Super Bowl LII: Vikings Confident In Super Bowl Bid

Yesterday in Atlanta the Minnesota Vikings, lead by Stadium Guy Lester Bagley, formally submitted their bid to the NFLowners in hopes of hosting Super Bowl LII in Minnesota.

That's fifty two, not LII-do, WHOA OH OH OH WHOA OH OHHHH OHHHHH.

According to multiple reports, the Vikings, who are competing against New Orleans and Indianapolis, went first, and had a 15 minute presentation, which is the time allotted to all cities.  A lot of people think New Orleans is the favorite, as they are 10 for 10 when submitting a formal bid to Host the Super Bowl.  It's tough to compete against New Orleans, with the Superdome, the French Quarter, the warm weather AND THE BOUNTIES SO FUCK THOSE GUYS. So yeah, whatever on New Orleans.

Indianapolis, on the other hand, hosted Super Bowl XLVI after they built Lucas Oil Stadium, and they are a very good host city in their own right. Indianapolis as a host city was very well received, and they are the 'go-to' city for the Big Ten conference in hosting major events like the Big Ten basketball tournament or the Big Ten Football Conference Championship Game.

But the Vikings' bid has a couple things going for them that New Orleans and Indianapolis don't have.  For one, a new stadium is on the way.  In recent years, the NFL has been very accommodating to cities that enter into a private-public financing arrangement for new stadiums. Like Indianapolis, for example.  Part of the offset in costs in spending public money is the fact that a Super Bowl can bring in a lot of revenue to a city, and the new stadium will hopefully bring in other things--like the NCAA Final Four, said Big Ten events, and so forth.

Weather also might seem to be a factor, at least when compared to New Orleans, but Bagley said that's not the case:

Bagley was confident Minnesota's brutal winter would be irrelevant in the competition for the Feb. 4, 2018, league championship game.

"As we've had interaction with other NFL owners, it's not going to be a factor in their vote," he said. "They're going to vote for the best bid."

Weather aside, Minneapolis has a lot going for it, maybe even more than Indianapolis or New Orleans. It's a major transportation hub that can handle a large influx of people, house them for a fairly extended period, and then get them the Hell out of town when it's time to go.  I've been fortunate enough to make a few business trips back home since I moved away, and flying into and out of Minneapolis is ridiculously easy.

Most importantly, the reason I think the Vikings and the state of Minnesota are going to get the Super Bowl is because I am going to invoke Ted's Conspiracy Theory.  What is Ted's Conspiracy Theory? I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED:

Just so we're clear here--this is all conjecture on my part. I have no official notes, I have no quotes, nor do I have anyone going on the record about this.  But I'm not an idiot, either. Well, okay, I'm a moron, BUT I KNOW I AM RIGHT ABOUT THIS.  Hear me out, and then tell me I'm nuts.

Remember when the stadium bill seemingly died in committee, and it looked like it was all over? The bill was dead. Didn't even make it out of committee, and there were no plans to revive it and at least bring it to the floor for a vote. No bill, no one in the legislature gave a shit, Vikes become a free agent team, moving seemed a foregone conclusion.

Remember what happened next? Roger Goodell and Bob Kraft, I think it was, flew out to Minnesota, and had a meeting with the Governor and some legislative leaders.  When they emerged from that meeting, you'd never seen such a group of motivated politicians in your whole life.  What happened?

I will go to my grave believing that this was largely a one way conversation and Goodell said something to the effect of:

"Look, one of two things are going to happen.  Option one is that you group of sorry ass jackwagons are going to sit on your asses and do nothing. Cool, fine. But if you leave it like this, I can promise you two things: Number one is that the Minnesota Vikings will move, and they will have a unanimous vote by the rest of the owners to do so.  And number two, you will be forever known as the Governor And Legislature That Lost The Vikings.  See if that gets you a free beer at Stub and Herbs in December."

"Option two is you're going to walk out of this room with smiles on your face so big people will think I've been paying  for free lapdances in here, and there's going to me so much harmony and Kumbayah between you clowns the voters in this state might actually fuckin' believe it.  Governor, you're going to announce that a new bill will be introduced, and it will pass.  And when it does, I will give you a Super Bowl.  Definitely one, maybe two depending on how the first one goes. And I will see to it that that vote will be unanimous as well. Seriously, if Tagliabue can get a Super Bowl into the Metrodome, this will be a cakewalk."

"Your call. Deuces."

I will go to my grave with the belief that's what happened, and that's why the Vikings are going to get a Super Bowl.