I'm going to be honest with you...I don't gamble. Maybe once a year, I'll roll on down to a casino and play some slots, or try to find a $2 blackjack table, but that's about it. If I did gamble a lot, I'd probably be homeless, wandering the streets for scraps of food and clothing, because I suck at it. In the few times I have wagered on sporting events, I didn't win. I didn't lose big, mind you, because at heart I am gutless and all I could think about was money leaving my wallet.
Which it did, but in only small amounts. But some of you do gamble, and hey, this is America, to each their own, you'll find no judgement here. Unless, of course, you were a stadium opponent, and then MY GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND THE DESTRUCTION GAMBLING BRINGS RAWR RAWR RAWR.
Whatever. Anyways, for those of you that do like to lay down some cash on football...wait, a quick aside here. How the hell can you gamble on football? Serious question here, but not in a judgy, eternal damnation kind of way. Look, I know MILLIONS of Americans wager BILLIONS of dollars, but it's nerve wracking enough for me just watching the game with nothing on the line but a win for my team, or maybe a lunch wager with a friend during a rivalry game. If I had $500 on a game...I think I'd stroke out.
But that's just me.
Like I said, America and all, and there's no judging here. Anyway, if you gamble on sports, the Super Bowl is...the...Super...Bowl...of sports gambling. You can bet on not just the outcome of the game, but on the coin flip, length of the national anthem, and so on.
Sportsbook Review has some of their prop bets listed right here, and below is a sampling:
How many times will the announcers mention any form of the word deflate between the singing of the national anthem and end of the game?
4 or more -150
What hair color will Katy Perry have to open her first song?
Purple/ Blue +250
Which song will Katy Perry begin her set?
I Kissed a Girl -120
California Gurls +300
Dark Horse +500
None of these +150
Will Katy Perry and Lenny Kravitz kiss on the lips?
No - 500
What product will be the first to air after the first play of the first quarter?
Budweiser/Bud Light -120
Turbo Tax +650
None of these -200
Will Patriots' head coach Bill Belichick be caught smiling on camera during the game?
Will Marshawn Lynch grab his crotch after scoring a touchdown?
Will the camera catch Tom Brady and Bill Belichick hugging after the game?
No - 700
Odds on Oddities
Fan streaking +3500
Goal posts fall down +3000
The power goes out +4000
Katy Perry's nipple gets exposed +4000
Lenny Kravitz shows his junk (penis) +5000
Game goes into overtime +800
So what do these numbers mean? I have no idea. I reached out to Daily Norseman VP of Wagering (read: degenerate gambler*) Eric Thompson, who explained it like this:
Examples are easier.
+240 = Betting $100 wins you $240
-200 = Betting $200 wins you $100
*Probably not a degenerate gambler.
No...no it doesn't. Thanks for trying, though, Eric. I appreciate it.
If I wanted to make a ton of money if I was Katy Perry or Lenny Kravitz...or anyone else named as a prop bet, I would think it would be pretty easy to have a proxy put down some money on said bet, and then, you know, make some easy money. But that's just me.
Anyways, if you're interested in making one or more of these bets, this is just a sampling. I'm sure there's plenty more out there if you're interested.
We wish you luck.