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Teddy Bridgewater Fitted With Metallic Exoskeleton

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The Vikings decided they could rebuild him. Bigger, stronger, faster.

Teddy Bridgewater will be sporting a much different look in 2017.
Picture by Peter Rogers

And here you thought that the Minnesota Vikings signing Case Keenum was the way they were going to fix their quarterback issues.

Early on Saturday morning, the team announced that quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, who is still recovering from a non-contact knee injury that he suffered in Training Camp last season, would be back for Week 1 of the 2017 NFL season. . .thanks, in large part, to the latest in modern technology.

Stark Industries, a multinational industrial company based in New York, has created a special suit designed to help Bridgewater get back on the field. The suit, made of a reinforced titanium alloy, will alleviate the pressure on Bridgewater’s injured knee via a series of complex electronic systems built into the suit.

“We had a prototype already in storage, and when the Vikings came to us, we were happy to help them out,” explained Pepper Potts, the current head of Stark Industries.

There were some modifications that had to be made to the suit, however. First of all, its built-in rocket boosters needed to be removed, as the National Football League had banned the use of such devices following the 1991 release of the Disney film The Rocketeer. (Man, talk about foresight.) However, there was one modification that took Stark Industries even more time to fix.

“The knees.”

The knees?

Potts explained, “Even prior to the injury, Teddy Bridgewater’s knees were half the size of those of a normal human. So, given that limitation, it took quite a while to modify the legs to get the proper fit. But, after hundreds of man hours of work, we finally got things just right.”

Though the suit will allow Bridgewater to get back on the football field, it isn’t without its drawbacks. Due to the rocket boosters being removed, the suit will somewhat limit Bridgewater’s mobility. With the suit, Bridgewater now weighs in at 400 pounds, or just slightly lighter than Bryant McKinnie when he reported to Vikings’ training camp in 2011.

Still, Vikings’ GM Rick Spielman expressed zero regrets over the decision to go ahead with the experiment.

“When we first looked at Teddy, we had to ask ourselves, ‘Can he walk at all? Or, if he moves, will he fall?’ And since our answer was that he would actually fall, we decided that we had to take measures to prevent that. Stark Industries was our first choice.”

How does Bridgewater feel about the whole thing? Well, at the press conference, he flashed his trademark smile and answered with just four simple words.

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM IRON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!”

It will be interesting to see how Bridgewater adjusts to the suit when the Vikings take the field for Training Camp this July. That’s one of the many stories that we’ll be following here at DN as the offseason progresses.