MINNESOTA VIKINGS	WK 1	DETROIT LIONS
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Just like last year, here are the ground rules for the Game Threads:

-Thou shalt not link illegal feeds of today's game, or I shall kick thy arse to the curb until the game is over. Do not promote then, do not mention them, do not even hint at them. Thou hast been warned.

-Thou shalt make an attempt to keep the swearing to a minimum. Understandable that it will slip occasionally, but do try to limit it. If you really feel the need to curse, use the spoiler tags to keep it covered up. We'll get the sentiment.

-Thou shalt not feed the trolls. Rather, thou shall simply point them out, and they shall be banished to the fires of Mordor. Or Wisconsin. Whichever we feel is more harsh at the time.

-Thou shalt not engage in racist, sexist, or other such insulting rhetoric. Somebody disagreeing with you does not make them racist or sexist. It means they disagree with you. Talk it out like adults.

-Thou shalt not bait the fans of other teams into trolling.

-Basically, thou shalt not be a jackwagon in the game thread.

Sweet mother of Walter Camp, it's time for actual, honest-to-goodness football that matters, ladies and gentlemen! New uniforms, new faces, and a lot of anticipation for the Minnesota Vikings this year, as they open up with a big divisional road game against the Detroit Lions. So what needs to happen for our favorite team today in order for them to emerge victorious?

1) Unleash the beast - We know that Adrian Peterson is the reigning NFL Most Valuable Player, and that he might be the best player in the league at any position. We also know that he didn't play at all this pre-season, and he's got to be chomping at the bit to get out on the field and smash some heads. The Vikings are one of the few offenses in the NFL that keys everything off of their running back, so I'd expect to see Peterson get the ball early and often in this one to try to open up everything else.

2) Ponder needs to play better - Much-maligned Vikings' quarterback Christian Ponder appears to be out of excuses going into this season. He comes into 2013 having been given what should be a much improved group of receivers with Greg Jennings and Cordarrelle Patterson joining Jarius Wright, a fully healthy Jerome Simpson, and the enigmatic Joe Webb. Now it's on him to take advantage of the opportunities that will be afforded to him with the defensive focus on Peterson and make the Lions (and everyone else) pay for stacking the box. If he can't do that, the leash will be much shorter this year with Matt Cassel waiting in the wings. I think that Ponder can show that improvement this season, but he'll have to show it between the lines in this one.

3) Get after Matthew Stafford - The Lions have, once again, revamped their offensive line. Former first-round pick Riley Reiff, who was rumored to be getting moved to guard not that long ago, is the starting left tackle, and will see a lot of Jared Allen. Brian Robison has gotten off to fast starts the past couple of seasons on the other side, and has a big chance to do that again in this one. If the Vikings can consistently bring the heat on Lions' quarterback Matthew Stafford, it will go a long way towards a Vikings' victory this afternoon. Calvin Johnson is going to get his yards, but he can't catch passes if Stafford is staring at the roof at Ford Field.

We're about 90 minutes away from kickoff in Motown, ladies and gentlemen. I know you're all as excited as I am, so let's get after it already!

SKOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL VIKINGS!!!!