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Stock Market Report: Bears

Football is a terrible affliction

David Banks

That was a putrid display of football.

1. The Vikings were coming off of a bye.

2. Chicago had laid down easier than a prepaid hooker in the last two games.

3. After the fake punt and ensuing touchdown, the Bears were ready to implode into oblivion. And the Vikings not only let them back in the game, they pretty much got their ass kicked.

4. Bill Musgrave would have been proud of the Vikings offensive game plan today.

5. Football sucks.

Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

The SMR that's going to be short and sweet follows.

Blue Chip Stocks:

Nobody. Except the fans that sat through this three hour farce.

Solid Investments:


Junk Bonds:

Norv Turner: When your leading rusher is Andrew Sendejo, off of a fake punt, the execution of your gameplan was an abject failure. Jerrick McKinnon had eight carries, one after halftime. Eight. One. Are you kidding me? And if you were going to decide to pass, I can see that, because the Bears secondary is horrid. Yet, through three quarters, Vikings wide receivers had a grand total of three catches. At halftime, Andrew Sendejo had more yards rushing (48) that Teddy Bridgewater had passing (39).

Teddy Bridgewater: Quit with the checkdowns. Receivers are open, how about you quit waiting until the last two minutes to look for them?

Everyone Else: It was a group effort of suckitude.

Don Glover Quote Of The Week:

"Son, I'm too old for this. Way too old."

I pretty much don't care about the rest of the season, not if this team is going to give that kind of sorry effort.

See ya, I'm out...