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Horns, Swords and a Longship: January 20, 2017

Chicago Bears v Minnesota Vikings Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images

Around the Horns

Adrian Peterson speculated about his future on ESPN’s First Take yesterday. Make of what he said what you will. VT is also starting up their draft preview articles; they started, of course, with an offensive lineman.

Matthew Coller looks at the five best landing spots for Adrian Peterson.

If you feel like getting upset this morning, take a look at the comprehensive proof that the 2009 Saints were a bunch of cheating, cheap-shotting dirtbags.

Apparently the questions surrounding Adrian Peterson’s contract will be resolved sooner rather than later.

Clancy Barone is the new tight ends coach for the Minnesota Vikings.

Apparently Chad Greenway hasn’t made his final decision about retiring just yet.

Xavier Rhodes getting some love from the national media.

An NFL agent seems to think the Vikings will have trouble re-signing Matt Kalil. You know, assuming they want to re-sign him at all.

Swords from the Opposing Hordes

The Raiders have officially filed the paperwork necessary for them to make the move to Las Vegas. One of the Davis’ said that the Raiders will be hanging around in Oakland for a few years while the work on their stadium is completed, hopefully in time for the 2020 season.

The Seahawks could be losing their second round pick this season as a result of their decision to hide the length and extent of Richard Sherman’s injury.

The flu appears to be going around the Steelers’ locker room.

The Browns appear to be on the verge of extending recent defensive addition Jamie Collins.

The 49ers might try to make a play for Kirk Cousins this offseason.

New York Jets owner Woody Johnson was named the US’s Ambassador to the UK.

Andrew Luck underwent shoulder surgery and is expected to be ready for the start of the 2017 season.

Detroit Lions running back Zach Zenner will be performing medical experiments on rats this offseason.

Minnesota Sports Update:

Apparently the Timberwolves did a thing and beat one of the better teams in the Western Conference last night. So that was a little unexpected. The T-Wolves took down the LA Clippers 104-101 in Los Angeles and have now won four of their last six games. That’s pretty good, I guess. They play again Sunday at home against the Denver Nuggets, with tip-off at 6:00 PM CT.

The Wild rebounded from their bad loss against the Devils on Tuesday by sneaking past the Arizona Coyotes 4-3. The Wild got two power play goals from The Storm System(TM) and singles from Stewie and Meme Face(TM). The Wild play again Saturday as part of the final event of Hockey Day Minnesota when they take on the Anaheim Ducks in a battle for point supremacy in the Western Conference. The Wild turn right around and play again on Sunday, taking on their division rival Predators. Saturday’s game is an 8:00 PM CT puck drop, and Sunday’s is a 7:00 PM CT puck drop. LGW!

I was about to include a video for today, but for whatever reason the site didn’t let me load it. So just enjoy a link to the video until I can get the real thing embedded into the story.

Again, we all know the rules, but in case someone is new:

-No discussion of politics or religion

-No feeding of the trolls

-Keep the bad language to a minimum (using the spoiler tags, if you must)

-Speaking of which, if discussing a newer show or movie, please use spoiler tags

-No pictures that could potentially get someone fired or in serious trouble at their place of employment

-If you can't disagree in a civil manner, feel free to go away-While navigating the open thread, just assume it's sarcasm

-This isn't a male version of The View, so leave the gender hatred at the door

With that, the disco light is down and the bar is open. Belly up & tie one on. Don't forget to tip your local dolphin brigade, & try the shark-flavored driftwood.