Draft Picks And Sam, a Dr. Seuss Joint

*Note: A lot of fans are okay with the Sam Bradford trade...but many people are not. And no matter what you say to those fans, you can't change their mind. Dr Seuss can't even do it, as we see below. There's a couple of bad words, but it's nothing like Zim Tzu...read this as you would read Green Eggs and Ham to your kids or grandkids...in Morgan Freeman's voice...

A trade for Sam!
Sam I am!

That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am

Why? Do you not give a good goddamn?

I do not like him,
we're in a jam.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam.

Would you like Sam
Here or there?

I would not like Sam
here or there.
I would not like him anywhere.
We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam

Would you like him
in our new house?
Or you just gonna bitch and grouse?

I do not like him
in our new house.
His trade made me fight with my spouse.
I do not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere.
We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam


Will you like him when they load the box?
If he raises our playoff stock?

Not a loaded box.
Or playoff stocks.
Not in our new house.
I'll bitch and grouse.
I will not like him here or there.
I won't like him anywhere.
We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam

Would you? Could you?
in a bar?
Bourbon! Whiskey!
Here they are!

I would not,
could not,
in a bar.

You may like him.
You will see.
You may like him
He's as tall as a tree!

I would not, could not if he's as big as a tree.
Not in a bar! You let me be!
I do not like him with a loaded box.
I do not like our playoff stock
Just gonna bitch and grouse!
I do not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere.
We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?

Not on a train! He's not a tree!
Not in a car! Damn! Let me be!
I would not, could not, with a loaded box.
I do not like our playoff stock.
I'm just gonna bitch and grouse!
So I will not like him in our new house.
I will not like him here or there.
I will not like him anywhere.
We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam


Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM PLAY IN THE DARK!

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
He'll fumble the ball and cause us pain,
Not in a bar, he's not a tree!
I do not like that Sam, you see.
Not in our house. No playoff stock.
Bitch and grouse. Not a loaded box.
I will not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere!

You do not like our new main man?

No! Rick mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam.

Could you, would you,
if he became the GOAT?

I would not, could not.
HE'S NOT THE GOAT!

I would not, could not, in the rain.
He'll fumble the ball and cause us pain,
Not in a bar, he's not a tree!
I do not like that Sam, you see.
Not in our house. No playoff stock.
Fought with the spouse. Not a loaded box.
I will not like him here or there.
I do not like him ANYWHERE!

We moved a first round pick, my man.
We mortgaged our future, for freaking Sam.