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Birth Control Isn't Rocket Science.

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Professional athletes who can't seem to stop making babies and the women who treat those babies as paychecks make me sick.

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Hey, all of you professional athletes of the world! There's this thing called BIRTH CONTROL. They teach middle school children all about it, yet you can't seem to get the concept down. There's also this thing called KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, but we all know there's zero chance you're going to master that concept. Now I realize that not EVERY professional athlete is a manwhore. Those "fringe" players, the ones who you'd be hard pressed to name, are probably not killing it like Adrian Peterson or Antonio Cromartie is. But if you are a recognizable professional athlete in this country, odds are good you're banging every hot woman you can. Because you can.

If you're wondering who you can thank for this little rant, you can look at Mr. #28 himself, Adrian Peterson. TMZ broke a story that he knocked up yet ANOTHER woman who IS NOT his wife (that would've made child number 9 for him). Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), she miscarried. But that's not stopping her from seeking compensation from AP. This piece of work apparently kept the "Fetal tissue" in order to prove that it was AP's child in an effort to get compensation for her medical bills (which is understandable), but also additional money for "pain and suffering". I can't even adequately express how disgusting this is.

Let's talk a little bit about the women who have these children by these professional athletes. They are just as bad as the guys. It's called birth control. Again, it's something they should definitely look into. But they won't. Because these women (and again, I'm not saying ALL of them) use their babies as a paycheck. I can't say for sure, but I'm guessing most of these children rarely, if EVER, see their fathers. So we have men who want to have sex with random gorgeous women and random gorgeous women who want a big pay day. That's really putting kids first right there. It's almost like some of these guys are trying to outdo each other in the "making babies with as many as women as possible" contest.

Why are these guys so damn stupid? I mean, you might have more money than God, but eventually, that kind of money will cease to be deposited into your bank account and you will still have 10 years left paying child support for 9 (or more) kids. How can they not do that simple math? Use a condom, FFS. It prevents pregnancy AND STDs AND you from going broke. It's like the Amy Schumer Friday Night Lights skit. 

I'd like to see her write a skit about how not to knock up random women just for professional athletes or even how it's okay to wear a condom. It's desperately needed.