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Off-Topic Time: Minnesota Vikings Horse Names

Yeah, it’s off-topic time.

143rd Kentucky Derby Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images

In case you missed it, the 143rd running of the Kentucky Derby just took place at Churchill Downs, and it was won by Always Dreaming. After seeing some of the names of the horses, and given that this is the offseason, I thought this was something we could potentially have a little fun with.

If you had a race horse, and you wanted to give it a Minnesota Vikings-based name, what would you go with?

Now, there are some parameters that you have to remain within when it comes to naming horses, according to the folks at Mental Floss.

The first rule of naming a horse is that a name may consist of no more than 18 letters, and spaces and punctuation marks count as letters. Eighteencharacters is acceptable (and is, in fact, a registered horse name) but Eighteen Characters is not. Other ineligible submissions include names consisting entirely of initials; names clearly having commercial, artistic, or creative significance; names that are suggestive or have a vulgar or obscene meaning; names considered in poor taste or names that may be offensive to religious, political or ethnic groups; and names of living persons unless written permission to use their name is on file with The Jockey Club.

So, just for kicks and giggles. . .and something to do on a lazy Saturday, really. . .what are some Viking-centric names that would be good for a race horse?

I thought I had a good one based on a joke we use on the Twitter machine all the time, that being HookedOnAThielen. Because of the character limits, it would have to be done that way, because the three spaces that would have to be involved otherwise would push it to 19 characters. Of course, according to the rules, I’d have to get Adam Thielen to give me permission to do that, so I’m not totally sure that it would fly.

But, with that, I’m going to leave this one to you folks. Let’s hear your best Minnesota Vikings-based horse names, given the parameters above. Have at it, ladies and gentlemen!