Tuesday Open Thread: January 23, 2018

Hi Tuesday,

Hey, there are only 13 & a half weeks until the draft & 33 more weeks left until opening day (yes, I counted). Hopefully I’m able to care about football by then, because right now, I have zero @%#*s to give. If I pop in the comments at all today, it will only be for long enough to tell a horrible dad joke........then leave. Kinda like crop dusting.

Around the DN since our last open thread:

Ted has your Stock Market Report for Sunday’s s*** show, err.....NFC Championship Trouncing.

WFludford looks at pieces to put together over the off-season. I’m going to guess that all the king’s horses & all the king’s men don’t have a snowball’s chance in the pit of hades of putting some of the pieces back together again.

The New York Giants, who must not have watched our offense on Sunday, have named Pat Shurmur their new head coach. Best of luck to Pat, I appreciate what he helped start here, but I’ll never forget that he totally p****d one down his leg on Sunday. Never.

News from around the web (I’ll post as many as I can before I vomit):

From NFL.com, the Browns hired Todd Haley as their new offensive coordinator.

Case Keenum says he’ll cross the free agency road when he gets there, per NFL.com. Hopefully he has better aim getting to that road than he had getting the ball to his receivers on Sunday, or he’ll wind up signing with the Jamaican Bobsled team.

From NFL.com, Dick LeBeau is reportedly out as the Titans DC. In response to the news, LeBeau reportedly said he’s been through worse, like that time back in his youth when he was attacked by a T-Rex or when he fought in the Greco-Persian wars.

SI says that Baker Mayfield ‘may play a little’ in the Senior Bowl. Great, I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that.

We come to today’s media selection.

Thanks to CWill for the suggestion. Perfect.

Again, we all know the rules, but in case someone is new:

-No discussion of politics or religion
-No feeding of the trolls
-This isn’t a male version of The View, so leave the gender hatred at the door
-Keep the bad language to a minimum (using the spoiler tags, if you must)
-Speaking of which, if discussing a newer show or movie, please use spoiler tags
-No pictures that could get someone fired or in serious trouble with their employer
-If you can’t disagree in a civil manner, feel free to go away
-While navigating the open thread, just assume it’s sarcasm

With that, the beer light is on and the bar is open. Belly up & tie one on. Don’t forget to tip your waitress, & try the Drano. In the immortal words of Frank Drebbin, “Sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you feeling hollow inside”