point over looking totally foolish in his last hurrah.

So, we'll see I suppose- I wouldn't say Urlacher is 100% out of the equation, but I'd say he's about 95.8% out, rumors and speculation (and my feelings about how perfect it would be coupled with Ted's ravenous desire for schadenfreude) be darned.