Dear John-ny Football,
Hey, how's it going? Things are fine here. Well, actually, they're fine for me. But this is probably the hardest letter I've ever had to write.
I really don't know how to be graceful about this, so I'm just going to be up front, and come right out and say it:
I've met a new quarterback, and I really, really like him.
Look, things have been crazy here, and I want you to know...it's not you, it's me. I really thought we had something special, but you know, life takes funny turns sometimes, doesn't it?
I really thought you were the one, Johnny Football, I really did. But then, well, things just happened. Things I never meant to happen, but they did happen all the same. And although I feel really, really terrible about doing this to you now, I have to be honest, both with you and myself. And I want to give you a chance to get a good thing going with Cleveland.
And if I'm being honest with you and our relationship, Teddy just came in and swept me off my feet. It was a whirlwind, it's not something that I meant to happen, but it did. And I don't have enough room in my heart for two quarterbacks, so I have to say goodbye to one of you.
So...goodbye, Johnny Football.
C'mon, you knew deep down in your heart, that we were really never meant to be, right? We were a longshot to begin with, but we both threw caution into the wind and said 'to Hell with it, let's see where this goes'.
And we had a blast, didn't we? All those message board conversations defending your game, all those ESPN stories that showed off your swagger--you are a rock star, a light that burns bright in the sky.
And for awhile, you burned bright in my sky. But in the end, it just wasn't meant to be.
I mean, how many mock drafts had us linked at the hip? Remember the first time? It was magical. And do you remember when people kept tearing you down, and trying to keep us apart? We vowed we would never let that happen.
But it did happen, and no one is more sorry about that than I am. I wish I could explain what happened, but I can't. It just did. Teddy has a big heart, a big arm, and he cost less in terms of draft picks than you did. Simple economics, really.
So I have to see where this takes me, and I really think we're going places.
Look, I know this is hard. It's hard for me, so I can't imagine what you're going through over there, in Cleveland. Just know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart, and even though we aren't going to be together, I wish you well, and I hope the Dog Pound treats you like you deserved to be treated.