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Horns, Swords and a Longship: Friday, March 18

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It's Fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Yuck it up sports fans, it's almost time for the weekend!

I think it's only fair we have a photo to honor the newest Viking. Welcome Andre!
I think it's only fair we have a photo to honor the newest Viking. Welcome Andre!
Mitch Stringer-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the best Friday of the week! Enjoy yourselves sports fans! The updated name has returned after a one-week hiatus due to me being a forgetful dingus last week and not getting the Open Thread up until nearly 8 am. Anyway....

Longship Log:

The Vikings signed 2015 USA runner-up Grimace impersonator Andre Smith to a one-year deal. No word yet on how the Hamburglar is taking the news.

Around the Horns:

Vikings Territory: They have scouting reports on tackle/guard prospect Joe Haeg (NDSU) and wide receiver Pharoh Cooper. They have a fresh Question of the Week too.

Vikings Journal: Joe Oberle writes about the Vikings' approach to free agency thus far with regards to their newly revamped offensive line. User Waiter1602 begs Norv Turner to stop acting like Brad Childress.

1500ESPN.com: Episode 123 of the Purple Podcast is out. According to Judd Zulgad, Mike Wallace is guilty of nothing more than a poor choice of words.

Roundup: Wallace denies his press conference words were a shot at Teddy Bridgewater. The Vikings have begun negotiations with Eagan over the construction of their new team facilities. The Vikings apparently have the most expensive offensive line in the NFL in regards to the percentage of our cap they take up. Who knew? Jonathan Kinsley has his most recently updated "Deep Ball passing" chart out for last year's stats (Teddy does pretty well).

Battle news from the NFL:

Health report: Cornerback Tray Walker of the Ravens is in critical condition after being involved in a motorcycle accident down in Florida. Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank says he's cancer free.

Roster moves: Running back Chris Johnson re-signed with the Cardinals on a one-year deal. Russell Okung got PAAAAAAAIIIIIIIDD by the Broncos. Peyton Manning will not be retiring as a Colt. The Seahawks re-signed running back Christine Michael. The Buccaneers signed former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Daryl Smith.

Here are the proposed rule changes.

Minnesota Twins update:

The Twins continue to be the one of the few teams that Baltimore has beaten this spring training, falling to the Orioles 1-4. Ryan Pressly took the loss as no Twin managed more than one hit. The Twins return to action today at 12:05 CT against the Boston Red Sox for the fifth time this spring with a chance to secure the Governor's Cup and return that series to a 12-12 tie.

Since the photo's of our other newcomer on the offensive line, I think it's only fair that we bring in a video of the other newcomer on our offensive line. Enjoy!

Again, we all know the rules, but in case someone is new:

-No discussion of politics or religion
-No feeding of the trolls
-Keep the bad language to a minimum (using the spoiler tags, if you must)
-Speaking of which, if discussing a newer show or movie, please use spoiler tags 
-No pictures that could potentially get someone fired or in serious trouble at their place of employment
-If you can't disagree in a civil manner, feel free to go away
-While navigating the open thread, just assume it's sarcasm

With that, the disco light is down and the bar is open. Belly up & tie one on. Don't forget to tip Thor, & try the cashews.